May 28, 2009

"He Better Watch What He Says"


We don't make those decisions. Ok?," said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "Chrysler makes those decisions. So I am sure you can send Chrysler the address of the blog that you refer to. ... We're not involved in making those decisions I would think your question would be appropriately dealt with by the company that is."

No, fuck you.

I don't know about the rest of you morons but I'm about fully fucking fed up with being talked down to by this administration.  Beyond the fact that we have it on pretty good authority that Chrysler isn't making any fucking decisions anymore, how does he get off being so flippant and dismissive?  Rumsfeld* was crucified for being half this much of a tool to the media. 

Due to this rote denial, I'm going to use my handy statistical machine to determine that there is a 100% chance they did politically aim the closings at Chrysler.  See, that's the percentage of denials made by the Obama Administration that have turned out to be solid lies. 

Fuck you.  Fucking.  Cocksuckers.

* - I loved him.  I still love him.  I want Cheney and Rumsfeld to be Emporer and Supreme Commander.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:29 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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May 26, 2009

Initial thoughts + legal geekery

Following will be my initial thoughts on Judge Sotomayor's nomination for the Supreme Court. Please note, I am making no representations that I am wholly familiar with her judicial philosophy or rulings, as I stated, these are initial thoughts.

I'm going to get this out of the way right now - the concept that I should be thrilled with her nomination simply because she has girly bits and hey, I do too is inherently sexist and insulting. This presumption that gender identity should trump any other philosophical differences presumes that I, as a woman, am incapable of placing thought above identity. That's deeply, deeply insulting. My agreements and differences are with her ideas, not her sex. To claim that I must set aside all that I think and believe simply because she is female as well places the realm of theory underneath that of tribal identity. What utter bosh.

IMMEDIATE UPDATE: I'm trying to get my hands on the speech referenced in this post for my own analysis. But based on the excerpts and what Gabe says over at Moron Central, well, I retract my attempts at being fair minded and not assuming the worst. The idea of "special knowledge" and different ways of thinking based on ethnic and gender differences is appalling, particularly in a judge. So, while I stand by the statements contained below, I am less inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to her at this point.

More geekery to follow:

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May 21, 2009

Oh, so these are the rules now?

So these are the rules now?

Bring it, bitch.  Seriously.  I can do oppo like a motherfucker and if these are the rules, then fine.  Turnabout is fair (so to speak) play and all that. 

This is the thing, there is an assumption by those who use the Alinsky tactics that those against whom the tactics are being used won't fight back.  Now, this is not a bad assumption based on prior experience.  But things change.  I, for one, am tired of playing "fair".  If we're going to degenerate into completely ignoring the rule of law and basic freaking decency, well, then I'm not going to be the last one standing there playing by the rules.  Of course I don't want to descend to that level.  But sometimes that's all that's left to do.  So these are the rules now.  Okay then. 

I'm thinking that it's about damn time someone slaps a TRO on the asses of those who do this.  Not to mention pursuing stalking charges.  Oh and if they're taking pictures of/posting info about kids?  Yeah, possibly predation claims as well.  What's that?  That's not fair?  That's slanderous and libelous and harassing and untrue and vile and and and. . . Yeah.  Sucks to be on the other side now doesn't it?

Opening Pandora's box is never ever a good idea.

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May 14, 2009

An Open Letter To Representative Jack "Abscam" Murtha

Who the fuck do you think you are?

I only ask because you seem to be confused.  I'm not talking the normal state of fugue in which you drift through the halls of power.  We're all aware of your mental retardation.

No, I'm talking eating shit and calling it a steak confused.  I'm talking thinking Wanda Sykes is funny confused.  You know, out of your fucking mind.

Did someone tell you you were important?  Did someone mistake you for a decent human being and not one of the biggest fucking wastes of human space to ever rob oxygen from babies? 

I mean, for fuck's sake.  Nine out of ten serial killers have done less damage to American society than you.  You're like ... well...  remember that song by Alanis Morrisette, Ironic?  Let's use that as a template:

You are like:

  1. An old man turned ninety-eight ... got brutally fisted by a roving band of AIDS-infected gorillas.
  2. Cyanide in your Chardonnay.
  3. A death row pardon ... that leads to the execution style killing of 47 daycare workers.
  4. Catching Ebola on your wedding day.
  5. A free ride ...  to a human slavery ring.
  6. Ten thousand spoons when all you need is your insulin.

Is this beginning to make sense?  People like you don't get to bully veterans and call soldiers murderers.  That's like colon cancer calling you an asshole. 

No.  You're the fucking asshole.  You're a festering cancer on the body politic.  A slimy parasite wallowing happily in America's shitty colon.  You're slightly less classy than 2girls1cup while simultaneously being more hypocritical than alterboy-fucking priest. 

I wouldn't piss on you to put out a fire.  If it were between saving your life and getting an uneccessary spinal tap, I'd undergo the procedure because it could theoretically have some value. 

So, in the future I have a few suggestions:

  1. Stop talking. 
  2. Try to buddy up with Ted Kennedy and get him to take you on late night rides in his limosine.
  3. Take up heroin.
  4. Go fuck yourself sideways with a chainsaw.

In closing, I'd just like to mention that the assembled cast of The Ringer would be a vast improvement over you and your staff.  I don't know what you offered Satan for the power you wield but I'm pretty sure it included your intelligence, your honor, your conscience and your morality.

Rot in hell motherfucker,
Moron Pundit

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