October 30, 2008

Election Loss Narrative*

Well folks, we're almost there and we'd have to be pretty optimistic people to assume a McCain victory at this point.  That means The One will be President and I think it is time to start getting the narrative together for after the election.

See, I feel very strongly that once Obama is president he should be given a fair chance.  The exact fair chance that the left and media gave Bush for the last eight years.  I'd like to attempt to replicate that wonderful treatment every minute of every day for as long as the Messiah is leader of the free world.

So, the first thing we need is a narrative on Obama's win in the election.  Here are a few handy lines you can use in every fucking conversation about Obama that you have with anyone for the next several years.  Remember, only perpetual, annoying repetition can truly replicate the glorious fun it was to have liberals around during the Bush Administration.

Obama Stole the Election

Of course, under normal circumstances it would be impossible to predict such an action before the election is complete but I'm sure we can always use ACORN and illegal voters to justify asserting this no matter what evidence may come out to the contrary.  Remember, even after the New York Times certified the Bush victory in Florida, libtards still continued to call him illegitimate to this very day. 

The key to using this gem is to repeat it every time any Obama fan even mentions his name.  It need not be germaine to the conversation.  If you are disagreeing about his response to an international disaster and your opponent makes a good point you have no counter to, just remind him that Obama shouldn't be making these decisions anyway.  You'll have them pulling out their hair in no time!

Obama Bought The Election

After raising the most money ever in a Presidential election, it is clear that Obama would have lost by a large margin were it not for his massive war chest.  The liberal may counter by suggesting that his massive draw was a consequence of his popularity with the common man and had nothing to do with corporate domination of the political system.

Then you simply state that vast chunks of his money came from corporations (as much as any corporation can give to any candidate which is none), that he violated his agreement to use public financing, and that in any event, the majority of his online donations came directly from Osama Bin Ladin (this is factually true barring Obama disproving it according to the Sullivan Standard of Evidence Truthiness).  So really, you can easily claim that Osama Bin Ladin bought the election for him. 

Think how much fun saying that to an Obama cultist would be?  You get to do it for FOUR YEARS!

Obama Is in the Pockets of Big Business

Now, we can't assert he is in the pocket of Big Oil as easily as they did with Bush so it is important to associate him with other large, corrupt energy industries like the Agrifuel Industry.  I mean, he's got one of those douchebags on his staff!  Also, associating him with SubPrime lending corporations is key.  He loves those guys and they always have given him the reacharound.

Obama Is Hitler

Background checks on people asking innocent questions? Check.  A lack of any credible contrarian media?  Check.  Complete control over all branches of government?  Check.  Rabid, cultist followers that will use every avenue to silence critics?  Check.  Just keep repeating it until it becomes true.

Whenever any law passes, make sure to go on and on and on about how you we will all be in reeducation camps in the next few months.  Make it clear that you would say more but are afraid they are listening to you and don't want to be disappeared.  If they ask who "they" are, just look around for a few moments and then lean in whispering, "the VLWC."

Obama Doesn't Care About White People

It is critical that every time a disaster of any magnitude effects White People, this be brought out.  Tornado hits a trailer park in Kansas?  Where was Obama?  Make sure to attach pictures of Obama reading books to kids or talking to rich friends during the crisis to magnify the effect that he doesn't give a shit about the disaster and hates white people.  When he counters that he is half-white and his family is mostly white, just respond that "I hear your refer to yourself as the first black president, not the 44th white one."

It is often helpful after that to call his supporter racist.

Update: In case I wasn't clear yesterday, I quote Classical Values:

Everybody vote. 

Don't give it to him.  Make him steal it.

* - I'm only about 47% serious here.  The last thing we want to do is become the retards we've been combatting for the last eight years but I am 100% serious about giving Obama as much support and leeway as the left gave Bush for the last two terms.  Fuck him and his cult.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:33 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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