February 23, 2010
Yesterday, it was hot dogs. Today, it's movies.
I don't go out of my way to find this kind of nonsense, I swear. Somehow, it just keeps fucking finding me!
Film characters disappear into thin air, travel through time, and know how to fly. They're all scientific impossibilities, but since they take place on the silver screen, we suspend our disbelief and go along for the ride.
But one scientist has had enough and is calling on filmmakers to temper their creativity by obeying the rules of science.
At a recent meeting of American scientists, physicist Professor Sidney Perkowitz suggested a new rule: every film should be allowed just one major suspension of belief for the sake of the story.
In other words, films shouldn't repeatedly violate scientific laws. And they definitely should avoid internal inconsistencies - breaking scientific rules established in earlier scenes.
"If it's scene after scene, it becomes greater than I can stand," says Prof Perkowitz. "I understand the dramatic impulse behind it. The natural tendency is to hype things up."
Others in the scientific community agree.
In order to emphasise a sense of "impending doom", filmmakers often ignore realities like time, says Dr David Kirby, a lecturer in science communications at University of Manchester. After all, if the asteroid in Armageddon was spotted years before it threatened to hit Earth, the story would lack tension.
Okay, so it's just some jackass physicist who apparently has no concept of fun, but still, people, please. The article goes on to mention the three "worst" movies for science - among them, one of my all-time favorite bad movies, The Core. Frankly, if you think the American people are so fucking uneducated that they think the vast majority of a flick like The Core could actually fucking happen, then the issue isn't with science.
It's with the education system.
And if you can't put aside your disbelief long enough to enjoy a movie, then you really need to score some hookers and blow and have a night out on the town. Maybe while we're at it, we should ban such literature as Azimov's Foundation Series - after all, it's obviously scientifically impossible to predict the fucking future. Or Burroughs' Martian Tales - really, folks, active life on Mars? teleportation? atmosphere on Mars? And, fuck, while we're at it, World War Z might convince the poor stupid American public that the zombie apocalypse is coming right now. (Okay, strike World War Z. We all know teh zombies are coming.)
Lighten the fuck up and enjoy a bad damn movie.
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