September 29, 2008
September 27, 2008
And that begs a question. Do we want a man with neoprene hair running the country? Or would we be better off in these difficult times sticking with the man on his right. Someone who seems to be in genuine pain whenever he’s told to smile. All week, the Labour Party conference has been full to overflowing with commentators trying to get an inside track on who’s doing what to whom and where and what the implications might be. And you know something? It doesn’t make a ha’porth of difference. Honest to God, you could put a horse in Downing Street and your life would either be exactly the same . . . or possibly a little bit better.Ok, so what's your solution?
So, how’s this for a plan? Instead of being asked to vote on who runs the country, we should ask instead how we want it running. Instead of 650 ruddy-faced old crones bouncing up and down on their secretaries and their sense of self-importance, why don’t we all just take it in turns to pop in once a week to respond to things that have cropped up. That way, we’d have someone from a carpet shop in Huddersfield one week and then a trainee vet from Bude the next. Would they do a worse job than the 650? I doubt it. And because they’d only last a week, they wouldn’t be able to do much damage. Or get the impression that what they thought might actually matter. That said, when it was my turn, there’d be a bit of a hiccup. Because you’d wake up on Tuesday to find the M4 bus lane had gone, all the nation’s speed cameras in the bin and a letter saying I’d gone to the pub to turn all the money I would have put in a pension scheme into urine, via beer.Well played, sir. Well played.
September 24, 2008
Here is what happened during the taping of some show on BBC:
Beeb journo Justin Rowlatt was questioning the spook, identified only as "John", when it became clear that all was not well with the government-issue fake face fungus sported by the incognito intelligence officer.
"He was sitting behind a rather grand desk at the Foreign Office and everything was going fine," Rowlatt told the Telegraph.
"Then I noticed that he was touching his upper lip occasionally ... the edge of the moustache was peeling away ... he was aware of what was happening."
For a while the cameras rolled, obtaining some no doubt priceless footage, but then Rowlatt took pity.
"When we had a break in the filming I said to him, 'John, the old moustache is coming off.' He said, 'Oh God, I thought that might happen.'"
The luckless spy was apparently a veteran Secret Intelligence Service (aka MI6) officer who had tangled with enemy counterintelligence operatives on many occasions. According to Rowlatt, he recovered well from what could have been (but evidently wasn't) a sticky situation, nonchalantly trousering the shoddy government moustache and maintaining a stiff (though now unclad) upper lip.
"He was very good about it and just said, 'I'll take it off completely'", said Rowlatt.
Why is it I am having flashbacks to Get Smart?
September 20, 2008
Having set alight the race for the White House, Senator Barack Obama is about to work his magic on the London stage.
Written and produced by the Ohio-born Teddy Hayes, The Obama Musical focuses on the personalities behind the Democratic candidate's campaign.
Songs in the show, due to receive its premiere at Barons Court Theatre next month, include Obama and Me, which is sung by an obsessive member of his team and includes the lyric: "We are a pair/like chocolate and éclair".
Please. Please. Please let the McCain team hammer home the fact that Obama is the subject of a musical theater production (which includes a song sung by "an obsessive member of his team") in a foreign country. Because I'm pretty sure that doesn't help Michelle's kids. Especially in states like Ohio and Michigan.
September 17, 2008
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