Five years and two months ago, my beautiful and patient (for putting up with me) wife became a mother, and thus earned the right to receive praise and gifting on Mother's Day in her own right. Beyond the beauty and brains my wife possesses, she also did something greater by bringing my daughter into the world: she gave me the greatest gift of all, the ability and responsibility to shape the world with the little blonde pack of dynamite I see sleeping on a cloud of teddy bears and stuffed whatevers in her room as I type this. She gave the me the greatest responsibility/power arrangement going, the responsibility to make sure that my daughter does indeed live Forever Young, as the song that (I shit you not) popped into my head the first time I was able to hold her.

While raising a child as a parent is tough enough, the outside influences brought about by dickfisting halfwit politicians and the damage they can unleash with their legislative juice jiggling can be disastrous to her future. As such, no politician who threatens her future should ever be allowed to hold power or office ever again, even if it is a Republican. That is why I have no problem seeing Bob Bennett go down in flames in Utah. That asshole voted to do things that will limit my daughter's future, and tell my wife that the gift she granted to me does not matter, so long as Senator Jocksucker J Jackfuck gets reelected and an airport named after him. That asshole and his supporters and allies to infringe upon the liberty and freedom my daughter received as her birthright for being an American. And he needed to lose his seat for that.

And to the RINOs, Bennettistas, Leftists, and assorted other gashgreeters who want to fuck with my family, let me tell you something:
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck You. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you across a dimension that does not yet exist with a color pattern I have never heard of. Fuck you for trying to hurt the most precious gift I have ever been granted. Fuck you for trying to tell the woman who granted me that gift that her labor was in vain and that the life she carried will be a servant of the State and the Greater Good. Fuck you for telling me that the responsibility and duty I have as a parent matters not to you. Fuck you for telling me that I should be ashamed and outraged by my voting pattern. Fuck you for telling me who I should and should not support for my own fucking good. And fuck you, simply because I hate arrogant fucking assholes who fucking think they know what is best for my family and me.

Fuck you, assholes, for telling me that my desire to see my daughter live in a future with as few limits as possible means less than reelecting a political hack who cares not about my family. What the fuckingly fucking fucked up fuckwhip of fuck do you fucking want me to do, you fucking limpwristed xylofucks of fuckloserdom, hand my life over to you? Fuck. And . No. Fuck that shit. Fuck it hard with the ramfuck of fuck. When I look in my daughter's room as she sleeps, I see the hope and innocence of a future generation that will cure the cancer that is going to lose to my mother. I see the hope and fearlessness of a future that will tell terrorists to fuck off. I see the hope and steadfastness of a future that will beat liberalism into the fucking ashpit of history, and you fucking want me to fucking feel bad about a "Purity Test"?

No. Fuck. Ing. Way, Fuckfister McFuckenstein.

Wait, maybe I am wrong. I do have a purity test. It is one where I hold my fucking elected leaders responsible for their attempts to fuck with my family. Is that too much for you, RINOs? If so, then get fucked with a flaming fuckzither on fuckstrength. For I will never apologize for wanting my elected leaders to do what they can to protect the liberty so fucking many people died to protect. Hear that, David Pantscrease Brooks? I. WILL. NOT. FUCKING. APOLOGIZE FOR WHO THE FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCKHAMMER OF FLYING FUCKBASKET I AM. I. WILL. NOT. FUCKING. APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING TO SEE YOUR BRAND OF TOXIC MODERATION WIN THE DAY. I WILL NOT FUCKING APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A CONSERVATIVE. And I will not fucking apologize for wanting to see any roadblocks in my daughter's future greeted (electorally and rhetorically) as if it were Hiroshima wondering what that grey plane was doing in the air on August morning.

So fuck you, handwringers. Fuck you for trying to do what you can to prop up the RINOSIS TOXICITIOUS strain that endangers us all. And fuck you for telling me I should feel bad for doing so. Get fucked with a rusty rake, and go to hell while you are at it. I owe it to my daughter and wife to urge you no less.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:42 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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