April 30, 2009

Jay Carney Just May Be The Busiest Man In DC

I mean, keeping Joe Biden away from a microphone is a tough enough job. But when Scarnton Joe says something this fucking stupid?

Vice President Joe Biden said Thursday that he would not recommend taking any commercial flight or riding in a subway car “at this point” because swine flu virus can spread “in confined places.” A little more than one hour later, Biden rushed out a statement backing off.

...That contradicted more restrained advice from President Barack Obama and the federal government - and the last thing the White House wants to do right now is shut down the airline industry and big city subways out of mass panic.

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ is this guy stupid.

Once again, I want to go and punch in the face any and all of the "Axis of Defeatism" douchebags ostensibly on our side who thought Sarah Palin was not a good choice for VP.

 

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April 29, 2009

Kathleen Parker And The Rest Of The RINOs Must Be In Competition For The Stupidest Article Praising Obama

I mean, this is worse than a 13 year old girl's diary crush on the cute boy in school. I can just imagine her with newspaper cutouts of The Messiah on her Trapper Keeper, writing "Mrs. Obama" over and over on a sheet of paper.

As a recovering obsessive-compulsive {and the literary equal of a Tiger Beat reader}, the past 100 days have been a torture of quantification {wait! I thought torture was no longer allowed!}. How’s he doing SO far? Is he the change we’ve been waiting for? Is Barack Obama really a centrist, as so many (including I) had hoped? Or is he one of them dadgum fascist-Marxist-commie-Moozlems?!{define centrist}

Obama is who he said he is—a pragmatist. It just so happens that pragmatism under present circumstances demands/justifies/warrants what are rather socialist solutions {so that's centrism?}. The President is in the unique position of being able to say with face straight and heart true: I’m not a lefty ideologue. It’s just that Republican leadership has left us in the sort of economic free-fall that only Big Government can rescue {No. I just used a crisis to my advantage}.

Thus, the first 100 days have been brisk, if entirely too long {you can say that again}. And action-packed. Obama has done so much, so fast, that our heads spin{like in The Exorcist?}. If this is not a tactic, it should be. He seems blessed with the immaculate timing in which events don’t just open a window, but nuke the building. In breezes Obama with his team of carpenters {But are they Union Card Check carpenters? And what are they building? A dog house for BO?}. While Americans were distracted with lost jobs and decimated savings {yeah, the minor stuff as opposed to his moobs.}, Team Obama re-landscaped the American Dream {wait! I thought he was a carpenter. So he's a landscaper as well? Sign him up!}with spending and future debts that are beyond our comprehension {yeah, but it's Skittles and pixy dust, so it's all good}. Now comes the perfect storm of avian, swine and human flu, just in time for a national health plan. Timing really is everything {yeah. Just ask that guy in Mexico who caught the flu after shaking Barry's hand.}.

Hoookay! So far, Parker concedes that Captain Cool basically is just a guy who is lucky enough to have events fall into his lap. So much for being Teh Awesome!!!1!1 But, as always, she's on a roll. Shall we proceed?

Here’s the thing about Obama: He’s a completely new deal {I still have my receipt. Can I trade this deal in and get store credit?}. We’ve never see this character before {which character is that? Is he now a comic book hero as well. Man! How can t he guy even sleep between all of his jobs?}. Each day is a new play and we’re not quite sure how this particular narrative arcs {I knew I hated theater, but I never knew why until now.}. All of that makes us a bit uneasy, as it should {wait! I thought he was calming or something.}. But my truest sense of Obama is that he thinks hard about each issue and that his mind is open {so long as Axelrod or the Teleprompter tell him what to say and do}. He is still finding out how to be president {sic}, listening instead of talking; watching and measuring, as children from disrupted childhood {sic} learn to do {I thought he claimed his campaign made him qualified from day one and that he was so awesome he could overcome everything}.

The task for conservatives is not so much to oppose the president, but to help him see {yeah, Palin's swearing in on 1-20-13}. Show him a better idea and he will consider it {and ignore it. Remember "I won"?}. I’m not sure Republicans are temperamentally capable of working with Obama, however{as opposed to all of that work and cooperation Democrats gave to Bush?} . His style confounds them. He’s the left-handed pitcher; the river that flows upstream; the slight fellow who fells the giant with a slingshot. And he never breaks a sweat. Who IS this dude? {I'm sure you'll tell us after you finish sending him a pair of your soaked knickers to show your love for him}

After 100 days, I think I’ve figured it out {Oh! Do tell!}. Obama is Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. (Muhammad Ali to the more recently born.) Always above the fray, he floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee{So long as he can avoid hitting his head on Marine One's door}. So far, the Obama presidency is a rope-a-dope {and Ali lost the title two different times to inferior opponents. Your point being?} 

I am slackjawed after this glaring display of stupidity by a woman who wants you to believe how smart she is. What is scary is that after this piece, what will David Brooks do to top this?

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Guess who?

Someone wants to make nice with a country that hasn't been exactly friendly with us over the past few years...

"I don't have much doubt that the present tentative plan of our government and the Syrian government is to re-establish diplomatic relations when it's propitious to do so," he told The Associated Press.

"I don't see any impediment to it. It will be an orderly process...I wouldn't be surprised if it happens this year."
All I can say is "Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back." Or, alternatively, "The first time tragedy, the second time farce."

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April 28, 2009

Solar Powered FAIL, New Orleans Style

Some guy dumps his girlfriend, his job, and a ton of cash to build a solar-powered car and drive it across the United States for some reason or another. All well and good, even if it is stupidly naive. But this story achieves FAIL status when he left the Manbearpigmobile unattended in The Big Easy.

But an hour after he parked on a busy, well-lighted French Quarter street, someone broke into the van and stole passports, laptops, credit cards, cash, a digital camera and a portable hard drive.

Despite the estimated $10,000 loss, da Luz seemed in high spirits the next morning, describing the break-in as a "dent" in his ecological barnstorming tour. He insisted that he was still enjoying his first visit to the Crescent City. After discovering the theft, da Luz and an assistant from the Netherlands trotted to a nearby tavern to "drown their sorrows."


Fucking stupid hippies. Just for that, here is a musical tribute.


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Obama Voters Prove Yet Again How Stupid They Are

This story can probably be repeated throughout this great land, but I saw this on STL TV last night.

Apparently, some dipshits have been buying up "commemorative" Obama coins to celebrate the era of Hope And Change. Predictably, these folks are being taken for a ride by scam artists.

Independent mints around the country began offering so called official commemorative coins before the president was sworn into office.

Sheila Forrest jumped at the chance to be one of the first to own an exclusive limited edition Obama coin.

Forrest explained, "We thought we had to have it like everybody else it was exciting so we wanted a piece of history."

Forrest's family has owned Afro World in Normandy for 39 years. She now sells all sorts of Obama souvenirs. But she thought the coins were an investment.

"This is it, and I'm quite disappointed of course, it wasn't what we expected to have received," explained Forrest.

Clay Teague is a money expert. He's not the kind that analyzes the Dow. But rather he's a numismatist, specializing in coins and currency at Scotsman Coin and Currency in Creve Coeur

Teague said, "It does seem like it's a scam." I would advise folks to stay away from it. If they want to get into something go to the U. S. Mint's website or research on their own but look into something that might actually have some value to it."

Forrest paid more than $35 for the coins with shipping and handling.


Normally, I would feel bad for people getting scammed, but not this time.

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Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA)

There's word the switch is finally happening today.

Big heaping grains of salt required, of course.

Update: I've taken away the "grain of salt," as the DC rumor mill has told me this about 3-4 times since the post.

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April 27, 2009

Mwahhahahahahahhahahahah!!1!!1*cough*hahahhahahhahah!!!

Yeah, fuck you Conde Nast. Fuck you. I hope you choke on the taste of your own fucking fail.

Reflecting problems the magazine sometimes had with staying on topic amidst the biggest financial story in years, the same issue carried Alaska governor and former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on its cover.

Again, fuck you, fucking losers.

On a marginally related note, I took my daughter to some play area this weekend, and the computer for the grownups wouldn't allow me to access DPUD, claiming that it violated "profanity", "crude and sexual references", and references to pure bacon awesomeness*. I wonder why.

*I may have made the bacon part up. The blocking actually did happen. Fucking fuckfaces.

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Gee, No Wonder David Brooks Is So Eager To Pleasure The Messiah

Notice something about the people mentioned in this article about who gets to attend super secret dinners with these movers and shakers?

Seriously, I have rambled on and on about how to Beltway Yachtsmen Republicans, being on the A-List to the top flight dinners and parties matters more than anything else. Sadly, this story proves it.

Now, I just wonder if Kathleen Parker, Allahpundit, Peggy Noonan, George Will, David Frum, and David Gergen are jealous, and what they will do to get on the list as well.

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April 24, 2009

With All Of The Bad News Out There, This Makes Me Feel Better

I usually don't like kicking people when they are down, but I will make an exception for cockholsters such as Ted Rall.

“My job was finding new talent -- comic strip artists, columnists and writers of puzzles -- to syndicate to newspapers,” Rall writes on his blog. “Considering the circumstances, I enjoyed remarkable success. ... I am proud of what I accomplished.”

In that position, Rall helped bring to newspaper pages such strips as Tak Toyoshima's "Secret Asian Man," the first daily comic about Asian-Americans by an Asian-American cartoonist, Keith Knight's "The Knight Life," and Dan Thompson’s "Rip Haywire,” among others. He recruited Signe Wilkinson to draw "Family Tree," and oversaw the transition of R. Stevens’ Web comic "Diesel Sweeties" into daily newspaper version (which has since ended).

“So if you're a creator who was hoping to pitch me something, I'm sorry -- I can't help you anymore,” he adds. “If you need a cartoonist, a writer, or an editor, or anything else, please drop me a line. I need work, and fast.”

Again, fuck you, Ted Rall. Enjoy playing the martyred "artist" role.

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How Do They Type With That Cock In Their Mouth?

When I think honest, unbiased reporting, I think... AP:

Obama quickly, confidently adapts to presidency.

Yeah, no missteps at all so far.  DVD's are universally known to be the ideal gift for the leader of our closest allies. 

It didn't take long for Barack Obama — for all his youth and inexperience — to get acclimated to his new role as the calming leader of a country in crisis.

And there you have it.  This is the meme.  Don't believe your lying eyes about all the truly retarded things that have happened so far.  Everything is going great.  Fucking great. 

I'd say read the rest but it gets way, way, way worse as it goes on and I don't own stock in puke bags so there is no upside for me.

The Associated Press:  We Love Presidential Cock

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Well, Count David Brooks As Back In The RINOs For Obama Fold

Dammit! And I thought he was officially in the Heartbroken RINOs For Obama Club.

The big lesson for the Obama administration is that the American people will continue to support its agenda as long as they think it is competent. It was not automatic that an administration led by a 47-year-old man with little Washington experience would run a professional, smoothly functioning operation. Yet he has. The administration has unveiled a dazzling array of proposals with a high degree of efficiency and managerial skill. This has inspired confidence in his team, if not in the government as a whole.

This is so ridiculous, I have lost the ability to chew food.

Seriuosly, what the fuck is wrong with the Yacht Club Republicans and their never ending support of The Messiah? It's one thing for performance artists such as Allah to do what he does just to get attention and traffic, but these fools are worse than the Kossacks. I mean, at least the moonbats are on Obama's ass for some things. Brooks and Parker? Not so much.

I almost wonder if when the RINOs do deign to lower themselves to see how the Bitter Clingers feel about them, they dig in just to stick a thumb in the collective eyes of the Flyover People. I mean, how else can you explain a drumbeat of pieces such as this piece of shit?

Oh well, I guess the threat of being taken off of Barry's Super Secret Blackberry's BFF List is what is in play here.

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April 23, 2009

Roll call time

Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius is suffering from the same lack of judgment in association as Ron Paul did with his acceptance of support of Stormfront, only more somore...

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Talking the talk

Silly rabbit, energy conservation is for teh proles:

To mark Earth Day, President Obama traveled to Iowa Wednesday to visit a plant that manufactures the towers for wind turbines. Mr. Obama touted the need for energy independence and warned, "All of us will have to use energy more wisely."

But a reporter with CBS calculated that the president's flights on Air Force One and Marine One consumed at least 9,116 gallons of fuel, which he could have been saved by giving his Earth Day speech at the White House. Of course, there aren't any wind turbines at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

That's okay, though, because I'm sure the carbon pumped into Mother Earth's fragile atmosphere by Obama's photo op was offset by his pure, radiant goodness. And pollution-eating unicorns. Yeah.

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Well, The Twat Is Slowly Joining David Brooks In The RINO Heartache And Disappointment Crowd.

And that party room rented for this gathering is beginning to exceed the Fire Marshall's occupancy limit.

Seriously, Mr. Twat, were you surprised that Obama would bring about show trials of his opponents?

While the comments, complete with links to Jane Hamsher's site and the like, are comedic gold, the Twat's worries are as silly as usual.

Obama’s promises of unity and change could have meant – could still mean – a departure away from the tit-for-tat use of law as a weapon of politics of the previous generation. If however it turns out to mean an escalation of the use of law, be warned: this is one escalation that will not soon be de-escalated.

Give me a fucking break, Mr. Twat. Either you knew all along that Obama would and could break his promises and were willing to play the Useful Idiot Game, or were so blinded by his moobs, Klingon Wife's Level 5 Swordsmanship, and Harvard Law Somethingorother, that you willingly allowed yourself to ignore the hazzard lights ahead of you. Either way, fuckface, you are a fucking moron, and deserve to be nothing more than a guest poster over at  Kos. I seriously hope that selling your soul for that Newsweek article and MSNBC reacharound were worth it, because you have proven yourself once again to be stupider than the snowbillies and bitter clingers you despise and want to keep away from your yacht club with George Will and his yellow pants.

 

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TARP's Damage To The Economy Was As Predictable As A Blizzard Following Manbearpig

Take a wild guess what is happening to tax receipts since TARP and Unicorn One descended upon us.

March is supposed to be a big month for tax receipts from regular corporations whose years end in December. In March 2008 (go to Table 3 on Page 2 at the link), $32.6 billion poured in. This year? I’m not kidding: $3.4 billion. For the fiscal year thus far, corporate income tax collections are down almost 57%.

Through March 31 of last year, according to Treasury’s Daily Statement, “Individual Income and Employment Taxes Not Withheld,” which are largely payments made by the self-employed, partners, and those in S corporations whose income flows through to individual tax returns, are down about 13%, or almost $15 billion, from a year ago. These not-withheld taxes are what drove last April’s all-time collections record, which is definitely not going to repeat itself.

It’s clear that quite a few ordinarily industrious people “went Galt” months before the Tea Party movement even came into existence. As a result, fiscal 2009’s deficit could come in closer to $2 trillion than to the Obama administration’s estimate of $1.75 trillion, or even the Congressional Budget Office’s $1.85 trillion.



Hmm....

 

***Note:

Ummm...., I accidentally linked to a story intended for The Hostages, Part Deux. The link is fixed.

I think.


 

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April 22, 2009

Public Access TV+ Prank Calls+ Serious Issue=Awesome!



Ironically, this is still relevant today.

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April 21, 2009

moar housing stuff!

Detroit councilman walks from home

Why did he walk? Because he was upside down on his mortgage. Because the rate was about to readjust. Because he *can*. It's not illegal to simply walk away. All that will happen is that your credit gets trashed. But look where he is now:

"About five months ago, the Kenyattas moved to a rented condo on the city's east side. It has three bedrooms, four baths, a whirlpool bath, finished basement and garage."

Not precisely sleeping in the street.

Then there's this:

"Kenyatta said that because his mortgage payments were made on time and he was not in foreclosure, he did not qualify for any relief programs through his lender."

I've ranted about this before, people think that they can just have the contracts revised because they want them to.  Yeah.  No. 

You know, I have to say, there's part of me that understands that this is the cold blood, rational response. Why not simply walk when the consequences aren't outweighed by the costs?  Hell, the anarchist in me thinks everyone should do this, just to watch the system burn.  But.  Well.  We do have a real world example of the consequences, at least if this is true:

In Detroit, the median sales price for a home is now a pathetic $5,800, down more than $66,000 from seven years ago.

I'm actually terrified to check to see if that is accurate because holy hell.  (Yes, I know that's median, not mean or average, but still).  There you go.  There's what happens.

Think we'll ever hear a word about how Detroit has been under control of the Dems for as long as I can remember?  Didn't think so. 

Funniest.  End.  Of.  Civilization.  Ever. 

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April 20, 2009

Leave It To Janeane Garofalo To Bring Her A Game To The Stupid Olympics

Not only is she a crank, but a liar as well.

In an interview with the Village Voice yesterday, Garofalo discusses the apparent disconnect between her politics and the show's, saying, "At first I passed on it because of the right-wing nature of a couple of the writers."

Eventually, however, Garofalo relented. "There's only one or two right-wingers in the whole show, in the writer's room. There's nobody else whose opinions reflect that in the cast or the crew. And then midway through when I was working there the main right-winger left the show anyway," she says.

Here, she is referring to series creator Joel Surnow. In the interview, Garofalo is complimentary of Surnow, however she draws the line at set visits from his pals, Rush Limbaugh and Lynne Cheney.

"When Rush Limbaugh visited the set, and when Lynne Cheney visited the set, I refused to have my picture taken with them or meet them or anything," Garofalo tells the Village Voice.

OK. So, how did El Rushbo take to those comments?

"The last time I visited the set of 24, Garofalo had not been hired to appear in the series. She was not there, she was not a member of the cast the last time I visited. I wouldn't have wanted to meet her anyway.

"The last time I visited the set, Kim Raver was still in the cast and CTU was the primary "location" of the show. This current season, seven, has been in the can since last summer or fall and I have been nowhere near the 24 set for any shoots for this season, which is this lunatic's first season," Limbaugh added.

OOPS.

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April 19, 2009

Well, I don't mind as long as I get the shoes out of it

So. It looks like there's going to be another push to force online retailers to collect state and local sales taxes.

Now, technically, online shopping is not tax free.  Most states have some type of "use tax" in place wherein it's up to the consumer to pay the amount owed like a good little citizen.  You can imagine how frequently that's done.

I would venture that 90+% of all consumers consider shopping elsewhere to avoid taxes to be entirely fair.  There is a major shopping outlet near me and there are buses that come in from NY state all weekend.  Why?  There's no tax on clothing in PA.  There's no way in hell that those people are turning around and submitting the taxes anyway.  I was headed up to Canada last summer to visit the BFF and there were huge lines coming into the States from Canada as well as huge signs up reminding people that $200 was the limit before having to declare goods.  Why?  Because half of Ontario was heading into Watertown to go shopping since the Canadian dollar was worth more.  No VAT?  Higher exchange rate?  Oh hell yes, people were crossing the border. 

Ages ago when the dinosaurs roamed and I was getting my undergrad in political theory, I was studing Italy and Italian politics (which btw AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA oh my lord Italian politics).  I remember reading a study that determined that Italy had an incredibly vibrant economy that wasn't reflected on the books.  Why?  No one wanted to pay the taxes. 

I can see things heading that way now.  The nickle and dimeing and the state going after each and every cent it can suck up is going to take a toll.  People will find a way to go off the books, they absolutely will.

That's why the Tea Party movement is striking a chord.  It's people going "Enough. This is enough."  Will anything come of it?  We'll see.  I am a bit cynical about any practical effects but time will tell.

Also, I don't care how good the food and shoes and porn stars elected officials are, I'd really rather not be Italy, thanks. 

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The Latest Stupidity From McCain's Daughter

Not only is Meghan McCain going to be a guest clucker on "The View", thanks to her willingness to bash and antagonize her own side, but, shockingly, she is getting love from The HuffPo crowd. And in a shocking twist, the Huffers completely miss the mark when it comes to her and the Republican Party.

Speaking to an affectionate crowd of Log Cabin Republicans on Saturday evening, Meghan McCain ridiculed the party her father headed this past election, declaring that "old school Republicans" were "scared shitless" of the changing landscape.

...

The Senator's daughter, who has quickly become something of an iconic figure in the gay conservative community since the end of the election, took repeated shots at the GOP for its antiquated mores.

 "I feel too many Republicans want to cling to past successes," said McCain. "There are those who think we can win the White House and Congress back by being 'more' conservative. Worse, there are those who think we can win by changing nothing at all about what our party has become. They just want to wait for the other side to be perceived as worse than us. I think we're seeing a war brewing in the Republican Party. But it is not between us and Democrats. It is not between us and liberals. It is between the future and the past."


So Meghan McCain scares "old school Republicans"? Dude, get a fucking clue. Rockefeller Reublicans such as McCain, Allahpundit, David Brooks, George "Demon Denim" Will, Peggy Noonan, Kathleen Parker, and David Gergen, to name a few, share her views and contempt for most of the new, more conservative GOP. They are the old school, you fucking ball tickler. They and their ilk loathed Reagan and the new coalition he crafted. They would rather get a tee time with David Axelrod or an invite to Sally Quinn's cocktail parties than dare go against the Beltway establishment and stand up for *gasp* conservatism. That is why they, at best, muted their support for her father in 2008 if they didn't endorse the dipshit in office now.

Once again, some fuckstick on the left just doesn't understand his opposition, and beclowns himself in the process. Once again, maybe just a smidgen of research into who the "old school" Republicans are and were might be in order. But that might be asking too much for a guy who seems to care more about making sure that the proper amount of foam is in his espresso in the morning that doing some research.

And since Meghan seems bound and determined to win praise for the people who called her father every nasty name in the book just a few months ago is sad and disturbing. And what is even better is what the Beltway Party Circuit will do to her when they no longer have a need for her. I want to see her come crawling back when Hope and Change throws her under the bus.

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