June 26, 2008
Looks like there's some stupidity brewing up in the Great White North. Thankfully, at least it doesn't have anything to do with banning excerpts from Mark Steyn's books this time:
Calgary should consider banning new drive-thrus, two aldermen say -- a suggestion that received a chilly reception from some drivers Wednesday.
In a city trying to put pedestrians first and cars last, blocking new drive-thrus from being built makes sense, said Ald. Brian Pincott.
"We've got to start designing and building our city for people and drive-thrus are not about people, they're about cars," he said.
Uh, yeah. And the last time I checked, those of us who don't live in Pixar movies understand the fact that people drive those cars. Dumbass.Of course, anybody with more than a couple of firing neurons can see where this is all coming from:
Ald. Druh Farrell backed the idea.
"We're making huge strides away from our auto focus," she said. "I think we need to look at all sorts of means to reduce our carbon footprint, and this is one of them."
Someone should come up with a drinking game for this sort of thing where whenever someone mentions a "carbon footprint," you chug a bottle of something and then throw that bottle at their head.
Both aldermen said banning new drive-thrus would drop carbon emissions from idling cars that wait in line, while Pincott said it would improve communities by making people talk face-to-face instead of through a speaker.
Right. Because we've all had such deep, life-changing experiences when we walk into a burger joint and talk face-to-face with the person behind the counter. My "Why, I think I will have fries with that" epiphany of 1999 was a real turning point in my life.
If you read the whole thing, you'll find a number of people quoted who don't think this is a good idea, including one who has a rather salient point about people not really wanting to, uh, walk around outside in Calgary nine or so months out of the year, for some reason.
June 25, 2008
The host committee for the Democratic National Convention wanted 15,000 fanny packs for volunteers. But they had to be made of organic cotton. By unionized labor. In the USA.Damn those greedy industrialists for only producing goods when there is a market for them. You see, this is why we need Barack Obama. However, I think even liberals will agree that the real crime here is that they were planning on giving out fanny packs. I'm from a place where people still think mullets are rockin' and I know that's a fashion no-no.
Official merchandiser Bob DeMasse scoured the country. His weary conclusion: "That just doesn't exist."
***Thanks for the link, Pilgrim! Make sure to check out the rest of doubleplusundead to see what we're cookin' up.
June 23, 2008
June 22, 2008
Well, now, thanks to the magic of the internets, you can watch real-life, serious, professional teevee journalists talk about whether or not some screaming hippie waste of skin who calls herself "Dumpster Muffin" is safe perched hundreds of feet in the air above a tree.
(Via Zomblog and Michelle Malkin.)
By the way: I moved to Berkeley in August of 1994, and I lived there until a week before September 11, 2001. I probably would have died of a massive anger stroke had I stayed a week longer. And it's a good thing I didn't own any guns or chainsaws while I was there. I'm just saying is all.
June 20, 2008
The tree group's protest targets UC's plan to cut 44 trees to make way for the athletic center. The trees offer a welcome patch of open space on the densely developed campus, and at least one of the trees dates from the 1800s, [attorney for the stinky leftists Stephan] Volker argued.
The first tree-sitters clambered into the oaks and redwoods Dec. 2, 2006, as 75,000 football fans filed past to attend the Big Game against Stanford. About two dozen protesters have rotated in and out of the trees since then, occasionally tussling with police, campus security and hostile football fans. Campus police have made about 100 arrests and issued more than 200 citations.
UC took several steps to remove the tree-sitters, including obtaining a court order, erecting a pair of fences to hamper the delivery of food and removal of waste, and periodically removing the protesters' backpacks, guitars, blankets and other gear.
I've got to say that I really like the idea of taking away their guitars. You just know those were being used to create some really shitty hippie jam songs about loving trees and how the Earth is our mother.Anyway, there's been some action up there recently, including a legal ruling that both the university and the hippies are claiming as a victory, and two days of work crews dismantling the platforms the stupid human wastes of space have been occupying. I mention all of that to bring you this nugget:
Workers and police were pelted several times with human urine and excrement thrown by tree-sitters Tuesday, Mogulof said.
In one of several tense moments Wednesday, a basket with two workers was lowered by crane to the trunk of a tall tree on top of which a screaming young woman was perched on a small wooden platform about 100 feet in the air.
The woman, identified by sympathizers as Dumpster Muffin, screamed and violently shook the precarious perch. The crane backed off, and the woman raised her hand in the air in a sign of victory.
That's right. A screaming woman, living in a tree, whose name is Dumpster Muffin. I honestly don't know how I lived in that town for seven years without going on a bloody killing spree.Update: Photos of the dismantling by zomblog. (Via Nice Deb in the comments.)
June 03, 2008
Things like, I shit you not, turning your car off at traffic lights or stop signs. Our doofus reporter is from Manhattan, and doesn't drive his eeeevil GMC Yukon (which he tells us he feels oh so guilty for owning) much, and just thinks that is a swell idea! The greenie douchebag the reporter interviewed even has a cute acronym for SUVs, GSP's (gas sucking pigs), ain't that just a, er gas? Because I can just imagine NYC drivers maintaining their patience and waiting for some hippie sitting at the light trying to start up his car as the light goes green...
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