August 17, 2010

The sun has set like a mofo on the British Empire

Sweet, fancy Moses, can't you people get some free condoms or birth control pills from the NHS?

A benefits claimant whose partner is expecting her 12th child boasted today that they 'have enough for a football team'.

Out-of-work Gary Bateman, 46, and Joanne Shepherd, 36, have been moved into a free five-bedroom house in which to raise their brood.

The £1,200-a-month rent on their home is covered by the more than £30,000 a year they claim from the taxpayer.

And wait, there's plenty more!

Mr Bateman says he has been out of work for as long as he can remember.

His partner Miss Sheppard, who currently has 11 children by three men, has not worked for 19 years after she fell pregnant with her first child aged just 17.

Despite her taxpayer-funded lifestyle, Sheppard claims it is her family who are are the victims in this situation.


'I just can't understand what all the fuss is about. It's just not fair.'

You're damn right that it's not fucking fair. You assholes keep pumping out brats and collecting welfare checks without contributing a damn thing to society. She goes on to complain about her neighbors talking to the press about all the money they're raking in by doing nothing but pumping out children and claims that said neighbors are somehow being "selfish" by doing so. In related news, irony just died a fiery, screaming death.

But, wait, there's even MOAR!
Last year, it emerged that Mr Bateman had been claiming benefits due to a bad back, but was still indulging in his passion for off-road sport motocross.

He admits he still has no job and collects £89.80 a week for long-term incapacity. He also allegedly continues to ride motorbikes, saying: 'I have to keep myself occupied.'

Um, most people with a dozen fucking kids keep themselves occupied by FINDING A FUCKING JOB YOU FUCKING PARASITE!!!

I can't say I blame them, though. They've found a way to game the system, and that system has done nothing but reward their lazy asses for their malfeasance. Free house, free money, no work. Why quit now?

(Oh, right. The self respect that comes with not having every productive, tax-paying member of your society hating you and your family for being a bunch of irresponsible layabout assholes.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:10 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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