December 30, 2008

Stupid hippies

Looking to ward off hippies from settling in your town? It may be as easy as setting up a municipal wi-fi network:

HIPPIES LIVING in the tiny town of Glastonbury claim that a new wi-fi network is responsible for a spate of health problems.

Glastonbury, which used to be a mecca for Christian pilgrims looking for King Arthur, has now been largely taken over by New Age hippies who think that it is a place of great healing energies.

That was, until the town set up a £34,000 project wi-fi network on an experimental basis. Apparently wi-fi jiggers about with your chakras and breaks ley lines, which makes you sick.

To counter the bad karma they have surrounded the masts with orgone generators to clean the energy up, but despite claims that the generators can fix the bad energy of a nuclear powerplant they seem to be unable to deal with the terrors of wi-fi.

Perhaps a drum circle would be more effective.  Or, I know, the power of love.  Like, yeah, maaaaaaaaaaaaan.


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December 29, 2008

Yet Another Example Of Liberal Policies Making Things Worse

Seattle intentionally didn't salt the roads in order to appease Mother Gaia (I think Ace may have also mentioned this, but I'm not sure). Well, what's happened? Monster trash buildups usually indicative of a trash collector's strike.

But piles and piles of trash linger on curbsides across parts of Seattle where garbage trucks haven't been able to reach for more than two weeks.

The good news is that some collection resumed over the weekend, although the garbage glut continues in many areas.

"Our garbage area is stinkier," Beacon Hill resident Lucia Kahsai, 24, said Sunday, referring to the area in her townhouse where she stores her trash. "We've given up taking our garbage outside."

"I mean, it is looking like civic hell out there," joked Tim Tapping, 59, a software engineer in Maple Leaf who pointed to the lids on his streetside cans, which were floating on top of overflowing refuse.

Icy roads Saturday still prevented many 9-ton garbage trucks from entering some Seattle neighborhoods in the higher elevations, such as those in West Seattle and Maple Leaf, as well as areas in Shoreline, Renton, SeaTac, Burien, Bellevue, Sammamish and Snohomish County, officials said.

"A lot of people have missed service over the last couple of weeks," Seattle Public Utilities spokesman Andy Ryan said.

"It will take us time to get back to a normal schedule."

Some service resumed Saturday and Sunday. Garbage trucks hauled away trash Sunday in Lake City, Northgate and other parts of Northeast Seattle and in South Seattle.

But other areas were still waiting.

In the Maple Leaf neighborhood near Northgate, residents said they were told their garbage would be picked up this weekend.

But with roads still icy Saturday, no garbage trucks were seen in the area, residents said.

Maple Leaf residents who were particularly unlucky were those such as Tapping on the north side of Northeast 90th Street. People north of that line get garbage pickup on Thursdays. Those south of the line are on Tuesdays.

In a way, the photo is an appropriate metaphor for what liberal policies create.

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Somehow, I Wonder If Sarah Palin Will Be Blamed For This As Well

This dude learns first hand that polar bears play a rough game of tag.

The man eventually managed to take refuge in a neighbouring truck which was unlocked.

His back and head were covered in more than 100 deep scratches where the massive claws had managed to rip through his thick winter clothes and padded coat.

Barrow is the northernmost town of the United States, 340 miles north of the Arctic Circle.

Polar bears are frequently spotted around the area.

They are the world's largest land predator, and are the only animals that actively hunt humans.
Adult bears grow up to 10ft tall and can weigh 95 stone.

They are predominantly carnivores, eating seals, fish, reindeer, seabirds and even whales and baby walruses.

Environmentalists have warned that there could be as few as 22,000 left in the wild, and that they face extinction because the ice they live on is melting.

The wildlife group Polar Bears International says only one person has been killed by a polar bear in the U.S. in the past 30 years.

In Canada eight have been killed and in Russia, 19.

A spokesman said: 'In all instances in which a human was killed by a polar bear, the animal in question was undernourished or had been provoked.'

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December 27, 2008

The death of ManBearPig?

There's a great column in today's Telegraph which suggests that this year may actually be the "turning point in the great worldwide panic over man-made global warming."  One can hope...

Ever shriller and more frantic has become the insistence of the warmists, cheered on by their army of media groupies such as the BBC, that the last 10 years have been the "hottest in history" and that the North Pole would soon be ice-free – as the poles remain defiantly icebound and those polar bears fail to drown. All those hysterical predictions that we are seeing more droughts and hurricanes than ever before have infuriatingly failed to materialise.

Even the more cautious scientific acolytes of the official orthodoxy now admit that, thanks to "natural factors" such as ocean currents, temperatures have failed to rise as predicted (although they plaintively assure us that this cooling effect is merely "masking the underlying warming trend", and that the temperature rise will resume worse than ever by the middle of the next decade).

And that's the problem. This has become a cult, and its most devoted followers haven't just drunk the Kool-Aid, they're swimming in it.  Besides, there's still money to be made from the crisis.


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December 22, 2008

Leave It To The Scandis To Mix Sex And Forestry

It appears as though the filthy, perverted ice chunkers wanted to see if boner pills would work work on trees.

Why? Who knows? I don't speak Scandi. But the results are, *ahem* stiffening our resolve to "experiment" longer and harder*ahem*.

For a recent project, researchers in Umeå in northern Sweden from the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences (SLU) concocted a potent fertilizer featuring arginine, a common amino acid known for its power to improve sperm production and blood circulation in the sex organs, the Västerbotten-Kurrien newspaper reports.

The project was headed by forestry professor Torgny Näsholm, who created a fertilizer with strong concentrations of arginine.

He then added the mixture to the soil around several young spruce trees and measured the effects.

Näsholm discovered that trees which grew in soil laden with the performance enhancing fertilizer developed stronger root systems than other spruce trees.


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December 17, 2008

Enjoy the snow, bmac!

Global Warming in Sin City.  What, did The Inconvenient Goof sign a contract for a revue version of his stupid slideshow?

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December 16, 2008

Something To Ponder As I Scrape The Global Warming Off My Car This Morning

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December 14, 2008

Baby, it's cold outside (and we're all gonna die)

It's been cold this year, so you know what that means...

Ironically, 2008 is on pace to be a slightly cooler year in a steadily rising temperature trend line. Experts say it's thanks to a La Nina weather variation. While skeptics are already using it as evidence of some kind of cooling trend, it actually illustrates how fast the world is warming.
That's right. If it's hot, it's an indication that Global Warming is a problem. If it's cold, that's even stronger evidence of Global Warming.


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December 09, 2008

Environmentalist FAIL

Polish environmentalists found several trees felled and stacked and a few more with notches cut in them.  In order to stop the raping of the earth, the Holy Seers of Gaia contacted the authorities in order to put a stop to the illegal logging operation.  Police arrived, and quickly found the culprit...a bunch of beavers building a dam.

A police spokesman said: "The campaigners are feeling pretty stupid. There's nothing more natural than a beaver."


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