September 28, 2009

John Kerry: Super Genius

The now Senior Senator from Massachusetts (and now most worthless Senator from Massachusetts) reminds us why we should be perpetually grateful he never won the White House (warning: NY Times Link).

"I don't know what 'cap and trade' means. I don't think the average American does," Kerry told reporters. "This is not a cap-and-trade bill, it's a pollution reduction bill."

I have no words.

For now. I have to go and fix my wife's grandma's television, so I should be good and angry later.

Thanks to Alice.

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September 24, 2009

Hey Green Goofs! Why Don't I Just Use Your Che T-Shirt Instead?

Seriously, how fucking stupid can you be to propose something as buttfuckingly retarded as this?

"At what price softness?" said Tim Spring, chief executive of Marcal Manufacturing, a New Jersey paper maker that is trying to persuade customers to try 100 percent recycled paper. "Should I contribute to clear-cutting and deforestation because the big [marketing] machine has told me that softness is important?"

He added: "You're not giving up the world here."

Toilet paper is far from being the biggest threat to the world's forests: together with facial tissue, it accounts for 5 percent of the U.S. forest-products industry, according to industry figures. Paper and cardboard packaging makes up 26 percent of the industry, although more than half is made from recycled products. Newspapers account for 3 percent.

But environmentalists say 5 percent is still too much.

Felling these trees removes a valuable scrubber of carbon dioxide, they say. If the trees come from "farms" in places such as Brazil, Indonesia or the southeastern United States, natural forests are being displaced. If they come from Canada's forested north -- a major source of imported wood pulp -- ecosystems valuable to bears, caribou and migratory birds are being damaged.

And, activists say, there's just the foolish idea of the thing: old trees cut down for the briefest and most undignified of ends.

"It's like the Hummer product for the paper industry," said Allen Hershkowitz, senior scientist with the Natural Resources Defense Council. "We don't need old-growth forests . . . to wipe our behinds."

The reason for this fight lies in toilet-paper engineering. Each sheet is a web of wood fibers, and fibers from old trees are longer, which produces a smoother and more supple web. Fibers made from recycled paper -- in this case magazines, newspapers or computer printouts -- are shorter. The web often is rougher.

So, when toilet paper is made for the "away from home" market, the no-choice bathrooms in restaurants, offices and schools, manufacturers use recycled fiber about 75 percent of the time.

But for the "at home" market, the paper customers buy for themselves, 5 percent at most is fully recycled. The rest is mostly or totally "virgin" fiber, taken from newly cut trees, according to the market analysis firm RISI Inc.

Big tissue makers say they've tried to make their products as green as possible, including by buying more wood pulp from forest operations certified as sustainable.

Hey, why don't you squidfucking shitheads give up one or two of your Che or Obama T-Shirts and wipe your own collective asses with them? Maybe then they would be useful. Or, better yet, what about Obama's autobiography?  How many trees died for that shitheap?

Oh, and fuck you if you think I am going to give up comfort when it comes to wiping my ass in exchange for saving a tree. Those trees were planted by Johnny Appleseed's unholy orgy with Mother Gaia just for my pleasure, and for you to tell me that I would be better off sticking a pinecone up my ass is the height of arrogance, and just plain stupid. I don't see you and your quiche eating granola fuckers giving up your expensive clothes, cars, or houses to help the environment, so why should I give up my comforts?

Gah! Now I just want to go out, set a pile of tires on fire, and use car battery acid to extinguish it and see you weep.

Fucking idiots!

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September 23, 2009

Not That I Would Encourage Petty Internet Vandalism, Vol. 2

But the green goofs at the Baltimore Sun (Who Cares That The City Was Nuked in "Sum Of All Fears?" Nobody will miss it anyway) seem determined to attract only the most discriminating and colorful responses for their "Eco Sin" confessions.



Thanks to Veeshir

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