August 17, 2010

Coffee Nazis

I have to admit, I'm with her.
It's funny, I was just thinking about this yesterday.
Some English prof wanted a multi-grain bagel and the Starbucks baristool wouldn't serve her unless she said "no cheese or butter".

I hate those tools. I rarely go in because I don't like their coffee, but when I go to get espresso they refuse to sell me a "double espresso", I have to ask which of their sizes is a double and then ask for that.

Fuck them.
Their fucking sizes make no fucking sense, Venti is 20, 'grande' means "big", tall means "tall" and "short" is a unit of measure for beer and dicks.

I think their coffee tastes like what might have been good coffee that's been left on the burner for 8 hours but I refuse to go in there anymore because they demand I use their conventions and I don't like being herded.

I hate Seattle nazis.

Via Boortz

Posted by: Veeshir at 10:17 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 161 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I usually order a large at my Starbucks (when I've got a gift card). I caved this morning, though. It was haste that felled me - shame is my name.

Posted by: TheUnrepentantGeek at August 17, 2010 10:35 AM (Dz5CW)

2

The only thing I order at Starbucks (and this only recently, as my sis-in-law, who is a certifiable java maniac, okayed it, and said I should give it a try ...with the understanding that some Starbucks do a better job than others), is an Americano. In the small cup. Which I point to (as I always have to ask anyways because I can't keep their damn definitions straight, so I just point) to avoid any confusion. That two shots in a small cup of hot water.

...its the one thing they do that don't taste like burnt coffee to me.

...not nearly as good as the one my sis-in-law brews, understand. (Or even what pours from our own coffee making apparati: heh, new word.) But "good enough".

Posted by: davis,br at August 17, 2010 11:40 AM (uCShA)

3 A friend "treated" me to Starbucks once. The coffee tasted like burned dirt in water, strained through a sweatsock. I could not finish it. Never went back.

I feel for the lady, though. The "barista" was a jerk.

Posted by: LC Aggie Sith at August 17, 2010 12:11 PM (+bSoE)

4 I don't drink plain coffee from Starbucks.  It tastes like crap.  I can drink their froufrou lattes and frappucinos with enough syrup to mask the flavor.  Unfortunately, Starbucks has managed to close down all the independent coffee shops within reasonable walking distance of my house.

The last time a clerk tried to pull that "Is that a Venti you want?" crap on me, I told her we speak Amurrican here.  She laughed, I told her I wanted a large, and she made me a large drink.  I've only had a clerk at Starbucks get hostile with me once, when I ordered my 'skinny' drink specifically with no whipped cream after several times of getting whipped cream without asking for it, and was snottily informed that 'skinny' drinks don't come with whipped cream.  She wasn't happy that I explained that that didn't seem to be the case.  Her district manager wasn't happy that she wasn't happy.

I do get hostile to clerks when I'm ordering a kids' meal with milk and I get asked if I want chocolate milk.  Why in the world would you want to make the parent the bad guy by having them say, "No, my kid doesn't get chocolate milk"?

Posted by: Alice H at August 17, 2010 12:25 PM (qJHYy)

5 No Starbucks near me, but the marketing dweebs say the Starbucksian lingo is part of the appeal and atmosphere.  If you can manage to learn the language, you're part of the club.  Or something.  So there's no way in hell they're going to change that.

Clerks aren't required to use their brains... often they are forbidden from doing so.

"Do you want butter or cheese?" is a perfectly normal question.  Was it so hard for this lady to say "no"? 

"No thanks, just plain."  End of issue.  Life goes on.

How many times have I ordered black coffee at a restaurant, to be asked, "cream?", answer in the negative, and still have cream delivered with my coffee?  More times than I care to think about.  Am I going fucking hostile over it?  No.

Posted by: JoeCollins at August 17, 2010 02:35 PM (hhK9B)

6 I understand Joe, but they piss off the people who don't want to be in the club and are often dicks about it.
The lady wanted a toasted bagel, I can just see the baristool refusing to accept that it understood her and trying to force her to use their lingo.
They've done it to me the 4 or 5 times I've been in there. They're often snotty about it.
I understand that they're told to do this, so that's why I don't go.
They want to have their customers be a "club" with their own language?
Fine.
I just want fucking double espresso, I don't want to join a cult.
So I won't be going there.

Good luck with the cult thing Starbucks' customers, don't drink their new "Venti kool aid smoothy".
Even if you get it "half-iocaine".

Posted by: Veeshir at August 17, 2010 02:55 PM (AEfYF)

7

As a general rule of thumb, I'm not a huge fan of Starbucks - they do overroast their beans, which is why it has that kind of burned taste, and they push their super-cool-cultist-mentality a bit too hard for my taste.

But, I love any company that supports the rights of gunowners, and Starbucks complies with all state gun laws - meaning they will not ask legal, law-abiding citizens to not carry a gun on premesis if it's cool with the law.  So, I give them props where they're due.

Posted by: Ember at August 17, 2010 08:35 PM (HBANr)

8 That is true Ember, that surprised me a lot and they deserve credit for that.
But I still don't like being herded to make somebody else happy.
That really bothers me.

Posted by: Veeshir at August 17, 2010 08:38 PM (HmU2L)

9 I'll take a Mom & Pop coffee shop over Starbucks any day, though, for sure, V.  Besides, most Starbucks don't make Italian Cream Sodas, which are my daughter's favorite treat.  (She's not allowed to drink soda, so when we let her have on, she gets very, VERY happy.)

Posted by: Ember at August 17, 2010 08:43 PM (HBANr)

10

What's funny is that Starbuck's smallest paper cup of coffee is called 'tall'.

WTF is wrong with small, medium, large, and junkie?

Posted by: Jones at August 17, 2010 10:58 PM (kKjaJ)

11

try old bisbee roasters

 

www.oldbisbeeroasters.com

 

Posted by: Jones at August 17, 2010 11:00 PM (kKjaJ)

Posted by: Beats LeBron James at August 13, 2011 03:53 AM (fIrLW)

13

Before you order on our website,please creat a new character on pvp channel which will be used to trade with us,Beats LeBron James,cheap Monster Beats Headphones,Beats Studio Headphones Red,we will only trade with this ID you filled on our website(if you want change the trade ID after you ordered,Please contact us 24/7 Live Chat).

Posted by: Cheap Beats Kobe Bryant Headphone at August 13, 2011 03:55 AM (fIrLW)

14

ontent: For the fans out there that cannot absolutely wait to get their hands on some downloadable lady gaga Beats Headphones then perhaps they should check out some of the many sites on the internet that offer Beats By Dr Dre. Monster Turbine,Monster Beats Butterfly,The Beats Pro headset is a step up from the previously released Studio headset.cheap Monster beats by dre Studio,Cheap Beats Kobe Bryant Headphone, Beats By Dre Headphones and Interscope are betting that DJs and homebrew music makers will love the audio quality/depth and versatility of this rugged set of phones.

Posted by: cheap Monster Beats Headphones at August 13, 2011 03:57 AM (fIrLW)

Hide Comments | Add Comment






28kb generated in 0.1377 seconds; 67 queries returned 154 records.
Powered by Minx 1.1.4-pink.