September 03, 2008

Everything sucks and we're all going to die...unless the Obamessiah wins

Some woman named Fatimah Ali, writing in a paper in our host's neck of the woods, opines that the country is slipping into Tom Joad territory, but, thankfully, has a cure for what ails us. I think you already know what—or who, I should say—that cure is:

Plenty of Americans would rather stay in their dream state than to recognize the poverty sweeping across the country, right here, right now.

Obama understands that people are suffering. Every week, prices go up at the supermarket, and people are unable to feed their families. It already is dark and stormy for millions, who can't even afford pencils, book bags and lunch money for their children.

But when Obama wins the White House, we may just see a revolution that can turn the tide and improve this nation for everyone, not just a select few.

That's right. When (not if) Obama takes office, all the nation's ill's will be swept away. Why, it's gonna be like we've gone from black and white, depressing Kansas to the colorful, magical land of Oz overnight! (Nevermind the fact that Dorothy wanted to head back to Kansas and the bitter people there, clinging to their guns and religion.)  The bottom line is the fact that when Obama wins, everything suddenly becomes magically delicious!

The main point, though, is that it'll be a revolution! Actually, even if Obama should—heaven forbid—lose, there'll be a revolution either way. It's just the difference between a peaceful, lovey-dovey revolution and the blood-in-the-streets kind of revolution. You see, I omitted the paragraph Ms. Ali typed right before the part I quoted above...

If McCain wins, look for a full-fledged race and class war, fueled by a deflated and depressed country, soaring crime, homelessness - and hopelessness!

I can see the new Obama campaign slogan now: "Change You'd Better Believe in, Whitey, Unless You Want Your Back Against the Wall!"  What an inspiring message that is.  Hope and Change on the one hand, a bloodbath of epic proportions on the other.  The choice is yours.

(Via Moron Central)

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:25 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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