April 18, 2009

Restaurant reviews for Morons

It's an age-old question, but I hope to answer it.  Namely, which is the better burger for a buck when you’re on the way back from a night of drinking–the McDouble or the Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger?

Well, the McDouble has some things going for it. It’s very filling. It has pickles, mustard and ketchup, along with that cheese-style stuff (it may actually be cheese, but I'm not entirely sure), giving you the McDonald’s taste you remember from when you were a kid and got a shitty toy along with your meal. Two patties of beef for a buck ain’t too bad. In fact, there are a lot of children in Africa who would envy you for having either a dollar or eating two patties of ground beef. Ever. FEEL GUILTY, FAT AMERICAN!!!!!

The Wendy’s burger tastes much more fresh. You can tell that the patty is freshly seasoned with a little bit of salt. There’s some lettuce and tomato, which are okay (if you're the kind of homo who likes salad), and the main condiment is a sort of thin mayo. There's some cheese, which isn't any more or less flavorful than what McDonald's offers. Then, there’s the BACON!!! That’s right…you get a cheeseburger that includes BACON!!!!! for a buck. Think about that–you can get a cheeseburger that includes BACON!!!!! for less than the cost of, well, anything these days. Until we end up with Weimar Republic-style inflation, that is.

Advantage: Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. I'd suggest hoarding them.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:26 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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