April 08, 2010

Dear Cancer

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you for eternity with a neutron bomb shoved up your uncircumcised cocktruck. Fuck you for all you have wrought. Fuck you for damaging too many innocent lives. And fuck you for trying to take my mom and my best friend's two year old daughter.

Oh, and fuck you for thinking you could wash us away like a disease at the dick clinic in a college town. Fuck you for thinking the people I know and love won't go down without a fight. Fuck you for thinking we would just roll over. And fuck you, just because I feel like saying it.

You thought you had an easy mark, didn't you? You thought you had an easy victory, didn't you? You thought we would melt like a pulled pork sandwich in the sun, didn't you? Well, guess what, you fuckingly fucked up fuckjacket? You fucking failed. You fucking have fallen onto my fuckchart of fury for this, and you will not get anybody I know without the fight of YOUR fucking life.

So get fucked, cancer. Get fucked with a Sticky Bismarck along the way.

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