I'm speechless.
If you gave me a list of stories where I had to choose which one was made up I'm not sure if you could invent one I would choose over this.

We met at a Millcreek Tavern......snip

We went back to my apartment. .... And had sex, as planned.

You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:

You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.
...snip...
You insert it into your vagina, like a tampon.

And the big finish
I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see my flash drive again.

See, I'd let her keep it.
But I'm not from Philly.
RTWT, it's amusing.
Belated H/T (like always) The Agitator, who's having a pun contest.
Trying to think of one made me belatedly realize the title should have been "That does not compute".
Apcray.

Posted by: Veeshir at 04:29 PM | Comments (30) | Add Comment
Post contains 168 words, total size 2 kb.

I'm getting a "1990s" vibe out of this. (I figured I'd throw the puppy blender some traffic)
Quoth John Kass
Obama’s former patron and real estate fairy, the convicted influence peddler Tony Rezko, is a key player in the government’s case. Blagojevich’s aim is to undercut what Rezko has told investigators. And now Blago wants the president to do the undercutting from the witness stand, with the nation riveted to his every recollection of his days in Chicago politics, hanging with Tony and the guys, with the midterm November elections approaching.”

Quoth the blender of puppies:
Or, you know, to make the case go away.

Think about that. First, I'm not thinking about the elections, I'm thinking about the players in this little drama. They're Chicago machine politicians. Only Daley himself could be more at the center of everything.
They're used to Chicago politics and Obama is used to a compliant press.
So what happens if they do make it just go away or other shenanigans go on? Sure most Minitru outlets will go along, but not all.
And what happens if people's stories start not matching up? Are Obama's peeps going to take the fall the way Clintonistas would?
Imagine a replay of the 90s, except this time a little different.
Now if we can just keep the GOP from nominating Bob Dole, we'll be all set.

Posted by: Veeshir at 08:52 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 232 words, total size 2 kb.

You know, this is so close to making sense it's scary.
In this bar, some of the costs are covered by taxpayer money from the city treasury. ... Most of the people who frequent the place are serious alcoholics and are allowed to bring their own cheap beer and sangria. The bar itself only serves soft drinks and strong coffee.

So instead of having their drunken bums littering the streets they have them sitting in a tax-funded place giving them mixers.

Think of it as a salt lick for hobos.

Instant update
Via the Jawas who linked Interested Participant, which blog I should be reading but there's just so much blog reading in a day.

Posted by: Veeshir at 06:35 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 117 words, total size 1 kb.

I've heard all sorts of crazy shit being blamed on the recession, but here's a new one by me: the recession has dramatically increased the size of high heels, leading to an increase in women's feet problems - including tendonitis, ankle sprains, and torn ligaments and tendons.

No, really.

So, in the spirit of civil disobedience - since, with O-care happening, doing risky things that may impact your health is now a political statement - I encourage women everywhere to buy higher heels, and strut your stuff proudly.  Be hot!  It's both a political statement and another sign that the recession isn't over, porkulus be damned!

Posted by: Ember at 07:20 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 114 words, total size 1 kb.

I AM SUING EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU.  NONE WILL ESCAPE MY WRATH. 

Posted by: Deb B. Schlussel at 07:49 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.