YOU CAN HAS.
Chuck.  Can I call you chuck?  Of course I can.

I read your top ten list and, while I was immediately disappointed at the lack of Boutros Boutros Ghali jokes and Oprah/Uma comparisons, and while you did make a lot of painfully stupid, cliched points, I don't really want to talk about that.

See, we've all known you needed an intervention for years but noone was brave enough to broach the subject but it is time.

What the fuck is up with that pony tail? 

Seriously, you look like a 45 year old larper who's going to child  molestation classes.  I mean, we give your stupid ass a cape and a fucking conversion van and voila!  Instant 23rd level Fighter/Pederast.  Its enough to make me think that all of the talents you claim to have are really just dots on a character sheet.

Chuck, just because you spend the 25 xp Killgore gives you per post on skill points in "animated gif production" and "alchemy skill" doesn't mean you know fucking shitall about those things in real life.  You can claim to be a saxophonist all you want but we all know you just have 15 points of Lute playing on your ratty, smudged character sheet.  Of course, because of your pony tail we all know what kind of "lute playing" you tend to prefer.*

In closing, I'd like to offer a list of 10 follow up questions about your defection to the loony left:

1. Is Killgore Trout a gentle lover or does he tug on that pony tail like the reins of a horse that's charging for a cliff?
2. This is a two part question:  Michael Mann is a bitch and go fuck yourself.
3. When RSM inevitably eviscerates you on his blog later today, are you going to masturbate while you cry in your shower or just try to scrub off the VRWC nanobots?
4. Now that you have all these years to look back on, doesn't teenage suicide look a lot more appealing?
5. To quote Detective Somerset, "I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go, "Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!"? Yeah. Do you guys do that"
6. When is the Mary Mapes/Charles Johnson victory tour?
7. Could you please make a list of all of the stupid blog catch-phrases you invented so I can have a handy list of things not to use when I post?
8. Fuck you.
9. Eat shit.
10. Can I have a demo tape of you playing the saxophone?  I need something to listen to while I shit.
    

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:17 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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