January 05, 2010

I don't even know what to say about this.

No, really.  I don't even know what to say about this.  It has left me at a complete loss for words. 

Irish police have released a man held over an explosives find, after Slovakian authorities admitted planting them in his luggage.

The explosive was one of eight pieces of contraband placed with unsuspecting passengers at Bratislava Airport last weekend, broadcaster RTE reported.

The 49-year-old unwittingly brought the material into Dublin when he returned from his Christmas holidays.

He was arrested on Tuesday morning but has since been released without charge.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern said he was very concerned that Irish police had not been alerted for three days.

Airport security detected seven of the illicit items, but the eighth - 90g of research development explosive - managed to escape detection.

Slovakian police alerted their Irish counterparts on Tuesday morning, and the man's flat near the city centre was cordoned off while bomb disposal experts removed the explosives for further examination.

The Slovakian minister for the interior had expressed his government's "profound regret" to Mr Ahern.

An Irish government spokesman said Mr Ahern has "ordered a full report into what has transpired".

What's worse - that the Slovakians initially thought, "Hey, you know what would be a great idea?  Let's put a shitload of explosives in some dumb fuck's luggage!"; that they didn't bother to tell the Irish authorities, "Hey, you know what we thought would be a great idea?  Putting a shitload of explosives in some dumb fuck's luggage!"; or that the Irish missed one of the shitloads of explosives in some dumb fuck's luggage.

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January 01, 2010

My hope for 2010



Things can only get better! 

I seriously hope that things only get better and better for everyone here at DPUD in the New Year. 2009 wasn't exactly a good year for a lot of reasons, so let's look up.

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December 31, 2009

I'm sure it's just a coincidence

Yeah, that's the ticket. Some kind of craaaaaazy coincidence that has nothing whatsoever to do with the people he used to work for.

Yeah.

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December 21, 2009

Check out the big balls on Barry

I'm speechless.

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December 11, 2009

Beyond parody

The only things that are missing from this column are a thrill up her leg and a mention of the crease in his trousers.

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November 29, 2009

CTRL/ALT/DEL that thing.

This boggles the mind on so many levels.

First, that someone thought it up and didn't immediately say, "No, I have to stop smoking at work".
Then, that his boss said, "Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's make it."
Then, that their lawyers said, "I don't see a problem, let's sell it."
And then, that Amazon put it up on their site.

"Laptop steering wheel desk"
It's a board with slots that slip on your steering wheel and is supported about just above the middle of the wheel that you're supposed to use as a desk for your laptop.
Operative words, "Laptop desk" and "steering wheel".
You know. so you can surf the intertubes on that long commute.

The reviews make it even funnier. Most are around 4 or 5 stars.


4.0 out of 5 stars Needs to be bigger...., November 27, 2009
I have truly enjoyed the laptop steering wheel desk but believe it needs to be bugger.
Currently I am cruising down a straight highway with the cruise control set to 90 and my steering wheel
bungie corded in place. The laptop steering wheel lets me put my laptop in place but it will barely fit my portable TV and I really had a hard time using the desk to iron my shirt and pants this morning while rocketing through the city. Otherwise I would give it a five star.
I need to close now, I see a sharp turn coming y8f7dspufaljdhhfuiljlik

This is my favorite so far
I live in the U.K, where the steering wheel is on the right side of the car. Will this product work in my car, or just those in the States? If so, does it require any extra parts or modifications??

Okay, that's funny.

Via the Agitator

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November 23, 2009

Shall we play a game?

The Iranians are feeling all frisky, they're having some war games to show their might so the invaders will tremble.
Since the same Chinese story has been up all day I'll make fun of this defense of Iran.
I am a little surprised, I figured that now that Obama was God/President of Earth.. the US that it would be okay to be on America's side but I guess you can't teach an old piece of garbage a new smell.

Gen. Ahmad Mighani, head of an air force unit in charge of responding to threats to Iran's air space, said Saturday the war games would cover regions where Iran's nuclear facilities are located.

Good, that way we'll know where to go.

The drill involves Iran's elite Revolutionary Guard, the paramilitary Basij forces affiliated with the Guard as well as army units.

Heh. I'm sure that's gonna go smoothly.
Fanatic military/terrorists, fanatic street thug/terrorists and regular army dudes who really, really, really don't want to be there, all mixed up and running around in war games with weapons and heavy vehicles and testosterone levels through the roof. What could go wrong?

The United States and its European allies accuse Iran of embarking on a nuclear weapons program. Iran denies the charge and insists the program is only for peaceful purposes.

Yeah, it's all a he said/she screamed out death to the Jews.
And just in case you think Iran is doing this for no reason.

Israel has not ruled out military action to stop Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons.

I knew it was the Jews. It's always the Jews.

Also on Sunday, Iran's defense minister, Gen. Ahmad Vahidi, said Iran planned to pursue designing and producing its own air defense missiles, according to the official IRNA news agency.

Okay, that's funny. I figure we'll see some dude photoshopped onto the bridge of the Enterprise. They'll forget to remove the vulcan ears when they add in the Iranian's face. They should hire Slublog.

His comments were apparently in response to the delay in the delivery from Russia of S-300 anti-aircraft missiles, meant to be a key component of Iran's air defense.

Dammit, now why would the Russians be delaying the sale?

Iran complains that the delay is apparently the result of Israeli and U.S. pressure.

The Jews, it's always the Jews.

Unintentional comedy alert
Commenting on this week's war games, a senior Obama administration official urged Iran to engage with the international community.
"We would prefer that the Iranian regime follow through on their offer to engage,"

See, that's why this is so funny. They've repeatedly told the world they want to engage.
The Jews.
With nukular weapons.
Yup, it'll be hysterical until cities go up in nukular fire.
Don't think I'm callous, it's just far too depressing to take seriously and Minitru is sticking up for Iran in articles like this.

(Title edited cuz I screwed up the quote)

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November 19, 2009

Did he really say that?

Yeah, it's a Politico link, so sue DPUD.
I'll take Politico with a grain of salt, but I want to believe this dammit.
So some Lawn Gisland Dem in a "safe" district thought the election was in the bag (I guess he didn't see a need for ACORN)
Quote
I had no idea,” he said of the run-up to the vote. “Both my polling and public polling and just the general reception I got from people in the street was, ‘Don’t worry about it , you’re a shoo-in.’”
His first indication of the upset came, he said, when he went to close the polling place in his hometown of Glen Cove and found that turnout was down about 25 percent, leaving him down about 2,000 votes.
“And I thought, 'Wouldn’t it be amazing if I lost,'” he said. It was the first time the thought had crossed his mind. “It was like a joke.”

First, Heh.
Second, check out why he thinks he's behind in the counting and recounting of votes
Suozzi said he detected a certain exhaustion in voters and cited Arthur Schlesinger’s theory about "cycles" in American history that alternate between periods of public spirit and of private interest. His sense: Voters are withdrawing from the public sphere.
... ‘Hey, I just want to take care of me and my family,’” he said. “People are not listening to those speeches any more — they’re kind of burnt out.”

Get it? The damn selfish voters want to just take care of their families too much to do what our political, social, intellectual and moral betters want.

Heh. Rarely have I seen so perfectly encapsulated exactly why people hate the gov't right now. The gov't is mad because they know best and we proles keep demanding our "rights" and stuff.

I've changed from my "100% turnover in Congress and the White House" to "100% turnover in all elected offices everywhere".
Screw em all.
Even the freaking dog catchers.
(Although I could be talked into not including people like Sheriff Joe Arpaio on that. I have to respect a county sheriff who tells the Feds to go screw).

Via Karol at Alarming News

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November 18, 2009

Tonight's Musical Interlude, Korean Didgeridoo Edition



You all are welcome.



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Just when you thought you'd seen it all....

Does it make me a bad person for thinking this is high-larious?
First, the set up.
The Montgomery County Ethics Commission found that a transgender employee who helped craft the county law prohibiting discrimination against transgender people sought to intimidate people who opposed the rule.

Being a good little lefty from an approved victim class (maybe more than one), it immediately accused that commission of using "KGB tactics".
Okay, so not really funny but immensely predictable.
So here's where teh funny comes in. Remember, it's a  transgender person.

Beyer, ... charged she was targeted by the Ethics Commission because of her gender.

Uhhhhhhhhh......Which one?

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November 06, 2009

Chutzpah, thy name is Babs

Check out Sen. Barbara "Ma'am" Boxer talking about passing a shitty, economy-destroying "climate" bill out of committee over Republican objections...

Sen. Barbara Boxer, chairman of the Senate Environment & Public Works Committee, had delayed the crucial vote for days because of a Republican protest over whether the cost of the legislation had been fully examined. But the California Democrat moved quickly to pass the bill Thursday, which for the first time would set mandatory limits on heat-trapping gases, without any of the seven GOP senators on the panel present. The measure cleared the panel on a 11-1 vote.

Boxer said the Republican demand for more analysis was "duplicative and waste of taxpayer dollars." Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has agreed to do a full analysis on the final version of the legislation.

I would point out the irony of a Democrat whining about wasting taxpayer money, but I suspect that would result in blank stares from the likes of Boxer as her tiny insectoid brain struggled to comprehend the concept.


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November 04, 2009

You CADS

Canadian Against Drinking Suds.
WTF?
I have family in Kingston, Ontario. We used to go visit them a lot, I was a smug, superior American icehole whenever I went but they always shut me up when they talked about beer. I had to shut up and admit they were right. Bud in Canada even tastes good.
So I'm torn on this one, on the one hand, I'll be able to stay a smug, rude, annoying American next time I go, on the other hand, Oh Canada, WTF?

Every Olympics the Dutch set up a Holland House at a bunch of venues where they provide tasty suds of the beer variety for thirsty sports fans.

It's all over Holland House, the hospitality event the Netherlands Olympic Committee and the Dutch government want to hold during the 2010 Games. The Dutch have a simple idea, one that has been a roaring success at every Olympics since Barcelona in 1992.

This year? The Canadians said "No, eh".
Canadian bureaucrats want everyone to know they have power. At all the venues they're setting up petty, bureaucratic obstacles and hassles. The article talks about needing permanent plumbing for a 3 week event, not allowing 3,000 people into a hockey arena and this one takes the cake

Finally, there's Ottawa.
It's insisting Dutch organizers must prove no Canadians are losing out jobs to the 330 Dutch citizens coming in to run Holland House. Ottawa wants all the jobs posted for two weeks, to see if Dutch-speaking Canadians might apply.

Unbelievabile. And I thought the Olympics were when the world came together.
Too bad they forgot to bribe the bureaucrats.
H/T Veeshir

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November 03, 2009

Who'da thunkit?

Who would have guessed that Planned Parenthood would be actively pushing abortions as their cash cow?



(via Breitbart.  Text article here.)

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November 01, 2009

Really?

No, really? No, I mean, fucking really?

(h/t)

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October 30, 2009

He's just jealous



He makes good points, but he's obviously angry because it's someone else doing it.
 
It's as if he were defeated by Jar-Jar instead of Luke, it's driving him crazy.

From Sandcrawler Central.

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October 29, 2009

No way THIS could go wrong

Donor-free human sperm and eggs.  Except it's not quite donor-free...

The American team used stem cells taken from embryos in the first days of life but hope to repeat the process with slivers of skin.
So just so I make sure I'm understanding this correctly...they aborted babies to create a baby.  Did I miss something here?  I mean, I haven't had my first cup of coffee yet, it's entirely possible that they're not suggesting something completely outrageous and wrong.

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October 27, 2009

Was John Hughes a visionary?

A dude from Chicago?  Check.  Someone who can scam just about everyone?  Check.  Borrowing stuff that wasn't his?  Check.  A following of fanboys/girls who think he's the coolest thing EVAR?  Double check...



Sloan was way hotter than Michelle, though.  I'm just saying is all.

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October 26, 2009

Who knows best?

As far as our strategy in Afghanistan, does the commander on the ground, General Stanley McChrystal, have the right idea, or does General Senator John Kerry know what we should be doing over there?  More importantly, who will Obama listen to?

Don't answer that.


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October 25, 2009

No fucking shit?

Holy fuck, this is fucking messed the fuck up.

I pull up along side him, and essentially told him that I had intercourse with his daughter from behind, and she liked it," said Shahrokhi.

Okay so fucking far, I call that "My morning ride to work", but that's when it got fucking scary.

"And he was on the phone with police."
Overland Park Police ticketed Shahrokhi for disorderly conduct, which includes using offensive, obscene or abusive language to arouse alarm, anger or resentment in others.


WT fuck? You can't say "fuck"? What a fucking pussy that loser is. "Ooohhh, he said a bad thing, I need the police".

The fucking police should have told him to fuck off, don't they have anyfuckingthing better to do than police language?

Sticks and fucking stones will fucking break your fucking bones but the word "fuck" will never hurt you.
In conclusion,
Fuck.

And yes, I know he said something about the guy's daughter, yes, that's over the line IMO, but....get over it, it still doesn't constitute a threat, it's just being an asshole.
We don't need the police for everytime someone's an asshole, especially since everyone's definition of "asshole" is different.

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October 24, 2009

FIRST!!!1!!1!one!1!!eleven!!!!1!

I don't think this is paid for with taxpayer money, but even so, it's associated with the POTUS.  If nothing else, that's incredibly fucking lame.

Just use the "Imagine If Bush Had Done Anything Like This" Test. Yeah.

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