January 28, 2010

Ah, censorship.

I don't even know what to say about this.  Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary has lots of words in it - in fact, the main purpose of it is to tell people what words mean when they don't know what a word means.  Now, not everybody likes every word.  Some people, for example, will never appreciate Eddie's gift with the word fuck, which is a real tragedy, because the man's a fucking Picasso.  Other people, apparently, will hate a dictionary because it defines "oral sex":

 The Riverside County district has 9,000 students and pulled the reference book last week after a parent complained about a child stumbling across the oral sex definition. That led to cries of censorship.

 District policy called for setting up a committee to determine if the book was age-appropriate.

 "The dictionary will go back to the classroom but the parents will be given the option to determine if they want their kids to have access to that dictionary," district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus told the Los Angeles Times.

All this booklearnin' is bad fer our kuntree.  Someone gotta stop this afore things git worse.

Posted by: Ember at 11:17 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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January 27, 2010

Foxes Guarding Fox Cages.

Hmmmm, so you're Obama. You need to be better than Bush.
Bush released the odd jihadi from Guantanamo and some large minority of those released were later found to be jihadiing again.

How to be better than Bush?
Streamline the process for them to get back into the jihadi pipeline!

A source close to the Obama administration said the Yemenis had agreed in principle to the establishment of a Reintegration and Risk Reduction Initiative, which would be internationally funded and monitored.

First, I'm gonna guess it's a lot more "funded" than "monitored".

Second, and very endy and funny, do you realize we'll be funding a jihadi R&R facility?
From the article
Yemenis currently account for nearly half of the remaining 196 Guantanamo inmates.

They'll hang out for a few weeks and then be off to wherever the jihad takes them.
It'll be like Tokyo in the old MASH reruns where they go to smoke hashish and chase little boys and camels.

Funniest End of Civilization Ever.
Via the Jawas

Posted by: Veeshir at 06:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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January 21, 2010

Did anyone else see this?

The HAARP Program - spawn of more conspiracy theories than the moon landing and JFK's death combined - is the cause of the earthquake in Haiti.  It may also have caused the China quake last year, and what we've done so far is just a warm-up for Iran.

For anyone who's interested in exploring the really terrifying depths of the HAARP Program, may I recommend Jerry Smith's Haarp: The Ultimate Weapon of the Conspiracy.  Smith doesn't think it can cause earthquakes.  He does think it can be used as a mind-control device.  In an aside, Smith is a good guy (yes, we know him), if a little passionatecrazy. 

Posted by: Ember at 09:35 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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January 15, 2010

The End is Nigh, Repent Your Sins

This has to be a sign that we're nearing The End.
Citing a more "hopeful state of world affairs"..., the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS) is moving the minute hand of its famous Doomsday Clock one minute away from midnight. It is now 6 minutes to midnight.

Hmmm, now what could have created this "hopeful state of world affairs", what "changed"?

The statement continues:  "A key to the new era of cooperation is a change in the U.S. government's orientation toward international affairs brought about in part by the election of Obama. 

With a more pragmatic, problem-solving approach,
You know, the approach that sets deadline after deadline that is ignored while issuing threats of sanctions that China will veto.
Let's see exactly how stupid they can get (Hint: Pretty darn stupid).

not only has Obama  initiated new arms reduction talks with Russia,
Heh. That good old Tsar Putin I laughed at before telling Obama to go screw. He's too busy preparing for the invasion of Georgia in the spring to worry about arms reduction.
But wait, they go farther.
 he has started negotiations with Iran to close its nuclear enrichment program,

Ummmm, no. Those started about 5 years ago with the EU-3 and they have been a farce. My favorite was when the EUnuchs came out waving a piece of paper talking about "Peace in our time" and the Iranians came out and said, "We didn't make a deal." Good times.
Obama did "start" direct American involvement, you know, sending begging letters to the Mad Mullahs that they wiped their left hands on after wiping their butts.
And just in case you didn't realize exactly how stupid the Doomsday Clock people are
and directed the U.S. government to lead a global effort to secure loose fissile material in four years.
Heh, I'm pretty sure that promise has an expiration date of oh, say, about a minute after making it.

He also presided over the U.N. Security Council last September where he supported a fissile material cutoff treaty and encouraged all countries to live up to their disarmament and nonproliferation obligations under the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty …"

Yup, that and the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th IDs, the Marines, the 4th-7th Fleets, a flock of B-52s and Stealth Bombers, the 82nd and 101st and a shitload of special forces will make North Korea or Iran give up their nukular ambitions.

So since these tools have "hope" for "change", that must mean it's almost over.

I'm looking for armor, a sheild and a bow in case it's Ragnarok and my guns are useless, I'm no good with a sword.

Posted by: Veeshir at 06:01 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Question time

When did President of The United States (like George W. Bush, or any of his predecessors for that matter) ever mobilize his supporters with his won own personal campaign symbol?

Um, does anybody else find it a bit creepy that the Big O is still being employed?  That they're not using the official symbol of the Democrat Party instead?

This is an "Organizing for America" thing, but, come on...

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:49 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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January 13, 2010

Life in hell

And by "hell," I mean California. Seriously, the rest of you had better get used to this kind of shit, because it's coming to a theater state near you sometime sooner rather than later.

2010 is going to have to be epic for this kind of shit to be reversed. And that probably won't be nearly enough.

If I had enough money, I might move to Switzerland...

(Via Mare in the comments here.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:49 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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January 06, 2010

'Cause New York's got all kinds of extra money.

Junkies are people, too, guys.  And, thankfully, the city of New York is recognizing that by publishing, with (oh, yes) government money, a "how-to" guide for heroin addicts.  The pamphlet, including useful tips on how to find the vein and the best way to heat the drug, cost New Yorkers about $32,000.  And, sure, $32k is hardly astronomical in government terms, but really? 

Of course, the move has its defenders.  They're helping people to not die from heroin, you know.  After all, there's a safer way to inject a fatal, highly addictive drug.  Motherfuck me with the rod of stupid right through the nose - I never would have thought!  Thank goodness that someone took the time to teach me how to inject heroin safely.

I think this guy from the DEA sums it up best:

"I think tips provided in the pamphlet are not good in terms of preventing anyone from going down the road. It's enabling a user, or potential user. It implies you can use heroin in a safe manner, which is false. There is no safe way to use heroin," said John Gilbride, special agent in the field division of the Drug Enforcement Administration.

Posted by: Ember at 12:37 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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January 05, 2010

I don't even know what to say about this.

No, really.  I don't even know what to say about this.  It has left me at a complete loss for words. 

Irish police have released a man held over an explosives find, after Slovakian authorities admitted planting them in his luggage.

The explosive was one of eight pieces of contraband placed with unsuspecting passengers at Bratislava Airport last weekend, broadcaster RTE reported.

The 49-year-old unwittingly brought the material into Dublin when he returned from his Christmas holidays.

He was arrested on Tuesday morning but has since been released without charge.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern said he was very concerned that Irish police had not been alerted for three days.

Airport security detected seven of the illicit items, but the eighth - 90g of research development explosive - managed to escape detection.

Slovakian police alerted their Irish counterparts on Tuesday morning, and the man's flat near the city centre was cordoned off while bomb disposal experts removed the explosives for further examination.

The Slovakian minister for the interior had expressed his government's "profound regret" to Mr Ahern.

An Irish government spokesman said Mr Ahern has "ordered a full report into what has transpired".

What's worse - that the Slovakians initially thought, "Hey, you know what would be a great idea?  Let's put a shitload of explosives in some dumb fuck's luggage!"; that they didn't bother to tell the Irish authorities, "Hey, you know what we thought would be a great idea?  Putting a shitload of explosives in some dumb fuck's luggage!"; or that the Irish missed one of the shitloads of explosives in some dumb fuck's luggage.

Posted by: Ember at 06:50 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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January 01, 2010

My hope for 2010

Things can only get better! 

I seriously hope that things only get better and better for everyone here at DPUD in the New Year. 2009 wasn't exactly a good year for a lot of reasons, so let's look up.

Posted by: Sean M. at 06:30 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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