January 31, 2010

I Do My Research On Taxes, Polling, And Healthcare By Reading "Highlights" And Talking To Myself. So What's The Diff?

Seriously? Fucking seriously?!?? The UN can't be this fucking stupid, can they?

In its most recent report, it stated that observed reductions in mountain ice in the Andes, Alps and Africa was being caused by global warming, citing two papers as the source of the information.

However, it can be revealed that one of the sources quoted was a feature article published in a popular magazine for climbers which was based on anecdotal evidence from mountaineers about the changes they were witnessing on the mountainsides around them {and I read Spank Magazine for my research into health care-ed}.

The other was a dissertation written by a geography student, studying for the equivalent of a master's degree, at the University of Berne in Switzerland that quoted interviews with mountain guides in the Alps.

The revelations, uncovered by The Sunday Telegraph, have raised fresh questions about the {shitty-ed}quality of the information contained in the report, which was published in 2007.

What. The. Fuck.? Yes, these fuckers are that stupid. And lazy. I really cannot believe what I just read. The UfuckingN basically went to Barnes & Noble, pulled a "Hiking" Magazine off the shelf, backed up their research by talking to the cleaning lady at the pizza parlor, and called this "settled science"? 

Well, then fuck settled science. Fuck the UN. Fuck East Anglia. And fuck algore. Fuck all of them with a rancid meat javelin coated in hurty sauce. Those fuckjuggling fuckbags of fistfucking fraudulent fucking fuckity fuck fucking sold a shitfucking load of people on a fruitfucking scam, pushed fucking legislation, and fucking reaped their own fucking rewards, on a fucking piece of research that wouldn't make it out of a fourth grade history class? Fuck this! Fuck it forever with fire. And fuck all of them.

Fuck their research. Fuck their findings with the funny pages. And fuck anybody who still sides with them. This shit needs to be called out, and the hoaxers stripped of any work permit greater than being the backup elephant fluffer at the zoo.

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January 28, 2010

The Convergence Of Stupid & California (BIRM)

What the fuck? Seriosuly, what the fuck is this shit? Fuck it with a tire gauge. Are they fucking trying to kill every business in that state?

CARB is proposing to require every repair dealer to check the inflation of every tire during repair to improve mpg for all vehicles which, in theory, is meritorious.

However (the) regs. CARB’s pushing through (released this week and subject to a 15 day comment period) ... provides that the only times that consumers may decline a check and inflate service—they can never decline the service if it’s offered for free—is when they are charged for services AND if they can PROVE (with DOCUMENTATION!) that they’ve had their tires checked and inflated in the last 30 days, or if they WILL do so within the next week. It is unclear, but possible, that CARB could take enforcement action against the consumer if they don’t follow through with their promise?!

Note that even the Department of Consumer Affairs opposed the last draft of these rules—letter attached (and I’m guessing these amendments won’t remove their opposition). CARB’s not messing around with these either—the potential penalty for violating the regulation is at least up to $1,000 per violation and six months imprisonment. The enforcement section referred to by CARB states that a violation of the regulation shall be “deemed to result in an emission of air contaminants,” potentially leading to even harsher penalties.


I don;t fucking care that this law is still in draft status. It should be killed immediately.

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January 25, 2010

How YOU can save the environment!

And, no, not by anything like recycling, using environmentally friendly lights or appliance, solar panels, or switching to a lower-emission vehicle. 

You see, in case you hadn't heard, you're Killing The Planet™ by, well, existing.  However, even you can help to save the planet - and, no, not by ceasing to exist (although that would be super helpful).  If you condemn yourself and your government to poverty and continuing economic backsliding, you can be part of the solution!

Continuing global economic growth "is not possible" if nations are to tackle climate change, a report by an environmental think-tank has warned.

The New Economics Foundation (Nef) said "unprecedented and probably impossible" carbon reductions would be needed to hold temperature rises below 2C (3.6F).

Scientists say exceeding this limit could lead to dangerous global warming.

"We urgently need to change our economy to live within its environmental budget," said Nef's policy director.

Andrew Simms added: "There is no global, environmental central bank to bail us out if we become ecologically bankrupt."

None of the existing models or policies could "square the circle" of economic growth with climate safety, Nef added.

Burried at the end of the article is, however, a true gem from the Tom Clougherty, director of what appears to be a not-lame think tank, the Adam Smith Institute:

"There's only one good thing I can say for the Nef's report, and that's that it is honest. Its authors admit that they want us to be poorer and to lead more restricted lives for the sake of their faddish beliefs."


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Glaciergate, Volume Whatever Is After "Metric Assload"

Fuck these guys. Fuck them with their robust procedures. Fuck them with defective discount grade ass bleach. Fuck them for what they have done to real science because of their actions. And fuck the glaciers and polar bears, because I am a crabby old bastard, and because of shit like this from the "scientists":

“We thought that if we can highlight it, it will impact policy-makers and politicians and encourage them to take some concrete action.”

SOOOOO.... let me get this straight: lying and fraud is OK, so long as it helps spur an agenda and policy position with which you agree, results and evidence be damned? Good to know. So I guess the next time I want a policy advanced, I should just randomly draw some fancy squares on a piece of toilet paper and publish it, and it'll all be kosher, right?

You know, I no longer am ashamed to admit that while I had a hunch that a lot of the glaciergoatse grabassing that the AGW crowd was pushing was bullshit, I never had proof. Now I do. So thank you, Green Goofs. Thankfucking you from the bottom of my cold, money grubbing, gas guzzling heart.

Oh, and here is the thank you card I made just for the Green Goofs


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January 23, 2010

More From The Eco-Idiots

Apparently, the left is starting to advocate eco-terror. You know, for their Goddess Gaia.

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January 19, 2010

Getting shit wrong does not in any way undermine your credibility.

For example, if I were to say, "An asteroid is going to smash into the earth tomorrow, and all life on the planet will be wiped out," and, subsequently, no asteroid hit the earth and life on the planet continued as normal, as long as I said, "Woah, when I said tomorrow, I meant in 300 years," it'd be cool.


Well, such logic may not apply to us peons, but it abso-fucking-lutely applies to climate scientists.  Why is that, you ask?  You shut your fucking mouth, that's why!

The vice-chairman of the UN's climate science panel has admitted it made a mistake in asserting that Himalayan glaciers could disappear by 2035.

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) included the date in its 2007 assessment of climate impacts.

A number of scientists have recently disputed the 2035 figure, and Jean-Pascal van Ypersele told BBC News that it was an error and would be reviewed.

But he said it did not change the broad picture of man-made climate change.

The issue, which BBC News first reported on 05 December, has reverberated around climate websites in recent days.

Some commentators maintain that taken together with the contents of e-mails stolen last year from the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit, it undermines the credibility of climate science.

Dr van Ypersele said this was not the case.

"I don't see how one mistake in a 3,000-page report can damage the credibility of the overall report," he said.

"Some people will attempt to use it to damage the credibility of the IPCC; but if we can uncover it, and explain it and change it, it should strengthen the IPCC's credibility, showing that we are ready to learn from our mistakes."

The claim that Himalayan glaciers could disappear by 2035 appears to have originated in a 1999 interview with Indian glaciologist Syed Hasnain, published in New Scientist magazine.

The figure then surfaced in a 2005 report by environmental group WWF - a report that is cited in the IPCC's 2007 assessment, known as AR4.

An alternative genesis lies in the misreading of a 1996 study that gave the date as 2350.

AR 4 asserted: "Glaciers in the Himalayas are receding faster than in any other part of the world... the likelihood of them disappearing by the year 2035 and perhaps sooner is very high."

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January 15, 2010

Danny Glover: More Science-y Than The Scientists

You know, I have a difficult time mocking fools like Danny Glover, because I was always taught  to treat the "special" people on this planet with compassion and tolerance, especially when they make statements such as this.


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January 14, 2010

Remember: Follow The Money!

In a development as shocking as me laying waste to a toilet after a plate of Three Mile Island Wings, the Stimulus Bonanza may, just may, have been going to some shady characters, especially one of the cats involved in the Manbearpig Hoax.

“It’s outrageous that economic stimulus money is being used to support research conducted by Michael Mann at the very time he’s under investigation by Penn State and is one of the key figures in the international Climategate scandal. Penn State should immediately return these funds to the U.S. Treasury,” said Tom Borelli, Ph.D., director of the National Center’s Free Enterprise Project.

I know, shocking, isn't it? I mean, who would have ever thought that an administration that is a moneygrabbing and redistributionist scam based on lies and illusions is sending cash to a guy who helps pepetuate and defend a  moneygrabbing and redistributionist scam based on lies and illusions?


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January 12, 2010

Global Warming Hits Texas

I mean, how fucked up is it when the turtles are fleeing the water to stay warm?

Freezing temperatures this weekend resulted in about 50 green sea turtles showing up on area beaches, said Donna Shaver, director of the Padre Island National Seashore’s turtle recovery program.

Of the 49 turtles, most of which came ashore near Port Aransas, nine have died, Shaver said. A total of 354 have been found along the Texas coast, she said.

The cold stuns the turtles, which renders them motionless, and they float to the surface. This has been the largest such event locally since 1980, Shaver said.

The turtles will be housed and rehabilitated in warm swimming pools at Port Aransas’ Animal Rehabilitation Keep and at the Texas State Aquarium until waters warm and it’s safe to return them to the Gulf. This could take several weeks, Shaver said.

And for no reason whatsoever, I bring back my tribute to Manbearpig.

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Hot, cold, it's all warmering between friends

If this article about predictions from one of the world's most respected climate scientists (yes, I giggled, too) is correct, it's about to get cooler. For the next thirty years or so (with my emphasis):

The U.S. National Snow and Ice Data Center (NSICD) agrees that the cold temperatures are unusual, and that the world's oceans may play a part in temperatures on land.

"Has ocean variability contributed to variations in surface temperature? Absolutely, no one's denying that," said Mark Serreze, senior research scientist with NSIDC. But the Center disagrees with Latif's conclusions, instead arguing that the cold snap is still another sign of global warming.

Ah, yes. So a thirty-year-long cold snap, or "little ice age" is, well, you get the idea.

Oh, and check this out:

Many parts of the world have been suffering through record-setting snowfalls and arctic temperatures. The Midwest saw wind chills as low as 49 degrees below zero last week, while Europe saw snows so heavy that Eurostar train service and air travel were canceled across much of the continent. In Asia, Beijing was hit by its heaviest snowfall in 60 years.

And as for the cold weather?

"This is just the roll of the dice, the natural variability inherent to the system," explained Serreze.

Uhhhhhhh...I'm no respected climate scientist who gets to fly all over the world to lavish conferences about global warming on private jets, but the whole "natural variability" thing might be something you might want to focus on. Like how the planet's climate kind of, oh, I don't know, naturally varies between hot and cold over the years. Without our help. Maybe.


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January 04, 2010

Stupid Fucking Hypocrite Hippies

Seriously, why is it I am not surprised that this shit happens?

Vermont likes to promote itself as a verdant, wholesome state with picturesque black and white Holsteins grazing on hillside pastures. But the postcard image hides an ugly truth. Santiz Cruz was one of 1,500 to 2,000 immigrant workers, most lacking legal papers, who toil invisibly behind the scenes in the Vermont's beleaguered dairy industry, working 80-hour weeks and living in total isolation, often sleeping in the very barns with the cows they tend.

"Vermont's dairy farms depend on migrant workers," said Brendan O'Neill, coordinator of the Vermont Migrant Farmworker Solidarity Project. "But there is no dignity in performing important work for that amount of time and having to hide yourself, never seeing the light of day. These people live and work in the shadows."

Even when faced with tragedy, the workers stayed in the shadows. Santiz Cruz had 80 extended family members and friends working on nearby Vermont farms, but according to O'Neill, they feared gathering to hold a memorial service for the youth because of the possibility of prosecution and deportation. It was left to a handful of workers' rights advocates to hold a quiet candlelight vigil in his honor.

As a further grim reminder of how dispensable laborers are to modern agribusiness, there is some question about how the young man's remains will be returned home for burial--an effort that could cost as much as $10,000. The Vermont Workers' Center has started a memorial fund and is working with the Mexican consulate in Boston and the office of Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., to get the body back to Las Margaritas.

Fuck you, Ben & Jerry! Fuck you with a hacky sack soaked in patchouli. You fucking hypocrites are no fucking better than the mega corporations you trash and attempt to cripple when this shit is going on in your own back yards. I swear, if another turtlefucking treehugger of terrible taste fucking tries to lecture me on anything, I will set their tye dye machine on fire and use spare tires as fuel.


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