Categorize this quote in the "you can't make this shit up" section:

The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of weapons.

Why, it's almost as if the constitution was written entirely to constrain the powers of government and preserve the freedom individuals. Why, when I look at the bill of rights, I notice there are several "limits to the tools available to elected officials' relating to no less than 10 different topics!

1. The [Surpreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of speech and the press.
2. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of weapons.
3. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to house military men and equipment in civilian homes.
4. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to search individuals' homes and persons in order to prevent crime.
5. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to convict a criminal of a crime, force the accused to admit guilt or take land for public use.
6. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to try crimes in the most convenient and efficient manner possible, regardless of speed or method of conviction.
7. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to arbitrarily decide civil suits by judicial decree.
8. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to torture and bankrupt criminals in whatever way is deemed necessary.
9. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to take any rights from the people not herein protected.
10. The [Supreme] Court would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to usurp the rights of states or people that are not explicitely given to the Federal Government.

Does any of that sound ludicrous to you?  And this guy is supposedly a constitutional scholar?  Where'd he go to college, the University of Marx?  What an unbelievable dipshit. 

John Paul Stevens, you're not only Moron of the Day (a dubious honor), you're a fucking retard.  Enjoy your helmet and mashed vegetables, mouthbreather.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:40 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Two towns.

Heh.

History repeats.

Sweet.

Dirty squirrels.

Funneh.

Obama the Jedi.

That's Racist!  Yes, any excuse to use one of my favorite gifs.

Cowboy Latin.

I've seen it before, but it is still damned gross.

Hotel review.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:06 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Are you a busy Moron like me?  (Just say "yes," because it'll make the premise for this whole post easier, okay?)  If you answered "yes" to that question, and I know you did, I'm sure you've often wondered if there was a company out there that could handle both your discount liquor and real estate appraisal needs.  Because, really, who has time to make two trips?

Well, my friends, you don't have to wonder any more!

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:25 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Stupid Congress.

Dirty.

Hot.

Score.

Nice pic.

Awesome.

Oops!

Dang!

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:14 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Somebody with a little more computer know-how than I've got (okay, a lot more) should throw together a quiz like this one to test how much of a Moron you are.  You know, how much Val-U-Rite you drink, how many hobos you stalk and kill each week, etc.

I scored 63%, by the way.

(Via Dan Collins.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:34 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Slubkid number two! Congrats Slublog!

Moronosphere Free Radio comes July 4th.  Join up if you're interested.

Origin of Moron.

Bitey.

Heh.

FAIL

Funneh.

Anyone surprised by this?  No?  I'm not.

Democrat talk about how the oil would take years to access?  Bullshit!

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Anyone want to help chad out?  I'll try and come up with something, I can usually come up with images, but the more people with ideas, the better.

bmac looks at Carlin and his career, the Man of Substance remembers working as a stagehand at Carlin's shows.

Where we are globally with oil consumption.

Oh, yeah, that'll happen.

Stay away from drugs, kids.

Hacks.

What, you weren't before?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 06:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What do Pastor Hagee and Paris Hilton have in common?

Giant Moon Pie!

More of the same.

Liberal fascism.

Atheists, don't be this guy.

Kimchi and paparazzi.

YARRGH!

I rearry rike this guy!

You can never escape.

RACIST!!!

RAC...UH, UM...SELLOUT!!!

Britain:  Our eugenics, let us show you them.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Hurricane Pinto makes landfall at The Hostages.

Funneh.

Our media has less credibility reporting on Afghanistan and Iraq than Baghdad Bob.

Moar rock arts!

Just wrong.

The GOP is always going to have this problem unless every damn bit of music they use in campaigns is super old or country.

Attention whore arrested.

Of course, he's allowed, there's a hierarchy here, Jesus>Saint

Heh.

Just fucking great.

Place to go if I ever step foot in the Soviet of Philly again.

Ice!

This is a good move, it forces the Democrats to do the actual censoring, so they can't have some faceless bureaucrat who will never be held accountable do it for them.

Revelation.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:17 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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EPIC FAIL

Moar bad science!

Oh snap!

Fucking hate "dialog."

FAIL

Tolerance.

Funneh.

Mead + Catapult = Win!

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:28 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Told ya.  Oh, and if any morons are interested in meeting up with Old Iron, Lemur King, mesablue, and I think Eggman and Moron Pundit for a meeting of the morons in Detroit, drop a comment at The Bar Slaves.

Politicians are shameless corrupt tools, part 231,713,090,307,982,433,005 of a neverending series.

Heh.

OMG SCANDALOUS!

A very special parade.

*smack*

More human rights abuses from Yemen, so when does the UN Human Rights Commission or whatever the fuck it's called now pass their next resolution to condemn Israel, instead of condemning this shit?

Funneh.

Eep.

I'M OFFENDED!

Okay, that is pretty good, though Protein Wisdom has had some good ones too.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:48 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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FAIL

Funneh

*knock knock knock*

Philly sucks.

Do this, GOP.

Odinga and Obama.

Interesting situation.

Creepy.

Uh-oh, part 2.

Check out all of Barry in CO's pics.

Have fun.

DO NOT WANT

Is Olbermann the future of NBC "news?"

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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What Would Obama Ban?

WE'LL DO IT LIVE!

Takedown.

Sad to see this happen.

A look at Allen West. 

Tread lightly, conservatives.

Uh-oh.

No, I'd say fascist vermin.

Probably too soon, but still obligatory for this site.

Hypocrisy.

Awesome.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:51 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I like bmac's takedown of Spike Lee better than Roger L Simon's.

WTF?

Moar Nanny State.

Sick bastard.

Konichiwa.

Eternal flame to be extinguished?

Pork in boots.

The Pakistan problem.

Moar media propaganda.

Last day?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Reminder that there's a Meeting of the Morons in Michigan.

Eep.

Breakdown.

Heh.

As if bad judges weren't enough to worry about...

Five places in the world you can't see.

Weak.

Neat story.

FAIL

Well...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:39 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Be sure to check out Moron Pundit's Obama Policy Generator and offer some funneh lines.

Lawyer claims Gitmo interrogators were urged to destroy notes and papers.  Wonder what Stash thinks of this story...

Harrison's wife is getting her citizenship!

No ID?  No Jack Daniel's BBQ sauce. 

Lemur on The Reaction when people find out you're an eeeevil right winger.

This post was custom made for Vinty.

Heh

Nice.

Old Bailey releases archives for the intarwebs.

NASA calls on private industry to help design moon base.

British destroyers toothless?  I'm guessing they're still marginally better off than the French.

Snipers love Camel cigarettes, hate Nanny Staters.

GTFO.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:21 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Old Iron and Lemur King are holding a Meeting of the Morons, if you're in the Upper Midwest, it could be fun.

One of our fellow morons is going to be attending one of McCain's townhall meetings.  Got any good questions?

Pupster made a fun little video, check it out.

Moar on Obama's campaign site.

Drag racing.

Sciency goodness.

21 leaf clover. 

Interesting maps, I'll note the much more expensive gas costs in the Soviet of Philly compared to the rest of the state, which is pretty average.  Glad I don't live in the Soviets of California, Connecticut, Mass or New York.  Yikes.

Chad got a nice email from the president of the free market boosting Universidad Fransisco Marroquin after his post about them.

More fun with Truthers.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:19 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Who the hell decided to give Wack Jack Thompson a friggin' award?

FAIL (dunno if he'll crosspost this here, but it's good so check it out)

Rafting gets creative.

A hero...kinda looks like Ace's special little brother. 

Whoa.

Rage Boy has an impersonator.

There's such a thing as an unfortunate moronosphere blogswarm?

Now that is a watch!

Wow, if you're looking for action in NYC, you may wanna look elsewhere.  One in four New Yorkers have the herp. 

Anbar leader says he is open and willing to send to advisors to Afghanistan.

Nice line from Clint Eastwood, no not his pwning of Spike Lee.

Horror.

Funky.

"Counter-recruiters."

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 03:51 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Bar Slaves, their reader KC and Lemur King are having a Meeting of the Morons in Detroit at the end of June.  Bring an extra liver.

BBC continues their anti-Israel propaganda efforts.

We've got to look beyond the Middle East and develop a coherent strategy to deal with China and Russia and try and draw India back in. I don't think the Bush Administration cares, or is too hung up on Iraq, and I don't think McCain or Obama have it in them to develop a coherent strategy either.

Muslihoon has a music suggestion for you.  No it isn't crappy Obama rap either.

Slublog tells Bush to turn expanding oil supply into a project, he's got nothing to lose at this point.

Good news, Jews!  Giraffe has officially been declared Kosher!

Spike Lee is an obnoxious twat.

Some guy stabs and kills seven in Japan. 

Nigel's writing in Iowahawk this year.  Zombie Reagan FTW!

Caribbean monk seal is extinct.

McCain continues to be fucking clueless, not that Our Lord and Savior is any better.  Here they're both playing The Price is Right.

The latest on the ISS.

Keith Ellison is a dirtbag.

Harry Reid and John Ensign's Pork Barrel Express project moves forward.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:46 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Evening weekend edition, AKA, it's hot as fuck and a weekend, so pickens are slim.

"Lightworker" explained, it comes from some self-help guy, and there are Darkworkers too.  It sounds a lot like the philosophies of Open Palm and Closed Fist in Jade Empire, except in Jade Empire, philosophically speaking, (though sadly not functionally) Closed Fist can be benevolent, and Open Palm can be malevolent.

What is going on with the Air Force?  As noted in the post, this is the same base that those nuclear warheads were accidently put on a plane and cost some high ranking Air Force officials their jobs.

Good story about the growing movement for open carry, with a short detour through TLIH.  PA I believe is open carry(except Philly, I think the state legislators caved and made open carry in Philly restricted to conceal carry licenseholders), but obviously you can be told no open carry in businesses, private and public property. 

Since we're talking about expanding liberty with open carry, we've gotta talk about efforts to reduce second amendment rights too.

Hells Angels drug ring broken up.

PJMomma throws the flag on Rosetta's BBF pick.  BBF started with the rule that the girl had to have gigantic natural boobage.  PJM thinks there's been work done.

Goldstein does great posts when he does them. 

Arrr, thar be more pirates then evarrrr.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 06:43 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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