August 07, 2009

How (not) to win elections

(Bear with me, because this is gonna be a bit long.)

Kathleen Parker, the nation's second most prominent "conservative" voice (after Andrew Sullivan, that is), believes that the only way for the GOP to get back into power is to alienate one of its most reliable voting blocs, namely Southerners. Oh, and she manages to throw in a jab at her least favorite person in the word in the process:

A telling anecdote recounted by Pat Buchanan to New Yorker writer George Packer last year captures the dark spirit that still hovers around the GOP. In 1966 Buchanan and Richard Nixon were at the Wade Hampton Hotel in Columbia, S.C., where Nixon worked a crowd into a frenzy: "Buchanan recalls that the room was full of sweat, cigar smoke, and rage; the rhetoric, which was about patriotism and law and order, 'burned the paint off the walls.' As they left the hotel, Nixon said, 'This is the future of this Party, right here in the South.' "

That same rage was on display again in the fall of 2008, but this time the frenzy was stimulated by a pretty gal with a mocking little wink. Sarah Palin may not have realized what she was doing, but Southerners weaned on Harper Lee heard the dog whistle.

The curious Republican campaign of 2008 may have galvanized a conservative Southern base -- including many who were mostly concerned with the direction Democrats would take the country -- but it also repelled others who simply bolted and ran the other way. Whatever legitimate concerns the GOP may historically have represented were suddenly overshadowed by a sense of a resurgent Old South and all the attendant pathologies of festering hate and fear.

What the GOP is experiencing now, one hopes, are the death throes of that 50-year spell that Johnson foretold. But before the party of the Great Emancipator can rise again, Republicans will have to face their inner Voinovich and drive a stake through the heart of old Dixie.

Where to start? Well, with that first paragraph, I guess.

I don't know if Kathleen has noticed, but this isn't 1966 anymore. While, earlier in the column, she graciously asserts that "Not all Southern Republicans are wing nuts. Nor does the GOP have a monopoly on ignorance or racism," she jumps straight from that to a comment on birtherism, noting without batting an eye that a poll commissioned by The Daily Kos (!) found that a majority of Southern Republicans believe in the theory. Now,even if the poll itself is suspect, I find that troubling, but how about we work within the party to tamp down this idiocy? And, really, how long is this going to remain an issue? Hopefully not very long.

Next, well, fuck you, Kathleen, for insinuating that someone you're jealous of is, basically, an unconscious racist, ignorantly sparking redneck resentments. Don't think that's what she was saying? Well, watch the clip here, where she and Legthrill riff on that. Note that Allah, who admits he's "someone who’s not known for being a great fan of either Sarahcuda or the south," is disgusted by the clip. Be sure to also note while watching it that ever-so-smart Kathleen is convinced that Palin is likely unfamiliar with To Kill A Mockingbird—something which seems unlikely considering the fact that she's got a college education (though, of course, not from "The Right Kind of Schools"), she's the daughter of educators, and she has children in middle and high school. They don't just read Harper Lee in the Ivy Leagues, Kathleen, you fucking bitch. Really, click over and watch that clip at Hot Air. And try not to punch your monitor.

I'm not sure what Parker means in the next paragraph when she calls the GOP's campaign "curious." It's either A) That McCain and his people didn't know what the fuck they were doing (I'd be inclined to agree) or B) That it was "curious" in that they didn't just roll over and concede defeat the instant that her BFF Barack became the Dem nominee. Call me cynical, but I suspect it's the latter, especially since she breezily goes between noting that some southern GOPers were "mostly concerned with the direction Democrats would take the country" and basically screaming "RACISM!!!"

Ah, and then we get to the end, where Kathleen suggests that we have to "drive a stake through the heart of old Dixie" before we can win again. What does she suggest this will do to help the party? Well, nothing, really. But somehow, this is going to lead to a resurgence of "the party of the Great Emancipator." Meanwhile, those loyal (but icky) southern GOP voters should go, um, where, exactly? Only Kathleen, apparently, knows for sure. But she does suggest that the party should face its inner, well, this...

(Sorry, but I could only find a clip that included the Olberdouche at the beginning.)

This is the essence of the "conservative" pet columnists like Kathleen that the MSM loves.  Nothing but shitting all over the base and kissing up to moderates, all the while pretending that this is the solution to the GOP's problems. But, there really isn't any solution offered, other than, "Hey, let's get rid of those rubes who I don't care for." And then, what? All your elitist buddies suddenly become "staunch conservatives" while the "bitter clingers" you've just told to fuck off do...what? Sit at home? Form some impotent third party?

But of course. It all makes sense, now. Either one of those options would help "conservative" Kathleen's schoolgirl crush, now wouldn't they?

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:38 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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