October 17, 2008

First They Came For The Masturbating Vagrants With Metal Rods In Their Junk, And I Said Nothing

Dude.

"We didn't know what he was doing, but we knew it's not right to have your pants down in a park," says witness Jeff Niemeier.


On scene, deputies found 55-year old Larry Williamson sitting on a picnic table naked, masturbating, with a metal rod protruding from his penis.


"Fortunately there weren't any kids or families present. He has since told us he'd gone there in the past to gratify himself," Vanderburgh County Sheriff Eric Williams says.


"We saw him two or three times this past week," Niemeier says. "Just sitting at picnic tables watching children."


The picnic table where deputies found Williamson naked was only feet away from the playground. Deputies say he's been arrested twice before for public indecency and nudity and he's banned from all city parks.


A search of Williamson's car showed deputies the metal rod was just one of many props he'd taken to the park with him.


"He had a lot of unusual things in his car that we thought were suspicious in nature," Williams says.


Among those: binoculars, sex toys, male enhancement drugs, lotions, a small dog, candy and bags of cotton candy-things often used to lure children.


"We're not saying that's what was going on, but it sure does send up some red flags for us," says Williams

Andrew Sullivan was unavailable for comment.

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