September 09, 2009

Al Franken Can Draw A Map*

This is apparently fucking news.

Al Franken, the Senate's newest member, may be best known for his comedic talent as a former member of Saturday Night Live. But he's now capturing attention for a decidedly less funny talent: drawing the U.S. map from memory.


Seriously?  That's impressive?  I've been able to do that since the third grade.  I mean, I guess I'm glad to know he has something to fall back on considering he is incapable of being funny or intelligent. 

I wonder if he has any other mundane "talents" he'd like to broadcast to the world.  I bet he's awesome at peeing sitting down and getting the cock all the way into his mouth.  He also seems to have an a amazing gift for making people change the channel. 

I mean, is that the bar?  That's the bar for a story to make the news, having the barest knowledge of American geography?  I was pretty fucking tight at the home version of Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego but I don't see anybody writing a wire story about me.

Fuck's sake.  Senator Al Fucking Franken can draw a map of the United States.  FROM MEMORY!  HOLY FLAMING BOOGER FUCK! 

How about this:  If you can't draw one, you don't get to be a member of the "Greatest Deliberative Body On Earth." 

More like the Greatest Degenerate Body on Earth.
* - I don't fucking understand why this pushes my buttons so hard but man, it pisses me off.  Its like that fucking retard from Mad TV saying, "look what I can do" and flailing around randomly except THAT was funny. Al Franken is (and has been) just sad and fucking useless. And he's a FUCKING SENATOR, one of the 150 most powerful people on the fucking PLANET.

And then I think, I can't be a senator because I've a few youthful indiscretions and some mild mental illness but for some reason being an unfunny scab on an already unfunny SNL decade doesn't disqualify someone who's contribution to human culture can be summed up in one tired, played out sound bite.

The more I read and see and hear the more I think I actually SHOULD run for President in 2016 and get every blog that is sympathetic to back me so I can get just one minute of face time on FNC so I can speak some truth to America about how utterly, depressingly pathetic our political class is.  To tell them, "hey, you CAN have better."

I'd propose that we don't elect anyone to office that we wouldn't want working in the cubicle next to us and by that standard, there are very few people I'd vote for.  Hell, if I owned a small business I wouldn't hire Obama to be my fucking PAIGE and he's the most powerful man on Earth.

Fucking useless, retarded, impressed-by-shitting-their-own-pants degenerates.  It is a disgusting world where I have to be "led" by people I wouldn't want selling me a used car.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 06:32 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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