August 23, 2010

I thought the monarchy was just a figurehead

Since when is discouraging hygiene practices of the British a good thing?  Not only will their teeth be awful, they'll reek of three-day-old soccer sweat and fish and chips too.

Posted by: Alice H at 08:15 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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August 20, 2010

Compassionate grounds

Convicted Terrorist bomber Abedelbaset Ali Mohmet al-Megrahi was supposed to be dead by now, wasn't he? That's why you compassionate UK geniuses let him out, right? And then, he got a hero's welcome. Now, you same geniuses hope the same isn't going to happen again?

The Foreign Office warned that any celebration of his freedom would be ''tasteless, offensive and deeply insensitive''.

A spokeswoman said: ''The Government is clear that Megrahi's release was a mistake. Both the current Prime Minister and the Foreign Secretary made this clear at the time.

''Particularly on this anniversary we understand the continuing anguish that Megrahi's release has caused his victims, both in the UK and the US.

''Any celebration of Megrahi's release will be tasteless, offensive and deeply insensitive to the victims' families.

''We have made our concerns clear to the Libyan government.''

Yeah, you made your concerns clear a little late there. What do you want to bet that in spite of their "concerns," that the Libyan public still treats this like a national holiday?

If ghosts really exist, I hope that every official who signed off on this bullshit deal is haunted by the spirits of the innocent who died for the rest of their days.

And Mr.Megrahi? Please die in a fire while actually suffering from cancer.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:59 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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August 17, 2010

The sun has set like a mofo on the British Empire

Sweet, fancy Moses, can't you people get some free condoms or birth control pills from the NHS?

A benefits claimant whose partner is expecting her 12th child boasted today that they 'have enough for a football team'.

Out-of-work Gary Bateman, 46, and Joanne Shepherd, 36, have been moved into a free five-bedroom house in which to raise their brood.

The £1,200-a-month rent on their home is covered by the more than £30,000 a year they claim from the taxpayer.

And wait, there's plenty more!

Mr Bateman says he has been out of work for as long as he can remember.

His partner Miss Sheppard, who currently has 11 children by three men, has not worked for 19 years after she fell pregnant with her first child aged just 17.

Despite her taxpayer-funded lifestyle, Sheppard claims it is her family who are are the victims in this situation.


'I just can't understand what all the fuss is about. It's just not fair.'

You're damn right that it's not fucking fair. You assholes keep pumping out brats and collecting welfare checks without contributing a damn thing to society. She goes on to complain about her neighbors talking to the press about all the money they're raking in by doing nothing but pumping out children and claims that said neighbors are somehow being "selfish" by doing so. In related news, irony just died a fiery, screaming death.

But, wait, there's even MOAR!
Last year, it emerged that Mr Bateman had been claiming benefits due to a bad back, but was still indulging in his passion for off-road sport motocross.

He admits he still has no job and collects £89.80 a week for long-term incapacity. He also allegedly continues to ride motorbikes, saying: 'I have to keep myself occupied.'

Um, most people with a dozen fucking kids keep themselves occupied by FINDING A FUCKING JOB YOU FUCKING PARASITE!!!

I can't say I blame them, though. They've found a way to game the system, and that system has done nothing but reward their lazy asses for their malfeasance. Free house, free money, no work. Why quit now?

(Oh, right. The self respect that comes with not having every productive, tax-paying member of your society hating you and your family for being a bunch of irresponsible layabout assholes.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:10 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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August 15, 2010

May God have mercy on their souls

That's the prayer I'd be offering, were I a religious man...

Libya will mark the first anniversary of the release of the Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Al Megrahi by thanking God for Gordon Brown and Kenny MacAskill, the two men who let him go.

 Colonel Gaddafi, the country’s dictator, has ordered prayers to mark Friday’s anniversary of the decision to free Al Megrahi from a Scottish prison on compassionate grounds.

The Libyan leader is keen to avoid a repeat of the international condemnation sparked by the decision to give the convicted terrorist a hero’s welcome when he returned to Libya on August 20, 2009, allegedly with just three months to live.

The families of the 270 people who died in the 1988 bombing of Pam Am Flight 103 were furious at what they saw as scenes of triumphalism at Tripoli airport, with large crowds cheering and shouting.

A spokesman for the Libyan leader said: ‘The celebrations this year will involve people giving thanks to God for Brother Al Megrahi’s release, and marking the event with their own quiet celebrations.’

He added: ‘People will pray for Al Megrahi and give thanks to those who helped free him, including former Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Scottish Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill.

‘This is what the Brother Leader [Col Gaddafi] wants. He does not wish to cause offence in other parts of the world, especially in Britain and America.’
You know what wouldn't "cause offence" anywhere other than your backward, goat-fucking, Jew-hating, gay-hanging, rape-condoning part of the world?

Despite this official nervousness, youths across the country will pay their own tribute by wearing the same kind of white baseball cap that Al Megrahi, 58, wore at the time of his release. Many will also have his image blazoned across T-shirts.

‘Brother Al Megrahi is massively popular across the country – a real hero,’ said near neighbour Hamid Najiz. ‘Young people love him, and many new babies have been named after him.’

That's right, people in Libya are naming their kids after a mass murderer, but we have to be careful about what we say about a mosque built on the graves of thousands of our countrymen who were killed by the same kind of assholes who would name their kids after themselves if they could score any pussy in this life. And they couldn't.

Fuck that. Fuck that all to hell. Fuck that until eternity calls back and says "Are you sure you want to fuck that?" and I say "Fuck yeah, I fucking do!"

(And may God bless the victims of this vile terrorist, and I hope he will excuse my profanity.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 06:58 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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August 05, 2010

Can I get a "What the fuck took you so long to realize this?"?!

I'm so glad to know that the Lockerbie bomber was released based on a week of faking sick.  Bite me, Scotland.

Posted by: Alice H at 09:01 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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