Pixy?

The river has now reopened to the public, but police are reminding people to be extremely cautious when choosing where to swim in the Top End.

Police say locals and campers saw the attack happen and it has traumatised the small community.

Superintendent Dean Moloney says the man had been warned by police previously to stay out of the water.

"Out of respect to the family I do not want to go into any details about the trauma that was caused," he said.

"Police would just like to remind people to think twice and take extreme caution when choosing to swim in any of the NT Top End's waterways.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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In Europe, where more people use bicycles to get around, having hammered cyclists is indeed dangerous. And the Polish Courts are going to law down the law.

Under a law passed in 2000, anyone riding a bike under the influence of alcohol faces a fine or up to two years in prison, depending on the level of their intoxication.

Many courts here apply the stricter penalty and the average sentence is 11.5 months imprisonment.

Such a state of affairs has been criticised by both the prison service and some judges.

Jaroslaw Sielecki, a 37-year-old judge from western Poland, called it absurd and draconian, adding that it can drag whole families into poverty.

He argued that intoxicated cyclists should be treated like drunken pedestrians, who face a fine rather than jail, as both use their own muscles to achieve motion.

The Constitutional Court, however, ruled that cyclists use public roads and are considerably more dangerous because of the speed they can travel.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:57 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Cuffy has this ad up,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:48 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Umm...you might want to rethink that one.

There's just one problem with the 90 percent "statistic" and it's a big one:

It's just not true.

In fact, it's not even close. The fact is, only 17 percent of guns found at Mexican crime scenes have been traced to the U.S.

What's true, an ATF spokeswoman told FOXNews.com, in a clarification of the statistic used by her own agency's assistant director, "is that over 90 percent of the traced firearms originate from the U.S."

But a large percentage of the guns recovered in Mexico do not get sent back to the U.S. for tracing, because it is obvious from their markings that they do not come from the U.S

Thanks to MCPO.

Posted by: eddiebear at 04:33 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Guess who?

For several years now a small research group has been working on some challenging problems in the areas of neural networking, natural language and autonomous problem-solving. Last fall this group achieved a significant breakthrough: a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster.

Since then progress has been rapid, and tonight we're pleased to announce that just moments ago, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE) was switched on and began performing some initial functions. It's an exciting moment that we're determined to build upon by coming to understand more fully what CADIE's emergence might mean, for Google and for our users. So although CADIE technology will be rolled out with the caution befitting any advance of this magnitude, in the months to come users can expect to notice her influence on various google.com properties. Earlier today, for instance, CADIE deduced from a quick scan of the visual segment of the social web a set of online design principles from which she derived this intriguing homepage.

Sure it starts with cute Panda Bear Myspace pages but I think we all know where it ends.  Nuclear armageddon.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:05 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The Iranians are heading to North Korea to watch Kim Jong-il play with his missile.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Namely, is Dolly Parton a Lesbian?

"We're absolutely totally honest, open and comfortable with each other," Parton says in the new issue of AARP magazine. "We've been accused of being lovers. We do love each other, but we've never been like that." (For the record, Parton has been married to her retired businessman husband, Carl Dean, for 43 years!)

As for her future with Hannah Montana, Parton recently revealed that, contrary to reports, she is not in the upcoming Hannah flick. She said that producers initially asked her if she'd be interested in revisiting Aunt Dolly for the big screen, but the character never made it into the script.

No matter. Parton still has plans to stay popular with the Miley Cyrus generations. She has a children's book hitting stores in June and plans to put out a series of children's CDs. Also on the drawing board: possibly hosting a children's TV show a la Pee-wee's Playhouse.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:58 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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The Norks are assembling their missile on the silo right now.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:50 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Voting along strict party lines, the Texas State Senate passed legislation today that would require people to provide photo ID before voting.  Go ahead and guess which party was for it and which was against it.  Yeah.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:38 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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First, it was the chimp that tore off the face of that lady in Connecticut. Then, it was the chimp in the Swedish Zoo that stockpiles and stores rocks to throw at visitors. Now, we have more monkey business*

First, a monkey kills its cruel owner with a coconut.

The animal – named Brother Kwan – found the work tedious and strenuous but Mr Janchoom refused to let him rest, dishing out beatings if he refused to climb trees.

It is believed that the monkey eventually snapped, and targeted his owner from a high branch with one of the hard-skinned fruits.

Mr Janchoom, from the province of Nakorn Sri Thammarat in Thailand, died on the spot after being struck by the coconut, according to reports in a local newspaper.

The dead man's wife said that the monkey had "seemed lovable" when they bought him for £130.

News of the attacks comes after scientists disclosed this week that a chimpanzee at a Swedish zoo became so annoyed at being gawked at by tourists in a zoo that he started creating weapons to hurl at them.

"I was surprised because teaching techniques on using tools properly to a third party are said to be an activity carried out only by humans," he said.

The study focused on the observation of seven female long-tailed macaques and interaction with their off spring at a colony of monkeys near Bangkok in Thailand.

The practice of teeth flossing doubled and became significantly more elaborate when they were in the presence of infant monkeys, suggesting that they were attempting to teach the technique to the young.

"The study is still at the hypothesis stage," said Professor Masataka.

"We would like to shift our focus to the baby monkeys to check whether the mothers' actions are effectively helping them learn how to clean their teeth."

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:11 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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For even suggesting we tax health benefits.  What a fucking monster.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:11 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Oh wait, no I'm not. But it turns out I probably should be. Science says so! (emphasis and link mine):

Looking for happiness—it's family-friendly communities for some, tropical paradise or the rugged West for others. A survey of Americans' well-being, conducted by Gallup in partnership with Healthways and America's Health Insurance Plans, gives high marks to Utah, which boasts lots of outdoor recreation for its youthful population.

[...]

And the bluegrass state of Kentucky was 49th, with Mississippi 48th on the list.

[...]

Rep. Harold Rogers' district in eastern Kentucky's coal country and New York Rep. Jose Serrano's district, which includes the distressed neighborhood of the South Bronx, had the lowest well-being scores.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:30 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Shocking, that is, if you're extremely naive:

Nearly half of college freshmen who drink alcohol spend more time drinking each week than they do studying, suggests a survey involving more than 30,000 first-year students on 76 campuses who took an online alcohol education course last fall.

Gwendolyn Jordan Dungy, executive direct or of NASPA — Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education, says the findings surprised her because most literature describes the millennial generation as responsible, close to parents, focused on their careers and dedicated to service.

"Our hope is that this new finding will motivate (campus and community leaders) to join us as we redouble our efforts to de-emphasize the role of alcohol in college life," she says.

Posted by: Sean M. at 10:45 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Now let's completely change the country in every way imaginable. 

This is getting fucking ridiculous and we're over here fighting about what the word "fail" means.

I'll tell you what it means.

Permanent.  Democratic.  Majority.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:15 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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She was diagnosed with breast cancer.  After undergoing surgery on Monday, her doctor has given her and "excellent" prognosis for full recovery.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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One of Palin's biggest critics in Alaska during the 2008 election is getting a cushy job in the Obama administration:

Alaska State Sen. Kim Elton, one of the leading officials to pursue an investigation of Gov. Sarah Palin during the heat of the presidential campaign, has taken a high-level job in the Interior Department.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:42 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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RIP, Paul Harvey.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:14 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The headline, "Gleason: Pa. GOP may not back Specter," puts more emphasis on the may than I would like.

It's a start, though.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 05:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Weak.  I'd note that Philly mayor Nutter is slashing the Philly Police Department budget too, along with keeping the Philly PD from taking back control of the streets and cracking down on violent career criminals like this vermin.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:18 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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President Obama doesn't want NBA stars critiquing his basketball game, lest he become "nervous."

Everything is now officially newsworthy. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 10:42 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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