October 09, 2010

This Lady Has More Balls Than The RNC Men's Room

Fuck yeah! This is how you take on the fucking O-bot thugs.

Once again, FUCK. THEM. ALL. Hurtfuck them with the dickstick of defeat so hard it becomes an internet meme even "Sad Keanu" would envy. Fuck these pussyass keelfuckers for being willing to beat up some guy at a political event, yet they run away from a housewife with a megaphone.

Weak, purple putrescine pegfuckers, your corruption and thuggery has only served to make us stronger, and WE WILL FUCK YOU SO HARD ON ELECTION DAY, you will need overnight with wings to stanch the flow of defeat the vaagmerian vicecock of victory will uncorck from your foul fuckbaskets.

So go ahead, union thugs. Run from a woman. We see what you are really like. Run from the people. And fucking run from your own defeat.

Fucking losers. 

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October 04, 2010

Why Sean Bielat is important - Financial Attrition

Could he win?  Maybe.  From a national perspective, however, that's not as important as one might think.  It is just as important for Bielat to make Barney Frank spend all of his money trying to defend himself.

Way back in 2008 I wrote about my theory of Financial Attrition:

Entrenched incumbents almost never lose, barring the occasional "dead woman or live boy" scandal. Such Untouchables have large campaign war chests at their disposal, have first dibs at party and caucus money, and often represent safe districts. The unlikelihood of their defeat acts as a deterrent force against any potential challengers, or, if some fool does step in, the challenger's party lifts nary a finger in assistance.

What do these unchallenged incumbents do with their money? They give some of it away to help candidates elsewhere. By helping push their marginal fellow partisans over the finish line they accumulate favors for future battles.

Oppositely, what does an incumbent do when he as a challenger? He empties his coffers! Electoral history is littered with the corpses of challengers who were outspent 3-to-1 yet were only defeated by a few percentage points. 

When we find ourselves with uniquely qualified challengers such as Sean Bielat giving some old warhorse like Barney Frank a run for his money, we should understand that Bielat's use of funding will be extremely efficient at denying other Democrats around the country their precious funding.  One dollar given to Bielat destroys several Democrat dollars as they scramble to play defense.

(Originally posted at my own blog.)

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September 16, 2010

Slatecard is back!

You can build a list of conservative candidates you like, or utilize Slatecard to donate to said candidates.  Nice way to go over the heads of the GOP leadership.

Thanks to John Hawkins for sending that.

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September 09, 2010

John Bolton's Mustache: Fuck yeah I'm thinking about running

Sweet, I so hope Bolton or his mustache run for president.  If John Bolton's Mustache were to run and win, it'd be the first Mustache-American to hold the office, and if John Bolton himself ran and won, he'd be the first president since William Taft to have facial hair.

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September 03, 2010

Ron Johnson Wisconsin

I just passed a new billboard on I-94 going into Milwaukee put up by the Johnson campaign.  It primary thrust is tying Feingold to his buddy Obama.

To emphasize, the Republican candidate has determined that the most effective way to hurt his opponent is to tie him to the Light Worker.  In Wisconsin.

Oh yes, I can taste the sweet sweet pudding already.  And by 'taste' I mean "feel my testicles covered in ."

Also, I do what the FUCK I WANT with prepositions. 

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July 27, 2010

Chris Matthews Vs. Paul Ryan

If this were a softball game, it would have been stopped via the 10 run mercy rule.

Oh, and just for the hell of it, Fuck Chris Matthews. Fuck him Titanfucking style with a jackhammer powered spiked dildo soaked in hot sauce.

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July 16, 2010

What A Difference A Year Makes

I was just a few days short of my fifth birthday when this pile of shit hit the airwaves on this date 31 years ago.

Now, contrast the defeatism, negativism, and resignation from July, 1979 to this from July, 1980:

And this is the money shot, if you ask me. Think of the hope, the optimism, the belief that America's better days are ahead of us.

As your nominee, I pledge to restore to the federal government the capacity to do the people's work without dominating their lives. I pledge to you a government that will not only work well, but wisely; its ability to act tempered by prudence and its willingness to do good balanced by the knowledge that government is never more dangerous than when our desire to have it help us blinds us to its great power to harm us.

The first Republican president once said, "While the people retain their virtue and their vigilance, no administration by any extreme of wickedness or folly can seriously injure the government in the short space of four years."

If Mr. Lincoln could see what's happened in these last three-and-a-half years, he might hedge a little on that statement. But, with the virtues that our legacy as a free people and with the vigilance that sustains liberty, we still have time to use our renewed compact to overcome the injuries that have been done to America these past three-and-a-half years.

First, we must overcome something the present administration has cooked up: a new and altogether indigestible economic stew, one part inflation, one part high unemployment, one part recession, one part runaway taxes, one party deficit spending and seasoned by an energy crisis. It's an economic stew that has turned the national stomach.

Ours are not problems of abstract economic theory. Those are problems of flesh and blood; problems that cause pain and destroy the moral fiber of real people who should not suffer the further indignity of being told by the government that it is all somehow their fault. We do not have inflation because -- as Mr. Carter says -- we have lived too well.

The head of a government which has utterly refused to live within its means and which has, in the last few days, told us that this year's deficit will be $60 billion {hell, now that is nothing more than a waitress sandwich between Chris Dodd and Ted Kennedy's bloated corpse-ed}, dares to point the finger of blame at business and labor, both of which have been engaged in a losing struggle just trying to stay even.

High taxes, we are told, are somehow good for us, as if, when government spends our money it isn't inflationary, but when we spend it, it is.

Those who preside over the worst energy shortage in our history tell us to use less, so that we will run out of oil, gasoline, and natural gas a little more slowly. Conservation is desirable, of course, for we must not waste energy. But conservation is not the sole answer to our energy needs.

America must get to work producing more energy. The Republican program for solving economic problems is based on growth and productivity.

Large amounts of oil and natural gas lay beneath our land and off our shores, untouched because the present administration seems to believe the American people would rather see more regulation, taxes and controls than more energy.

I am at a loss to add anything more. All I can do is think of my daughter, her future, and how fucking terrible her life could be under the leviathan of Big Government and the obverse of the true hope and optimism of 30 years ago. I could. But that is not me. I am not a defeatist. I am not a pessimist. I do not believe that the future will be shittier than today. And I do not believe that the scrawny little five year old who waits up for me when I am working my new shit shift work so that she can present a painting to me that she did in her own hand will live in a worse world than I grew up in. I cannot. And I will not. And to those who think consigning the most precious and valuable treasure I ever held in my hands to a life of suckitude for the greater good is the way to go, I have this response:

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June 22, 2010

Wikipedia WIN!!!


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June 21, 2010

Tomorrow Is The Day To Tell The RNC To Fuck Off

Yes, tomorrow is the day that Nikki Haley will probably win the GOP nomination for SC Governor (and, likely, the state house). This in the face of a GOP establishment that threw everything they had at her, to include lies about her virtue, religion, and state of mind. And nothing could fucking make me happier.

Yes, the fuckdorks at the RNC think that they know better than we do. Well, fuck them. Fuck them with a side of ribs and a kick in the balls. Fuck them for fucking us over and telling us that we have to take it. Fuck them forever.

So fuck you, RNC. You fucking can go and suck off a goatse for all I care. And learn to call Nikki Haley Governor Haley soon enough.

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June 10, 2010

THANK YOU: Lexington County GOP condemns, censures, calls for resignation of State Senator Jake "Dern Ragheads! HERP DERP DERP" Knotts

They're also calling on the SC GOP to expel the fucktard from the Party.  Awesome.  I hope the GOP does what needs done and drives this shitbag out.

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April 15, 2010

Whereby I Wear My Teabagger Pin With Pride

And to anybody who wishes to mock me, let me address the following to you.

*eats whole box of bacon covered donuts*
*washes it down with gallon of whiskey*
*sniffs own flatulence*
*throws last bit of cigar at leftist douchebag*:

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April 13, 2010

Can we clone him?

I'm surprised too, but it looks like Chris Christie, the Republican governor from Jersey of all friggin' places, is gonna be the Republican to demonstrate some backbone.  Granted, he's not exactly asking for anything major, but then in a Soviet state like Jersey, asking for anything other than massive spending increases and crushing tax hikes is pretty fucking radical.  If Chris Christie is willing to stand this solid on sane fiscal policy in Jersey, GOPers in Congress have absolutely no excuse for not resisting or rolling back insane spending and tax hikes, none.

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April 11, 2010

Filthy, Racist, White Trash Teabaggers Doing Something Or Other


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April 10, 2010

Mike Pence: 'Nuff Said!

I love the man in a platonic way and want to bear his children.

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April 07, 2010

Credit Where Credit Is Due

As critical as I am of the various arms of the GOP clusterfuck machine, this one is pretty good.

Dear Congressional Staff,

We know you’ve worked hard the last few months answering phone calls, replying to emails, and meeting with constituents who didn’t want a government takeover of health care.

But thanks to your boss, they got one.

Your boss may have even gotten the shady backroom deal he/she wanted in exchange for his/her flip-flop. But what did you – the staffers who toiled for countless hours listening to the Americans that Democrats ignored – receive? Nothing.

So we at the NRCC thought we’d send you something small in recognition of all your hard work: a comfortable, stylish t-shirt commemorating your boss’ vote to raise taxes, cut Medicare for seniors, and destroy American jobs. Wear it with pride!


Your Friends at the NRCC

P.S. We reserved this batch of t-shirts for staffers like you: the ones who, like us and the rest of America, won’t get to keep their health care plans. You didn’t get to write yourself an escape clause from the jobs-killing bill your boss supported, but you sure will look great while out on the town. We hope you enjoy it!


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April 03, 2010

"You Picked A Fine Time To Lead Us, Barack"


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March 29, 2010

Today Was Not A Good Day To Be A Host At MSNBC

Between the beatdown Ed Schultz took at the hands of a guy from the Heritage Foundation and the disemboweling Dana Loesch did on Tingly Legs Matthews, today was definitely not a red letter day at MSNBC. And to that I say:


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March 25, 2010

Scott Walker For Governor

Here begins my EXCLUSIVE DPUD COVERAGE of the race for Governor in the great state of Wisconsin. 

Take a look at his Brown Bag campaign page.   Three simple, perfectly true statements to live by:

Don’t spend more than you have.
Smaller government is better government.
People create jobs, not government.

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March 24, 2010

David Shuster Gets Destroyed On His Show Today


“I’ve been to hundreds of tea parties around the country. What I can tell you is that I’ve never seen any blacks lynched at one of them. That’s still one of those things that only democrats can hold a distinction about.”
-Kevin Jackson

The win is strong with this guy!

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March 22, 2010

There's a reason he's my favorite

What Drew said.

I'd add a bit (or a lot) more tasteful profanity, but basically yes. That.

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