January 30, 2009

"It will happen to you...if you let it."

I'm about to lose some Evil RethugliKKKan cred here, but I've never owned a gun. Hell, I've never even fired a gun. Even so, I can't help but fear that the following is a glimpse into our not-too-distant future:

(Via everybody's favorite hunchback.)

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From The "I Don't Want To Be Found Dead Like This Guy" Files

I mean, if some guy wants to get (legally) his freak on at home, that's his deal. But at work? Maybe not so much. Especially if it leads to this discovery.

Further rubber/latex outfits were found in Mr Santiago’s car and in the ladies’ toilets of his workplace at Aquis House in Blagrave Street, Reading.

The evening before he died Mr Santiago printed off information from the internet explaining how inhaling “poppers” (legal chemicals used to stimulate a sexual high) via a gas mask can cause arousal.

At an inquest into his death Berkshire coroner Peter Bedford explained Mr Santiago had only worked at Aquis House for one day before he died.

On Monday, July 21, he arrived ready for his 6.30pm to 6.30am shift.

But the next morning, when fellow guard Christopher Courtenay arrived, Mr Santiago was nowhere to be seen.

Reading from Mr Courtenay’s statement, Mr Bedford said: “At 6.30am I could still not see him. I assumed he was in the bathroom.

“At 6.50am I carried out a full patrol. Ralph was still not back.”

Mr Courtenay visited the staff bathroom and discovered the men’s toilet was locked. He went upstairs to get a key, when he opened the door he found a body.

However, he was not certain it was Mr Santiago because only his eyes were visible under the mask.

Paramedics and the police were called. In a statement, PC Barbara Cummings described Mr Santiago as wearing “a black latex suit, gloves, a gas mask and Wellingtons.”

Mr Santiago’s girlfriend Hannele Vaher did not attend the inquest but had previously explained “he had fetishes”, of which she did not take part.

She said he was “prone to dressing up” and adding that he took poppers.

Toxicology tests showed Mr Santiago, of Beresford Avenue in Surbiton, had some alcohol in his system.

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January 24, 2009

Understatement of the month

"In the light of all the evidence, the Panel has determined that it would be proportionate and in the public interest that Dr Jairam's name be erased from the Medical Register."
Go ahead and click here to find out why that was a good move.

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January 14, 2009

British Soccer Is Calm And Dignified

Especially when it comes to dealing with the opponents' fans.

It's not particularly rare for Liverpool fans to goad Man Utd fans by referring to the Munich air disaster. It doesn't happen frequently, but it does happen. Equally, Man Utd fans have been known to use the Hillsborough tragedy to taunt Liverpool supporters.

No one condones such chants, but I do appreciate that many English football fans possess a pitch-black sense of humour - and for sure, there is nothing blacker (sicker, you might say) than invoking Munich and Hillsborough to wind up your most bitter rivals.

The two sets of Reds have a long history of abusing each other on the terraces, but I can't recall a player ever getting involved. Until now…

John Lawless, who plays for Merseyside lower-league side Marine FC, faces disciplinary action after making an aeroplane gesture that allegedly alluded to the Munich air disaster.

Lawless was given an official police warning at half time during Marine's Unibond League tie against FC United of Manchester at Bury's Gigg Lane on 20 December 2008.

While trotting over to take a corner, Lawless waved his arms in a spiralling aeroplane gesture, an apparent reference to the 1958 Munich air crash, which claimed the lives of eight Man Yoo players, including the prodigious Duncan Edwards.

Immediately after the perceived taunt, stewards had to prevent several angry FC United fans from going onto the pitch to confront the culprit.

After the game, it transpired that Lawless used to be a member of a charming Facebook group called 'Munich 58 Was The Best Thing Ever' (Incidentally, why does Facebook allow this tasteless group to exist?). Classy guy.

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January 13, 2009

So, If Any Of You Morons Book A Flight To London Soon, We Know Why

Especially since we now know the cops won't frisk you.

The former Deputy Assistant Met Commissioner – who was Britain's most senior openly gay policeman – said: "As far as I know there's no religion that says you can't search trans-gender prisoners is there?"

Speaking on his honeymoon in South Africa, the I'm a Celebrity star, added: "This just shows that there is still descrimination and sexism in the force."

Minutes from a senior management team meeting show Superintendent Wayne Nash, head of operations in Lewisham, had raised concerns among his officers with the borough's top cops.

The note said: "Supt Nash has circulated some papers regarding searching trans-gender prisoners.

"Some officers have expressed concerns around searching trans-gender prisoners for religious reasons.

"This will be discussed in more detail outside the meeting."

Details of the meeting were released under the Freedom of Information Act and published online.

But a Scotland Yard spokesman insisted: "We are not aware of any complaints from officers about searching trans-gender prisoners.

"There must be some mistake in the minutes."

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January 12, 2009

The British Navy Has A Drinking Problem

I'm shocked! Shocked! To hear that the Royal Navy has a massive alcohol problem.

The researchers said that there was a tendency for sailors to ‘alternate between restraint while at sea and the opportunity for excess while on shore’.

Last year researchers at King’s published a study that looked at the drinking habits of all of the UK’s armed forces.

It uncovered a worrying culture of drinking and suggested that it was driven in part by isolation and boredom.

But they said it could also be fuelled by a need to bond with colleagues after intensive periods of duty or training. A sense of communal risk-taking and comradeship is thought to promote drinking as a way of bonding.

The Navy survey of 1,333 personnel found those most at risk were young, single, low-ranked sailors.

The results appear to show that efforts to curb heavy drinking, including alcohol-awareness days and penalties for staff who commit alcohol-related offences, have failed to tackle widespread abuse.

Defence Minister Kevan Jones said: ‘I’m well aware of the potential harmful effects of alcohol and there is no room for complacency.’

That coming from a branch of the military that used to issue rum to its sailors as part of the daily rations.

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January 06, 2009

This Is Wht DPUD Has A "Fail Britannia!" Tag

Now Fairy Tales are considered too offensive.

The poll of 3,000 British parents, carried out by TheBabyWebsite.com, revealed 66 per cent believe traditional fairytales have stronger morality messages than modern equivalents.

But many feel they are inappropriate to soothe youngsters before bed.

Most of the tales were made popular by the brothers Grimm in their Grimms' Fairy Tales, published in 1812.

However many were around long before that, including a version of Snow White from the Middle Ages and a Cinderella story first told in Ancient Greece.

A spokesman for TheBabyWebsite.com said: 'Fairytales take children to a land of makebelieve where they can use their imaginationsand where generally the goodies beat the baddies.

'Children love being read a variety of stories and it's a great shame that so many of today's PC mums and dads are rejecting fairytales which have stood the test of time, entertaining children for hundreds or thousands of years.'

A fifth of parents said fairytales were no longer politically correct, while 17 per cent worried they would give their children nightmares.

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January 04, 2009

Socialized Medicine+Emergency Childbirth=Arrggghhh!!

Behold the future if Obamacare is thrust upon us.

Research has shown a C-section in those circumstances would almost certainly have saved Dylan.

A few weeks after the tragedy, Clare – who is speaking out in the hope of preventing other mums-to-be facing the same heartbreak – met Royal Shrewsbury Hospital bosses.

Dr Adam Gornhill, the consultant who delivered Dylan, confirmed that Dylan could have lived if she had gone into labour 12 hours earlier – when an anaesthetist would have been on duty.

He told her: “There was nobody to do the C-section because there was no anaesthetist. If it had been 12.25 in the daytime there would have been a team on. We have to work within our limitations. It’s a resource policy decision.”

The revelations provide a snapshot of the crisis on maternity wards across the NHS and will heap more pressure on the Government to improve standards.

Dylan’s tragically short life ended six years ago. Last month the hospital finally agreed compensation, an undisclosed five-figure sum.

Clare, 38, of Madeley, Telford, said: “How can it be right that because I gave birth at night my son had less chance of survival?

“I don’t blame the doctors because they did all they could. But who is making these decisions and saying things should be this way in the NHS? If you need a C-section you should be able to have one – night or day.

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Who Said Nobody's Hiring?

At least some business is brisk in the UK.

Women's groups last night said the revelations were effective proof that job centres were providing a path into prostitution for out-of-work customers.

All job centres across the UK have been forced to advertise adult entertainment posts since 2003 after the High Court ruled that a previous ban was discriminatory.

But ministers are now considering whether to place new restrictions on the practice to ensure the Government is not inadvertently providing a "pimping" role in the huge prostitution industry.

An investigation by this newspaper of job centres in Scotland last week found several adverts for adult entertainment jobs. There was no suggestion that any of the positions involved prostitution and they fell within the criteria for advertising in job centres.

One centre in Edinburgh was offering job-seekers the opportunity to become a lap dancer at a city-centre location in the capital, guaranteeing an above minimum wage.

Also advertised was a 32-hour-a-week job as a pole dancer in Glasgow on a "self-employed basis".

The adult entertainment industry insists that it adopts strict working safeguards, which ensure that employees are not exploited. Employers also point out that workers in the industry willingly take on such jobs and are not coerced.

But there is now clear evidence that some applicants are being asked to perform "sexual services".

Two cases were uncovered in the past year, the DWP has said. In the first case, the job in question was subsequently withdrawn from the job centre list of vacancies. In the second, the employer was warned about the standards required and was then allowed to continue to advertise.

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January 03, 2009

If "school" has negative connotations, then how about idiotic fucktards?

A new school, oh I'm sorry, place for learning, in the UK won't be called a school due to the negative connotations of the word.

And there's some sense of disbelief and wonder as to why all the drunken yobs and chavs are about.

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Ho Hum. Another Day, Another Drunken Euro Misadventure On An Airplane.

Make that, 40 drunken Euros.

The passengers, thought to be from Ireland, are said to have 'run amok' on the flight to Holguin in Cuba on December 16.

They are alleged to have caused more drunken mayhem at their all-inclusive hotel in the resort of Playa Pesquero.

Dozens of fellow holidaymakers complained about their behaviour on the outward flight and at the resort.

Fellow passenger Sue Brown, of Worcester Park, Surrey, said: 'On the outward flight, they were smoking, allowing children to run up and down and ignoring all instructions from the crew.'

She added: 'One of the children thumped a passenger for no reason. I was so scared that I left my seat and sat in the galley with the crew for five hours.'

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January 02, 2009

Once Again, Folks, Role Playing And Home Science Kits Can Lead To Trouble In The Real World

Especially when you combine the vortex of suck that is British Nanny Statism and a shitload of fake weapons.

Items found in a flat which police initially suspected could be homemade explosive devices turned out to be harmless "science fiction-style" equipment, officers said.

About 100 homes had to be evacuated after police arrested a man and called bomb disposal officers following a siege at the property in Harlow, Essex.

Officers were called to the third floor flat early yesterday after reports that a man had been spotted with a longbow.

Armed officers and negotiators arrived and a 36-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of possessing an offensive weapon.

A search of his home revealed a number of "unexplained" items, police said.

Bomb disposal experts were called in and homes within a 100 yard cordon set up by police were evacuated.

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