November 05, 2008

Obama's Fault: Fresh President of Bill Ayers Edition

In the interest of being patriotic, I intend to dissent very vocally for the next four years.  The problem is, I've really never had to dissent in my adult life so I may not be very good at it.

Thankfully, the left has consistently demonstrated the correct way to dissent against a sitting President for the past eight years. 

Here is what I've observed:

  • Everything bad that happens, no matter how absurd, is the President's fault directly and entirely.  You'd think this would be limited to things that happened during the President's term but you'd be wrong.  Even things that were started or caused in previous administrations are still the current president's fault.
  • Never, ever, ever call the President by his name and honorific.  It is imperative to continuously use cutesy/retarded nick-names that are generally vulgar, make absurd comparisons and insult the genetic stock and intelligence of the President. 
  • Everything you yell in public is better if it rhymes. 
  • Burning/hanging/stomping effigies and puppets representing the President is not only acceptible but encouraged. 
  • It is crucial that you not only make it clear that the President's policies are anathema to you but that the cause of his policies is pure, satanic evil and hatred for mankind.  Accuse him with hate of doing things that you support, like calling Bush a baby-killer when you support abortion.
  • Reflexively oppose any policy proposed by the President even when it is exactly the policy you supported before he proposed it. 
  • Assume shenanigans on the part of the President's lackeys and vow to use these tactics while simultaneously deriding them as beyond the pale. 
  • It is imperative to possess no sense of irony, hypocricy or humor.

In order to further this behavior, I will provide you a regular update of the things that are Obama's fault at that time.  The following things are currently Obama's fault and he should be ashamed.  Ashamed.

  • Iran's pursuit and probably aquisition of nuclear weapons.
  • Crying Babies
  • The Subprime Mortgage fiasco and subsequent financial disaster*.
  • Eggs sticking to Teflon.
  • Teen Suicide
  • Cancer
  • Global Warmening
  • World Series Games being rained out.

You get the idea.  Stay tuned!  This ought to be fun.

P.S. - Long, personal note and explanation in the extended entry.  Please read before any complaints or judgement of my Obama Derangement Syndrome.

* - Items so marked denote that these things may actually be Obama's fault.

 

So, we lost and something really confusing happened.

I'm not angry.  Not at all. 

Before the election I was almost bursting with outrage about the way this election went.  The dishonesty, cheating, law-breaking and cynical calculation of the left was so unfair and terrible that it just couldn't be rewarded.  It had to be destroyed.  I hated them. I hated Obama.

But I woke up this morning and I totally didn't.  In fact, I considered cancelling this  "Obama's Fault" thing entirely because I just didn't feel like being a humorless prick about Obama for the next four years or even four days.

Fact is, I actually want him to have a successful Presidency.  This is not to say that I want him to achieve basically any of his goals and I definitely want him to crash and burn personally but I don't want to let that desire consume me like it did the left for the last eight years.

In the end, I just don't have the stomach for that much anger.  The choices in front of us are simple:  We can rage and thrash and mangle this country in an misguided desire to "teach them a lesson" or we can continue to be the adults and rebuild our message so we can show America what is really important about Freedom and Justice.

I'll take the latter direction and I hope we all do. 

Don't worry, I still believe we should loudly and vigorously oppose Obama at every turn and should do everything in our power to discredit the warped, flawed belief system he and his cultists subscribe to.  We should, with our patented Moron humor, dissect and destroy every word and policy of what will be a very dangerous and powerful Democratic government.

But we need to keep having fun.  We need to keep our bearings and remain true to ourselves.  This may give the left an advantage when the dirty tricks start flying but do we really want to win that way?  I don't because politics isn't my entire life.  My family is.  My faith is.  My job is.  My honor and morality are.  I would be jeopardizing all of that to fight fire with fire and that isn't even close to worth it.

So, I'm going to fuck with Obama and blame everything on him but know my hyperbole is knowingly just that.  I don't believe Obama is the devil and I highly doubt we are going to be in a police state in four years.  But I'm going to say all that stuff as a goof on the humorless, soulless left and their frightening belief that the personal/political is the sum total of human experience.

Fight the power.  Speak truth to it.   Then mock it until it cries.

 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:26 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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