What A Difference A Year Makes

I was just a few days short of my fifth birthday when this pile of shit hit the airwaves on this date 31 years ago.

Now, contrast the defeatism, negativism, and resignation from July, 1979 to this from July, 1980:


And this is the money shot, if you ask me. Think of the hope, the optimism, the belief that America's better days are ahead of us.

As your nominee, I pledge to restore to the federal government the capacity to do the people's work without dominating their lives. I pledge to you a government that will not only work well, but wisely; its ability to act tempered by prudence and its willingness to do good balanced by the knowledge that government is never more dangerous than when our desire to have it help us blinds us to its great power to harm us.

The first Republican president once said, "While the people retain their virtue and their vigilance, no administration by any extreme of wickedness or folly can seriously injure the government in the short space of four years."

If Mr. Lincoln could see what's happened in these last three-and-a-half years, he might hedge a little on that statement. But, with the virtues that our legacy as a free people and with the vigilance that sustains liberty, we still have time to use our renewed compact to overcome the injuries that have been done to America these past three-and-a-half years.

First, we must overcome something the present administration has cooked up: a new and altogether indigestible economic stew, one part inflation, one part high unemployment, one part recession, one part runaway taxes, one party deficit spending and seasoned by an energy crisis. It's an economic stew that has turned the national stomach.

Ours are not problems of abstract economic theory. Those are problems of flesh and blood; problems that cause pain and destroy the moral fiber of real people who should not suffer the further indignity of being told by the government that it is all somehow their fault. We do not have inflation because -- as Mr. Carter says -- we have lived too well.

The head of a government which has utterly refused to live within its means and which has, in the last few days, told us that this year's deficit will be $60 billion {hell, now that is nothing more than a waitress sandwich between Chris Dodd and Ted Kennedy's bloated corpse-ed}, dares to point the finger of blame at business and labor, both of which have been engaged in a losing struggle just trying to stay even.

High taxes, we are told, are somehow good for us, as if, when government spends our money it isn't inflationary, but when we spend it, it is.

Those who preside over the worst energy shortage in our history tell us to use less, so that we will run out of oil, gasoline, and natural gas a little more slowly. Conservation is desirable, of course, for we must not waste energy. But conservation is not the sole answer to our energy needs.

America must get to work producing more energy. The Republican program for solving economic problems is based on growth and productivity.

Large amounts of oil and natural gas lay beneath our land and off our shores, untouched because the present administration seems to believe the American people would rather see more regulation, taxes and controls than more energy.

I am at a loss to add anything more. All I can do is think of my daughter, her future, and how fucking terrible her life could be under the leviathan of Big Government and the obverse of the true hope and optimism of 30 years ago. I could. But that is not me. I am not a defeatist. I am not a pessimist. I do not believe that the future will be shittier than today. And I do not believe that the scrawny little five year old who waits up for me when I am working my new shit shift work so that she can present a painting to me that she did in her own hand will live in a worse world than I grew up in. I cannot. And I will not. And to those who think consigning the most precious and valuable treasure I ever held in my hands to a life of suckitude for the greater good is the way to go, I have this response:
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you for now and five minutes ago with the fucking fuckmuscle of fuck from a fucking freewheeling fucklion. Fuck you for your mishandling of my country. Fuck you for thinking you know better than I do. And fuckingly fuck you fuckscissors style for trying to take away my daughter's Birthright of Fucking Liberty And Freedom with your gas station goatsegram view of healthcare and taxes.

My daughter was given the beautiful gift of the Birthright of Fucking Liberty when she was born an American citizen. She was born with the hope and optimism that being a citizen of the greatest country ever entailed. She was born with the ability to do and be whatever she fucking wanted to be and do, so long as she worked at it, merely by being a free person. And she was born free of crippling bureaucracy and bureaucratic bunglefucking because she was born in America.

But you, you fucking refugees from the FAILBoat of Fuck and Malaise believe that that is a bad thing. You fuckposers believe that all but your Friday Night Fuckbuddies should suffer the equality of shittiness that socialism entails. And you fucking believe that if I stand up to you and your attempts to steal my daughter's birthright, that I am the bad guy? Well fuck you. Fuck you Pear Of Agony style with the fucking Fuckflame of Freedom until your fuckhole becomes and endangered species.

No. Fucking. Way. I will not countenance that pile of shit. I will not allow 1979 and Malaise to come back. I will not allow the forces that wish to eliminate the spirit of 1980 from being triumphant. I will not. And I cannot. For the sake of my daughter's future, I want to look with hope to the future, not look back at the failure of 1979. That is why the Democrats need to (electorally) be run out of town and replaced with people who wish to protect the freedom and birthright my family has simply by being American.

So fuck you, 1979 Malaise Muckfuckers. Stay in the past and allow the spirit of 1980 to save us all. Go to the fuckhell of fuckitude, and get fucked with failure on the way out.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:26 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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