October 31, 2008

Doom Meter at 12?

Maybe, maybe not.

Read this and this in their entirety then come back and tell me where yours is.

Then go vote for McCain.  Seriously.  We can't let this happen.

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October 30, 2008

Election Loss Narrative*

Well folks, we're almost there and we'd have to be pretty optimistic people to assume a McCain victory at this point.  That means The One will be President and I think it is time to start getting the narrative together for after the election.

See, I feel very strongly that once Obama is president he should be given a fair chance.  The exact fair chance that the left and media gave Bush for the last eight years.  I'd like to attempt to replicate that wonderful treatment every minute of every day for as long as the Messiah is leader of the free world.

So, the first thing we need is a narrative on Obama's win in the election.  Here are a few handy lines you can use in every fucking conversation about Obama that you have with anyone for the next several years.  Remember, only perpetual, annoying repetition can truly replicate the glorious fun it was to have liberals around during the Bush Administration.

Obama Stole the Election

Of course, under normal circumstances it would be impossible to predict such an action before the election is complete but I'm sure we can always use ACORN and illegal voters to justify asserting this no matter what evidence may come out to the contrary.  Remember, even after the New York Times certified the Bush victory in Florida, libtards still continued to call him illegitimate to this very day. 

The key to using this gem is to repeat it every time any Obama fan even mentions his name.  It need not be germaine to the conversation.  If you are disagreeing about his response to an international disaster and your opponent makes a good point you have no counter to, just remind him that Obama shouldn't be making these decisions anyway.  You'll have them pulling out their hair in no time!

Obama Bought The Election

After raising the most money ever in a Presidential election, it is clear that Obama would have lost by a large margin were it not for his massive war chest.  The liberal may counter by suggesting that his massive draw was a consequence of his popularity with the common man and had nothing to do with corporate domination of the political system.

Then you simply state that vast chunks of his money came from corporations (as much as any corporation can give to any candidate which is none), that he violated his agreement to use public financing, and that in any event, the majority of his online donations came directly from Osama Bin Ladin (this is factually true barring Obama disproving it according to the Sullivan Standard of Evidence Truthiness).  So really, you can easily claim that Osama Bin Ladin bought the election for him. 

Think how much fun saying that to an Obama cultist would be?  You get to do it for FOUR YEARS!

Obama Is in the Pockets of Big Business

Now, we can't assert he is in the pocket of Big Oil as easily as they did with Bush so it is important to associate him with other large, corrupt energy industries like the Agrifuel Industry.  I mean, he's got one of those douchebags on his staff!  Also, associating him with SubPrime lending corporations is key.  He loves those guys and they always have given him the reacharound.

Obama Is Hitler

Background checks on people asking innocent questions? Check.  A lack of any credible contrarian media?  Check.  Complete control over all branches of government?  Check.  Rabid, cultist followers that will use every avenue to silence critics?  Check.  Just keep repeating it until it becomes true.

Whenever any law passes, make sure to go on and on and on about how you we will all be in reeducation camps in the next few months.  Make it clear that you would say more but are afraid they are listening to you and don't want to be disappeared.  If they ask who "they" are, just look around for a few moments and then lean in whispering, "the VLWC."

Obama Doesn't Care About White People

It is critical that every time a disaster of any magnitude effects White People, this be brought out.  Tornado hits a trailer park in Kansas?  Where was Obama?  Make sure to attach pictures of Obama reading books to kids or talking to rich friends during the crisis to magnify the effect that he doesn't give a shit about the disaster and hates white people.  When he counters that he is half-white and his family is mostly white, just respond that "I hear your refer to yourself as the first black president, not the 44th white one."

It is often helpful after that to call his supporter racist.

Update: In case I wasn't clear yesterday, I quote Classical Values:

Everybody vote. 

Don't give it to him.  Make him steal it.

* - I'm only about 47% serious here.  The last thing we want to do is become the retards we've been combatting for the last eight years but I am 100% serious about giving Obama as much support and leeway as the left gave Bush for the last two terms.  Fuck him and his cult.

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An Open Letter to Photobucket

To whichever douchetool it may concern:

It seems that I am no longer allowed to host pictures of assholes with crude cocks drawn on their faces. 

Pictures like this:


David Axelrod wants to cram your children. 

Well, I'd just like you to know how I feel about that and since I'm not very good at writing, I've provided the following graphical representation.


Die in a fire,
Moron Pundit

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October 29, 2008

I'm Concerned

As a concerned, liberal, Marxist, race-baiting douchetool I'm concerned. 

Very concerned.

I'm concerned about David Axelrod's cramming problem.

Sure, it started innocently enough, sticking pens and Barrack Obama dildos up his ass but over time his little bit of fun seems to have gotten out of control. 

Even he's not sure when the small objects lost their appeal but within months he had graduated to the knob-ends of baseball bats and Pringles cans. 

The spiral only accelerated from there.  In 2007 he was arrested over 40 times in one month for cramming fire hydrants, officers often expressing disbelief in their reports.   Their shock should not come as a surprise.  The depths of a cramming addiction are hard to comprehend. 

So why is this important?  Why does this make me concerned? 

Because David "Ass of Holding" Axelrod is a chief strategist for Barrack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign.  If Obama is elected, Axelrod's access to the highest echelons of global power will have a devestating effect.  Think of the damage done to a child's innocence when he goes on a field trip in our nation's capital only to see Axelrod rubber-gloving the Washington Monument? 

We should all be concerned.


It is well known that David Axelrod loves to cram. 

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Obamacalypse: ETA 6 days 16 hours

And the official Moron Pundit DoomMeter™ is at 11.

Look, am I the only one that's honestly, deeply concerned here?  We're about to elect the Communist Manchurian Candidate and not only will he have a $2,000,000 dollar party* in Chicago to celebrate but we will see perhaps the largest global celebration in history.


Part of me wants to relax and say, "this is politics in action.  The movement of party and power is a pendulum and will swing widely in arcs, eventually to return to balance and sanity."

I'd love to believe that but I'm starting to doubt it.  No matter how much people want to spin these polls to show that we're in it, we're starting to sound like Lefttards.  The polls are not close.    Now, I'm sure it'll be closer on Tuesday than that but the electoral count is going to be devestating.  The only hope is that McCain pulls out a win in California (something I believe is actually possible with the demographics but still a very long shot). 

Its time to get ready for what is about to happen.

After Tuesday, Barack Obama will be the least experienced, most extreme president ever elected in American history.  His associations are suspect and his true beliefs are a mystery even to people close to him.

After Tuesday, it is likely that Democrats will have 48 - 50 seats in the U.S. Senate with 2 Independents, leaving the Republicans with not enough votes to filibuster even if they could get all of the RINO's to play nice. 

After Tuesday, the Democrats will have nearly a 100 seat advantage in the House of Representatives.  This isn't any worse than a 1 seat advantage in terms of legislative power but is devestating when the difficulty of beating incumbents* is included.  It could take decades for the Republicans to beat that back assuming the left doesn't permanently change the rules (immigration reform, voting laws, etc.) and eliminate the competition outright.

After Tuesday, millions of angry, extreme leftists are going to feel more justified than ever in 'exacting revenge' on the WingNuts by breaking windows, defacing cars, looking into your private records, and any other fascist method of silencing the competition.

After Tuesday, even though the most powerful man in the world is a (half) black man, the level of society-required white guilt will increase dramatically.  It will generally be assumed by the powers that be that you are racist if you oppose policies put forth by The One and his cultists will agree.

After Tuesday, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi will sign the blank check for Obama to do literally whatever he wants.  With a relatively friendly court and an enormous legal team (the DOJ, natch) in their corner, there will no longer be any way to prevent any law they suggest from becoming law. 

Most importantly, after Tuesday the most terrifying cult of personality in American history will seize the reigns of power and the entire world will drink the koolaid**.  A group of people that have repeatedly demonstrated their willingness to use any means necessary to protect their messiah and destroy the lives and reputations of their enemies will take complete and unopposed control of the most power nation on Earth.

I'd like to think this is just another swing of the pendulum.

It's not.  We're so very, very, very fucked.

All hope is not lost.  We have one chance.  We have to all, every one of us vote.  We have to get everyone that is on our side to vote.  We have to hope that the good poll numbers have lured the cultists into a false sense of security.  We have to hope they drop the ball so we can pick it up and shove it up their asses.

Then, after we win, we get to deal with the riots. 

UPDATE:  Don't Give It To Him.  Make Him Steal It.


* - After making a big fuss that the RNC bought Palin a paltry $150,000 in new clothes for the campaign.  Only in a campaign this fucked up could the media cast negative aspersions for the purchase of clothes when their opponent has spent nearly half a billion dollars on greek columns and half-hour infomercials.  It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking ridiculously depressing.

** - A couple of countries won't, of course.  The Axis of DoucheBags, the Soviets and China will gladly accept him as U.S. President and begin their long-term plans to use him to weaken the United States.  Europe will gladly help because they're a bunch of jealous twats.  Unfortunately, without the world's economic engine, we're in for a very sad future indeed.

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October 24, 2008

I don't know what Allahpundit sees in KP

Seeing as how she's apparently had a talking to from her Democrat superiors, my balls want nothing to do with this column. Nothing at all.

Previously on doubleplusundead...

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:09 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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October 23, 2008

What Can We Do About It?

Obama definitely deserves to be investigated and probably deserves to go to jail. 

Just one problem.  Who is going to send him there?  Really.  Think about it.  Over and over the Republicans in general and the Bush Administration in particular have opted not to pursue legal action against Democrats even though there have been numerous legitimate opportunities.  Their excuse seems to be, "its not worth the trouble."  Its not worth the public backlash and protests and frothing leftist outrage to, I don't know, follow the rules.

Well, I think the Democrats noticed how gunshy the Republicans are after the Clinton investigations backfired because now they aren't even trying to hide it anymore.  They just openly violate the law with explicit media support and nobody calls them on it.

Honestly, are you telling me that, were McCain to have taken $5,000,000 in donations from bogus addresses and names he wouldn't have been murdered by the media and subsequently the FEC?  Obama won't even get fined.

We are about to watch Obama steal this election and nobody is going to call him on it in the interest of keeping the waters calm and the atmosphere friendly.

Fuck that.  Its time to draw the line in the sand.  We can't let the reward for massive, coordinated voter and fundraising fraud be a trip to the white house. 

The million dollar question is:  How do we stop them when our leaders aren't brave enough to press charges? 

Update: I realize I'm not articulating this idea very well so maybe some of the more intelligent out there can put it better.  The idea is that the left is now aware that they can simply break the laws and in an attempt to prevent strife, the right has decided to simply not prosecute even though these violations are becoming EGREGIOUS. 

I think they are afraid that if they crush Obama's election because he's habitually breaking the law they'll be called election stealers and racists even more than they already are.  Is this making sense to anyone because even when I read it, its missing something.

Update 2:  Below the fold...


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Now I know why Allahpundit loves KP so much

I want to dip my balls in this column.  Well, I mean, I would want to dip my balls in it, but I read it online, and you can't really dip your balls in the internets.  And if I'd read it in an actual copy of the Post, well, there could have been paper cut issues.  But you get the idea.  Good column.  Read the whole thing.

(Via Patterico, who's apparently got some domain issues right now.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:02 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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October 22, 2008

MSNBC appearances must be as addictive as meth

Ragging on Kathleen Parker just keeps getting easier. Apparently there is some super-duper-secret cabal of white Republicans out there who will say they're voting Republican, but really vote for The One:

But equally significant this time may become known as the Reverse-Bradley Effect: whites who would never admit to voting for a black man, but do. And, expanding the definition somewhat, Republicans and conservatives who would never admit to voting for a Democrat, especially one so liberal. Whether these dynamics are in balance won’t be known for a while — or perhaps ever. That’s because the crux of the reverse syndrome is a code of omerta.
I admit that there must be a lot of white Republicans wanting to vote for a black man for President. Hell, I'm one of them. I just don't want one that will be such a horrible President that people will think twice about voting another black man or woman into that same position. And, since we're speaking of the Bradley Effect, consider two things: if you were African-American and planning on voting Republican, would you tell a pollster that? Secondly, as Dennis Miller stated yesterday, after seeing how the media reacted to Joe the Plumber, why would anyone want to do anything that might ivite the same scrutiny? How does one know that a pollster is on the level?

Next imitates another conservative Republican icon, Colin Powell:
“Palling around with terrorists,” as Sarah Palin said of Obama, gets to an underlying xenophobic, anti-Muslim sentiment. Using surrogates who strategically use Obama’s middle name, Hussein, feeds the same dark heart.
Naturally, we can expect as much coverage of Palin hate at Obama rallies from Parker as as we can from the MSM at this point.

Last, but not least, there's this (emphasis mine):
Sitting quietly at their desks are an unknown number of discreet conservatives who surprise themselves as they mull their options. Appalled by McCain’s erratic behavior, both in dealing with the financial crisis and his selection of an unsuitable running mate, they will quietly (and with considerable trepidation) vote for Obama.
Eratic behavior during the financial crisis?  Hmmm.....where have I heard that before?  Well, I suppose in the fevered mind of Ms. Kathleen Parker, putting a campaign on hold to deal with a financial crisis is a bit erratic.  Others would call it putting country ahead of one's presidential campaign, something I'd never expect out of Sen. Obama.

Ann Coulter got fired as a columnist from National Review after her "invade their countries, kill their leaders" post-9/11 column.  Why is Ms. Parker still around, even in syndication?

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October 14, 2008

Christopher Buckley hates you

See-Dub sends this along.  Any of you remember Buckley's NYT (of course!) piece reacting to conservative opposition to McCain in the primaries?

In response, let me offer a thoughtful, considered, carefully worded comment: Would you all please just...shut...up? (I’d insert an intensifier, but this is a family newspaper.)

See-Dub offered a constructive suggestion to that, of course.  I'd note this, Buckley's reaction to McCain's speech at CPAC,

I’d love to have been inside his brain — or to have had a mind-reading crawl run across the bottom of the TV screen — as he was offering his emollient words. I’m guessing it was something along the lines of, “All right, you blinking, high-maintenance idjits, if this is what it takes, I’m willing to do it, but honestly I’d rather be doing vodka shots with Hillary Clinton.” But then defiance — defiance of the gleeful kind — is a quality I’ve always associated with conservatism.

It isn't so much that Buckley is a liberal (he could be, I'm not sure if his recent actions are based on ideology or class), or that he likes Our Lord and Savior (though it is obvious he does), it's that he hates the popular conservative movement.  As you can see in this NYT piece, Buckley resented that McCain had to come grovel to us at CPAC. 

If Buckley hadn't already decided to support Obama or the Democrat when his NYT piece was written, I'm guessing McCain's selection of Palin or the reaction to David Brooks or Kathleen Parker's anti-Palin scrawlings were the last straw. 

Palin was a major coup for us, it was an admission by McCain that victory was beyond his grasp without our help.  That had to piss Buckley off, and I'm wondering if he would have simply voted Obama and kept it to himself or stayed with McCain had McCain not given in to conservative pressure.

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October 10, 2008

You know what would heal the Red State-Blue State divide?

Why, an Obama victory in November, of course! So says some guy named Timothy Garton Ash in the L.A. Times:

An Obama victory won't spell the end of the culture war, but perhaps it may spell the beginning of the end. And let's be clear: This war will not finish with a victory of blue over red, or vice versa. It will finish with the accepted, peaceful coexistence in one society of different faiths, value systems and lifestyles -- along the lines laid down centuries ago by the classical liberalism of John Locke and others, which so much influenced the founding fathers. It won't be "liberals" (in the perverted sense in which that word is now used) trouncing conservatives, but classical liberalism remade for the 21st century. It won't be blue obliterating red, but red, white and blue.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Because nothing says "peaceful coexistence" and "classical liberalism" like law enforcement truth squads. Or legions of goons ready to shout down criticism of The One at the drop of a hat. Or an activist media that's deliberately misleading readers in service of their chosen candidate.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the kind of stuff that John Locke had in mind.  If you believe that, I'd like to talk to you about some very attractive financing rates available on a bridge in Brooklyn.

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October 08, 2008

Pessimism takes all the fun out of being right...


I suspect there will effectively be no nation of Urkaine within the next 5 years.  The Soviets stabbed and the West blinked.  Don't think they didn't notice.


Mr Yushchenko, who is visiting Italy, announced Ukraine's third general election in less than three years on television, in a pre-recorded speech.

He accused Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko of wrecking the government through her "thirst for power".

A Tymoshenko ally accused Mr Yushchenko of violating the constitution.

Ms Tymoshenko and Mr Yushchenko were allies during the 2004 "Orange Revolution" which swept pro-Western forces to power after a discredited presidential election.

Mr Yushchenko's Our Ukraine party pulled out of the coalition on 3 September after the Tymoshenko Bloc sided with the pro-Moscow opposition Party of Regions to pass several laws Mr Yushchenko saw as a threat to his presidential powers.

Two things:  1) I really wonder how far in the pocket of the Soviets Ms. Tymoshenko is and 2) If you think our election is important, imagine living in a country where the next election determines your continued freedom from Soviet domination.

President Obama will be sorely outmatched by Tsar Putin.

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Where's My Fucking Flying Car?

Maybe here?

The Transition is not a flying car. The vehicle, set to go on sale next year, will cruise smoothly on the road and through the sky. It will have four wheels, Formula One–style suspension, and a pair of 10-foot-wide wings that fold up when it switches from air to asphalt. And when the engineers at Terrafugia in Woburn, Massachusetts, let me sit inside their just-finished proof-of-concept vehicle and grab the steering wheel, it’s easy to imagine piloting this thing up and out of traffic, into the open skies.

But we’re not talking about a flying car. The Transition is a “roadable aircraft.” The team makes this distinction clear in conversation, on Terrafugia T-shirts, and in big, blue letters on the side of the trailer outside their shop.

Sounds like it's "not a flying car" the way Barack Obama is "not a socialist" or alexthechick "is not a BDSM freak."

Now, all we need to make the promise of the 21st century a reality is an obedient android sex slave.  For um.... other, lonely guys who are not sucessful with the ladies.

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Some Things To Ponder

Not to go Allahpundit here, but unless the polls dramatically shift after tonight's debate, maybe some hard questions and facts need to be asked and discussed:

  • At what point do we start pouring all of our time, talent, and treasure at the Senate, and keeping it under 60 Dems?
  • 2010 may be another rough year, since many wave Republicans from 2004 will be up for Senate re-election, and states such as MO (old drunk Kit Bond may not even run, or will face a spirited challenger) will face vulnerable incumbents.
  • What can be done to make sure Sarah Palin is viable in 2012, even with all of the press hate she has received?
  • If not Palin, then who should we start pumping at the grass-roots/blog level?
Sorry to be a downer, but barring something unexpected, Maverick may go down, and he may go down hard.

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October 06, 2008

Losing the Narrative (Severe Pessimism Warning)

We lost it and now we're going to lose.  Big.  You don't have to be Eeyore to see it anymore, either. 

After the Palin selection, the energy of the GOP base rose to a level that almost convinced me we could win. After a month to beat Obama's drum, the media shut that party down.  Then the economy gift-wrapped the narrative and gave it to them.

No chance now.  None.  My previous predictions of a 5% loss for McCain and a margin of 40+ in the Electoral Vote will look rather optimistic in a month.

McCain says he's going to go after Obama on Fannie/Freddie but I guarantee it will have absolutely no effect on the election.  It is too late and besides, America has proven time and again this cycle that they just don't care about who Obama is or what he's done.  I'm not sure what mental damage is responsible for this but the evidence is clear.  If it came out tomorrow that Obama had killed a man in 1990, I'm pretty sure his poll numbers would only drop by 5-10%. 

For whatever reason, this election cycle has nothing to do with logic or truth or talent or experience.  It has to do with something... else.

Anyway, new prediction:  Barring an outrageous Obama scandal* Obama wins the by about 6% popular and nearly 70 Electoral Votes.  He'll take "safe" states like Florida and Virginia and obliterate McCain in any "contested" state.

Here is my electoral map. Obama 349 - McCain 189.  Even with Florida it would still be 322 - 216.   It's over.


* - a) If that existed it would be out already and b) I can't even imagine what type of scandal could take the wind out of his sails if an unrepentant terrorist friend, nazi-like pastor and absolutely no experience didn't.

Update:  What the fuck was I thinking?  Everything is awesomely awesome.

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October 04, 2008

Something To Consider

This Rich Lowry article about Obama's assault on Free Speech really has nothing new to add, except for this nugget:

It's all just a taste of what's to come if Obama wins and Democrats have even bigger majorities in Congress, emboldening them to try to crush their antagonists once and for all. "Hate is not a family value" was a popular bumper sticker on the left during the 1990s. Now, the left has embraced hate as, if not a family value, the organizing spirit of its long assault on George W. Bush, and anyone else in the way, from Joe Lieberman to Sarah Palin.

America's partisan politics has always featured its share of rancorous abuse, but there's something rancid at the heart of the new, blog-driven left that believes its bullying childishness has led the way out of the wilderness. This spirit will inevitably seep into an Obama administration. Whatever Obama's professions of his commitment to cross-partisan understanding, he's never confronted the left of his own party and has always been willing to engage in hardball when it suits his purposes.

Little Keith Olbermanns will surely be burrowed throughout his executive branch, eager to chill the speech of the "worst people in the world."

If Obama wins, it will be the vindication of the Kos style of politics, complete with viciousness, name-calling, physical intimidation, the use of political offices to intimidate opponents, and the marriage between members of the media and the most vile elements of the blogosphere (remember: many media critters post stuff at Kos and DU either overtly or behind user names). Do we really want that style to be rewarded?

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