July 21, 2008

Because I'm Uncreative

And because Al Gore is an unbelievably stupid twat:


Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:16 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 17, 2008

Al Gore: Clinically Retarded

In an interview with Katie Couric (which I had to stop watching or have an aneurysm) the Goracle states:

I think we all know after 35 years that just drilling more oil doesn't lower gas prices.
Especially horrifying was the conspiratorial lean in, wink wink posture he took while saying it. People actually listen to this barely-literate buffoon? God help us.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 05:54 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 10, 2008

You just can't win

For God's sake, what doesn't cause Global Warming these days?

GOODBYE air pollution and smoky chimneys, hello brighter days. That's been the trend in Europe for the past three decades - but unfortunately cleaning up the skies has allowed more of the sun's rays to pierce the atmosphere, contributing to at least half the warming that has occurred.
I guess that means all those Prius-tards are actually harming Mother Earth. Way to go, dickheads.


Posted by: Sean M. at 11:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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July 09, 2008

I Just Found Out How To Monitor Methane Gas From Cows

It seems as though Manbearpig   Algore is getting traction with his alarms about global warming. Scientists in Argentina are busy collecting cow gases to study methane gas.

Experts said the slow digestive system of cows makes them a key producer of methane, a potent greenhouse gas that gets far less public attention than carbon dioxide.

In a bid to understand the impact of the wind produced by cows on global warming, scientists collected gas from their stomachs in plastic tanks attached to their backs.

The Argentine researchers discovered methane from cows accounts for more than 30 per cent of the country's total greenhouse emissions.


I would hate to have to change that can.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:32 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 08, 2008

Dear Liberals: Trivia Time*

Explain to me how it is an environmental disaster to drill for oil on a few thousand acres of Alaska while it is an environmental delight to build thousands of square miles of solar panelling all over the continental United States.

Bonus:  Explain why a massive shift in albedo in solar-panelled areas would be superior to drilling in arctic regions.

* - I suppose this is just a rhetorical device to invalidate the retarded "environmental damage" argument used to preclude drilling in ANWR. 

Obviously, there are only two explanations to oppose drilling:  The terrifying specter of Global Warmenizing or a socialist agenda that feels that America is Just. Too. Prosperous. thankyouverymuch.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:52 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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July 07, 2008

The Moron's guide to going green

In this day and age, just because you're a drunken Moron doesn't mean you can't also be a sanctimonious prick-scold:

Call it hedonistic environmentalism. Or maybe just eco-conscious imbibing.

Either way, those who want their dirty martini to be a little cleaner are increasingly pouring organic spirits into their glass.

"I was shopping at the farmers market, using fresh produce in my cocktails and really loving that high-end cocktail experience," said Allison Evanow, who in 2005 created one of the nation's first entirely organic spirits, Square One vodka. "But that whole organic kitchen philosophy hadn't really ever gotten to the bar. Once I had the idea in my head and did a little bit of research, I finally said, `This looks like it's an unmet need.'"


To be certified by the U.S. Department of Agriculture as an organic alcohol, the spirit must be made of ingredients grown on certified organic farms and processed in a certified organic distillery. That means no pesticides and fertilizers on the grains and no nitrogen or other chemicals in the distilling process.

Organic distilleries even have strict rules about what types of pest control they can use to keep rodents or bugs out of grain warehouses.

"We try to tread lightly on the earth, if you will," Evanow said. "I'm not super-uber green, but I try to do what I can. Being organic means that we're being nicer to the earth. And to be certified, you can't fake it by putting citric acid or glycerine in that bottle to mask that off flavor. There's a lot of quality involved in being organic."

Actually, I don't really feature the Val-U-Rite swilling crowd paying extra to get eco-booze, seeing as how it probably doesn't get you any more wasted than the discount stuff. But hey, if helping Gaia is as important to you as getting your swerve on, it's out there.

Next in the series: The benefits of hiding your hobo corpses in the compost heap.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:30 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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July 06, 2008

The post I wish I could write in defense of Cindy McCain

Camilla Long has a small gripe about Cindy McCain:

It all came to a head the other week when the putative First Fembot bowled through London on her way back to America from Vietnam. (Clearly, heiresses don’t worry about their carbon footprint — just as long as it’s a diamond-studded, snake-skin-heeled stiletto mega-stomp.)
Now, normally I would write something like: "Cindy McCain will start caring about her carbon footprint when Al Gore starts caring about his."

But sadly, the McCains can no more charter a plane back from Vietnam than they could charter a plane into the Grand Canyon. 


Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 10:05 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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July 03, 2008

Darwin, buddy, let's talk

I know you were probably hung over after your 150th anniversary bender, but you can't start letting things like this slip by. I mean, Greenpeace hippies chaining themselves up at a power station, and you let them go?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:26 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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