Then we would have an explanation for the vandalism of portable toilets in San Francisco.

No one has been hurt, but the blazes have caused about 45,000 dollars in damage to the portable outhouses and surrounding property, forcing police and fire officials to step up nightly potty patrols.

The fire department's arson task force is investigating, and it's unclear whether just one person is setting the fires.

San Francisco Fire Department spokeswoman Mindy Talmadge said Thursday that there have been no eyewitnesses. The blazes have been set inside and outside outhouses, including some that were locked.

"Who knows what motivates people?" she said.

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That's it! After this, I'm firing a warning shot at anybody and everybody who rings my doorbell.

The victim told investigators the doorbell to her home in the 700 block of Beach Court rang, and she saw a red Jeep Cherokee blocking the driveway. However, she didn't recognize the vehicle, so she didn't answer the door.

A friend stopped by shortly afterward and told her a "human bowel movement" sat on the porch, describing the odor as "repugnant." Toilet paper also was on the porch "where the suspect attempted to clean themselves."

The victim told police a neighbor indicated a heavy-set woman drove off in the red Jeep and that she was selling Mary Kay products.

The victim told investigators the smell was "overwhelming and she had to clean it as soon as possible."

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