May 11, 2009

I hereby nobly volunteer myself

Since I think we can all agree that Steele's tenure as RNC chair has been, how to put this, less than fabulously successful, I hereby nobly volunteer to take over.  You're welcome. 

Here is my list of the Top Ten Ways in Which Alex Will Be Better As RNC Chair:

1.  100% more likelihood of girl on girl action
2.  Way, way, way better shoes
3.  Nearly a 1:1 probability of making Chris Matthews cry on air
4.  The chance to hear the phrase "Swilling Val-U-Rite and killing hobos" on one of the Sunday talkshows
5.  All proper respect will be shown to Darth Cheney and Bolton's Mustache
6.  Actual conservative ideas will be articulated
7.  Chance to see a chart of the deficits and the RNC Chair saying "Dude.  Seriously.  Dude."
8.  High probability of Olbermann's head going all Scanners
9.  Will respect the Eleventh Commandment in public
10. Strong probability of showing up on This Week wearing a Zombie Reagan shirt.

I think my case speaks for itself.

Posted by: alexthechick at 02:22 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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