July 15, 2008

Ask a Moron: Hello Wisconsin

Alice H. asks - What the fuck is wrong with you Wisconsin people?

While I am not a native, I have lived in Wisconsin long enough to become very familiar with the people of this fine state.  While, for the most part I love my fellow Wisconsinites, as an outsider and constant traveller I have the  ability to see all of their quirks and faults. 

Before I begin bashing the people here, I'll say that they are generally good and decent people and nowhere in the union is better.

But, there is a truth about the state of Wisconsin (and to some extent, all of the northern Midwest) that could be used to explain many of the problems you see below:

Wisconsin is so fucking boring it will eventually crush your soul.

more...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:43 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 1201 words, total size 8 kb.

July 11, 2008

Ask A Moron: Working Your Partner

The esteemed Gabriel Malor asks - If you think an hour a day is the right total and your partner thinks an hour a week is the right total, how much does he need to do to avoid the charge that he hasn't done his share?

It is always a difficult situation when your partner isn't putting out enough ... effort. Often, one member of a partnership pounds and grinds and slams away for hour after hour ... umm... while the other seems to just lay there and take whatever comes their way...

Umm.. uhh... it can be a real headache... er... or that might be the excuse.

Have you tried... err..... buttering up your partner? You know, really grease the umm... uhh... wheels? I hear that makes any ... ummm... transaction less... hah.... painful and you'll feel ... hehehe... slick for having rubbed worked one out on with your partner.

Anyway, enough with the advice (I've recently been informed we only need one Dr. Phil) and onto the math (I was told there would be no math!):

You demand services at least 7 hours per week. Your partner only wants to give it to you 1 hour per week. This is a difference in ass-busting of 6 hours per week. Let's see here... carry the one... lowest common denominator... integrate the cosine...

Roofies.

Are we talking about the same thing?  I feel light headed.

In order to keep Ask a Moron a regular feature I need questions from you, the readers. Please put your questions, any question at all, in the comments or e-mail them to me at chaos -dot- overlord -at- gmail -dot- com.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:46 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 282 words, total size 2 kb.

July 09, 2008

Ask a Moron: Food Groups

cochise wurlitzer asks - Are sweet rolls a food group? 

Not exactly.  However, HostessTM snack products are a food group that should be consumed at least 2 - 4 times per day. 

I know this gets confusing so, for your convenience, I've provided this handy-dandy food pyramid to guide your Ace-o-Spade's Moron diet!

 

Ace of Spade's Moron Food Pyramid

 

In order to keep Ask a Moron a regular feature I need questions from you, the readers.  Please put your questions, any question at all, in the comments or e-mail them to me at chaos -dot- overlord -at- gmail -dot- com.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:04 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

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