I'm not sure how I can connect this but my recent run of stressful situations, work overloads, the decision to move (perhaps into a HOUSE!!!!!1eleventy) and every other distraction keeping me from blogging is definitely Obama's fault.

I know you've all missed me so I thought I'd drag myself out of the PHP Mines and give a dose of what Obama has fucked up since my last update. 

Answer:  A whole heck of a lot.

• First, of course, is the terrible corruption that has spawned in Illinois after his Orgasmically Holy Presence left the state.  If only we could clone him 50 times and provide one to each state (and DC) so corruption would be eliminated by his holy light.*
• HOPECHANGE!!!!
• Obama's bullshit is finally starting to cause serious real-world consequences.**
• Look on the bright side, this means more people will be eager to join the Obama Youth and Communist Conservation Corps.
• Global Warming irresponsibly claims another astral body.  Don't let the headline fool you;  Just because no reasonable connection can be made between your behavior and the climate of a planet 63 light years away doesn't mean you aren't evil little Gaia-rapers.  After all, the connection to Earth's climate change is only slightly less tenuous.
• Racism and religious intolerance are OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL in Belgium.  Wait, what?  They're actually terrorists?

There?  Enjoy your MP fix?  What else could you want, a reach around?  MP don't play that, motherfuckers.  Morons need love, too, but they have to pay for it.

* - Obama is full of shit on this one and everyone in Illinois knows it.  Every politician in Illinois is dirty on some level.  Hell, almost every person in Chicago has been involved in some type of corrupt activity.  I remember I once had to go to a downtown building to install a sample of a product for my company and we had to bribe the fucking building manager not to "rat us out to the plumbing union." 

Amazing.

** - What?  Cholera is caused by shit, right?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 01:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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