Up is down, black is white...

...Wal-Mart is the new Whole Foods:

They are even talking about a boycott. And who knows? Maybe some will have to rethink shopping at Wal-Mart. Unions once attacked the retailer's labor and benefits policies, but Wal-Mart has become the nation's largest purveyor of organic products and recently espoused a position on health-care reform that is widely considered progressive.

What's wrong with this picture?

"A lot of people have been paying a premium for the Whole Foods brand for years," said Mark Rosenthal, a playwright living in Massachusetts who founded the Boycott Whole Foods group a few days ago. It has nearly 14,000 members. "A lot of people are sad to look at this corporation and see that it is just like any other, if not worse."

Um, pardon me, but what do you think the goal of a corporation actually is?

Here's a clue, you hippie dumbass: making money. I don't give a shit if the corporation also has goals about "sustainable" or "organic" this or that, they're in business to make *DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUHN* money. You know, so they can continue to open stores that have "sustainable" goals and sell "organic" crap to you and your hippie friends. Who, also, might get jobs in their stores, I might add.

Oh, who am I kidding? It's not like hippies want jobs.

Posted by: Sean M. at 10:24 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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It's official - Man's very existence causes global warming

IMAGINE a small group of farmers tending a rice paddy some 5,000 years ago in eastern Asia or sowing seeds in a freshly cleared forest in Europe a couple of thousand years before that. It is here, a small group of scientists would have you believe, that humanity launched climate change. Long before the Industrial Revolution—indeed, long before a worldwide revolution in intensive farming, the results of which kept humanity alive—people caused unnatural exhalations of greenhouse gases that had an impact on the world’s climate.

source

Truly man is a stain upon the fabric of the universe and we should all just slit our throats now. /snark

Posted by: chad98036 at 12:39 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Logan's Run, Here We Come

Listen to the audio Ace links to here.

The implications of government trying to get people to die younger for the "good of society" are terrifying.

I wonder how long it would be until this:

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 06:22 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Random thought

I really really hate the "not my President" stuff.  I find it an insult to the very idea of America.  But.  What happens if the *President* doesn't think he's my President?  What the hell am I supposed to do then?

Posted by: alexthechick at 11:50 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Well, at least it happened in some other country

Although [sigh] I suppose it's just a matter of time before some moonbat starts a petition to do the same thing somewhere here in the States.

If they haven't already, that is.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:29 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Stupid hippies

The only upside to the fact that these two idiots are reproducing is that their offspring will likely rebel against them by becoming rabid Rightwing Deathbeasts the likes of which will put the rest of us to shame...

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:10 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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California makes me laugh.

California, that test bed for leftist thought, is going down.

Now, on the one hand, that's funny, on the other hand, we know who will have to bail them out, Tarp III: Let's Make the Rubble Bounce.
First up, we have California's budget woes. They are about $26 billion short. I know, chump change to Obama, but that's a lot of money.

So the GOP decided to try to do something besides increasing taxes. Dem heads exploded as they tried to wrap their minds around that thought.
The GOP introduced a measure to increase off-shore drilling at existing platforms.
Quote from John Fund
Thanks to the environmental lobby, it mustered only three Democratic votes and was defeated 43 to 28 with nine abstentions.

So the Dems can't have their subjects... errrr... constituents knowing they refused to increase revenue in a non-taxful way, so (More from Fund)
A motion to expunge the vote from the public record was made by Democratic floor leader Alberto Torrico and was approved by voice vote. It disappeared from the public record as if it had been erased, in an effort to hide their decision from voters.

They're don't have a " need to know". After all, those damn Tea Party assholes are already causing problems, imagine if they found out about this?
And how did the Dems try to close the budget chasm?

Some $1.2 billion of the money “saved” in the budget deal comes from simply shifting the day state workers get paid by one day into the next fiscal year. Cities and counties will sue to declare the state’s $3.2 billion raid on their property tax revenue unconstitutional, and they might well win in court. And the state could likely see another $6 billion to $8 billion deficit open up as early as October, forcing a new budget Band-Aid.

Creative accounting, that's how.
Enron just called, they're jealous and they're mad at Arthur Anderson for not thinking that up. They might sue.

Okay, so CA is screwed and their politicians are refusing to do anything except raise taxes and do some of the voodoo that they do so poorly. 
In steps the SEIU.
Quote
California's largest state employees' union voted on Saturday to approve a strike authorization measure to protest furloughs of state workers and pressure state officials to ratify its labor contract.

So the CA Dems tried to do something to stop the madness and their biggest supporters, the unions, are telling them to go take a flying ass fuck at a rolling doughnut and threatening a strike.

Funnily enough, I'm rooting for a strike. How hysterical will it be when Californians discover that they can survive without those assholes? It'll be even funnier when they don't have to pay the salaries of 95,000 workers and save a metric crap-load of money. And to make it even funnier, how hysterical (in at least two senses of the word) will it be when Minitru freaks out and calls Californians assholes? Again.

If I didn't think it was going to cost us many $billions, I would be laughing harder. It's just too endy to be as funny as it should be.

I think that bailing out states is coming and it will lead to catastrophe as the money goes to Obama's friends (NY, IL, CA, MA, et al.) and ignores Republican states. I figure, at first most of the GOP states will not want to take the money, but as the $billions keep piling up in Dem states, they'll be forced to try to get in on the game.

Since Chicago machine politics does not include being nice to your enemies, the attempt will fall flat. We'll have Minitru denying anything is wrong and calling GOP types "greedy bastiches who didn't want the money 2 weeks ago" and we'll see Joe Biden calling Tim Pawlenty unpatriotic, Nancy Pelosi calling Jindal a traitor and well, you know the routine. It'll all be "uncoordinated" and yet, the talking points will be widespread.

I really wish I was a pollster, I would love to do a poll on how many Americans want to give California back to Mexico.
Since you can get around 20-28% of Americans to say "yes" to anything on any poll and you could probably add in a lot of La Raza supporters (like, oh, our next Supreme Court Justice),  that would be one funny poll to publicize.

Posted by: Veeshir at 12:29 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Un-Be-Lieve-A-Bile

And I do mean "bile".
A theme I've noticed with this president is how hostile he is to democracy in general and democracies in particular, whether Honduras, Columbia, Israel or even America.

This one is currently the worst example because of the sheer brazenness he puts into awarding the Medal of Freedom to stalwart enemies of freedom.
Because of teh dichotomy!

Bush gave it to Cuban dissidents and whatnot.

Obama gives it to Teddy Fucking Kennedy. Now, ignoring his socialist, ass-fuck-the-stupid-Americans outlook, take two examples of what he's done. He was instrumental in abandoning the Vietnamese to commie dictatorship and did his best to abandon the Iraqis to Islamic dictatorship.
And he gets a Medal of Freedom.
But wait, there's still more, Teddy is not the least deserving recipient this year.
Let's go to Israel Matzav
Obama also gave one  to Mary Robinson, President of Ireland and former UN Human Rights Commissioner. She was very prominent in all the peace-loving events in Durbin. Where peace is dependent on the destruction of Israel.
She was also a member in good standing of Friends of Arafat
quote
in her capacity as president of Ireland, she also happily provided millions of dollars of support to the PLO, which were used in terror attacks:


He has great despicability does our president.

Posted by: Veeshir at 11:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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It must be Opposite Day!

White House Press Secretary Roberts Gibbs on Monday called Vice President Biden an "enormous asset to the administration," insisting that the loose-lipped No. 2 is not a distraction even after the State Department had to walk back his thorny comments on Russia.

Emphasis obviously mine.

Let's take a look at what Pluggy said that is raising such a brouhaha:

"I think we vastly underestimate the hand that we hold," Biden said during an interview with The Wall Street Journal at the end of his trip to Georgia and Ukraine. "Russia has to make some very difficult, calculated decisions. They have a shrinking population base, they have a withering economy, they have a banking sector and structure that is not likely to be able to withstand the next 15 years, they're in a situation where the world is changing before them and they're clinging to something in the past that is not sustainable."

Is this like the strategy to pick up chicks at a bar by giving them what sounds like a compliment but is really an insult?

Posted by: Alice H at 05:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Lesson #1

"Hey hey, kids, maybe you shouldn't back the presidential campaign of the most socialist major-party candidate EVAR!"

[Warren] Buffett has agreed to lend his voice for a cartoon version of himself in a series called the Secret Millionaire's Club. Each episode will be three to five minutes long.

"What better time to help educate our kids about financial responsibility," Mr Buffett said of the series which will be produced by a company called A Squared and is one of four new programmes the company is making.

Yeah. What better time, huh? Asshole.

Oh, and get this, from an interview promoting the new cartoon:

"Ten years from now the dollar will buy a lot less than it buys now," he said. "It will be the consequence of what we're doing now. It doesn't mean what we're doing now is wrong at all."

Yeah, I guess it's pretty easy to say that when you've still got, you know, billions of those fucking devalued dollars to spend. When you're a middle class family, maybe not so much.

Anybody who listens to this guy ever again is a fucking fool.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:20 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Anybody watching this crapfest?

He just spent nearly ten minutes "answering" the first question without, you know, actually answering the question.  Rarely have I ever seen someone so in love with the sound of his own voice.

Someone make sure to wake me up in three and a half years, m'kay?

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:21 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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The Obama Kool Aid Song

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:35 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Totally ripping off a comment here

Veeshir posted in comments:

I was hoping someone had posted the link here, but it's not, so I"m going OT (yeah, I should get my own freaking blog).

I'm sure you've all seen how they're looking for a "humor in the workplace" expert at Treasury.

Do you realize what they're actually doing is looking for a "Funniest End of Civilization Ever" Czar?

Finally, a useful czar.

Posted by: Veeshir at July 17, 2009 09:59 AM (zXUuJ)

I'm thinking each and every conservative humor blogger needs to apply for this position. With that many applications, it's quite likely that they'll accidentally hire one of you funny guys.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:07 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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An important question

If you had the opportunity to ask someone who's likely going to be deciding important legal issues at the highest level of our judiciary for (perhaps) the rest of her life, what would you ask?  Something about her judicial philosophy? Maybe a question about her past rulings from the bench?  Anything related to the legal field in one way or another?

Yeah, you would probably ask about something like that.  But if you happened to be a Democrat Senator from Minnesota who was intent on playing cutesy-poo with Barack Obama's first Supreme Court pick, you'd probably go in a different direction.

(And the fact that I'm not even talking about Al Fucking Franken here just reinforces my inclination to take off and nuke the entire state from orbit.  It's the only way to be sure.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:44 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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We're all gonna die

What chance do we have against the Mad Mullahs or the Norks when our Commander in Chief is intimidated by...a bunch of little girls?

Sigh.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Obama thinks you're too stupid to read a contract

Obama wants a new regulatory agency to "police" the fine print that is contained in credit cards, loans and mortgages because they're too complicated. 

"Those ridiculous contracts with pages of fine print that no one can figure out—those things will be a thing of the past," the president said in a statement accompanying the 152-page draft bill. "And enforcement will be the rule, not the exception."

Well, there's a reason there is a stack of papers you're handed every time you go through getting a credit card, loan or mortgage, one, that's a shit-ton of money you're dealing with, this isn't spotting your friend a five to cover the rest of his tab.  In the case of a mortgage, we're talking anywhere from $30K (I dunno, what are trailer lots going for?) to a million and more.  Hint, genius:  It isn't supposed to be simple.

Two, most of those clauses are probably there because some lawyer sued someone into oblivion because it wasn't there before.  If you're that overwhelmed by the legal mumbo jumbo in a contract, you should be probably be hiring a lawyer, accountant or a consultant or credit counselor to guide you through the process so you don't end up losing everything.

Of course these are the same people who shriek loud enough to shatter plate glass upon hearing someone recommend simplification of the tax code.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:40 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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"The World's Greatest Deliberative Body"

Yeah. I can say no more.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:47 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Happy birthday, Great Satan!

You.  Have.  Got.  To.  Be.  Fucking.  Kidding.  Me.

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:23 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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100% inflation?

I seriously, seriously hope not.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:02 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Fascism averted?

Texas Dems may score a win over the eeeeevil Rethuglicans in the state legislature who are looking to shred the Constitution and trample all over the rights of the people:

"We successfully stood up for people's voting rights and have shown that we're not going to be bullied into suppressing people's votes," [Rep. Jim] Dunnam said.

Click here to find out what awful, horrible scheme the nefarious Repukes were trying to pull off.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:34 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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